Ambrose2007 Forum Posts (8,881)

RE: Falling In LOVE!!!

But it's for their own good, Trish!

RE: Love is a decision...agree or disagree???

RE: Love is a decision...agree or disagree???

I haven't read through the whole thread, but I'm fairly sure that JB and others who defend the "love is a decision" thesis would qualify "decision" to mean more the choice to permit oneself to love (and to take the general steps which facilitate that), rather than that one can simply choose to love anyone willy-nilly.

In other words, there are basic features in people that tend to draw that particular emotional response, but you'd have to decide to open yourself up to that person.

RE: Love is a decision...agree or disagree???

Well-done, TD.

RE: Love is a decision...agree or disagree???

Very thoughtful indeed, Jacquie (as was your OP).

The need vs. want question is an interesting one. The majority seems to believe that need is unhealthy and undesirable in a relationship. We are ideally independent, self-contained creatures who provide all of our own needs, but can augment that with a complementary partner - so the usual mantra goes.

The mantra is wrong, in my opinion. We in fact are not complete unto ourselves, clearly, or we wouldn't need friends, family, lovers, or anyone else. To those who believe they are or ideally ought to be so self-contained, I often offer the following thought-experiment: imagine yourself alone on a space craft on a seventy-year journey. Consider your emotions as you contemplate that.

When I hear people say "I would like (or wouldn't mind) having someone in my life, but I certainly don't need that," I hear this: "I'm pretending to be a rock because I'm afraid of actually committing to a relationship." I hear someone who isn't serious about having a real relationship. They've managed to rationalize their fears of intimacy/involvement with a popular form of faux wisdom.

I congratulate you, J, on evolving beyond that. I always thought you were that class of people who thought of friends/lovers as complementary, and believed the kind of relationships you've had (and your frustration with them) flowed from that attitude. I think now you have a good chance of achieving what you've always truly wished for because of your new revelations.

What pleasure it is for me to see someone employ their natural intelligence to such a worthy aim - self-evolution!

RE: if you are still in love with your ex (vise versa)

RE: Superfoods and their health benefits.

Bud Light? - Helps one relax and offers some cardiovascular benefits.

RE: Guys can't spell

That's the least of guys' problems (especially here on CS)!

RE: Looking for a date - Serious

For what it's worth, one of the better intros I've read here.

RE: Do you often put others needs first before your own?

I see you were inspired by that question.

I think the bottom line is that for most of us, always putting others first is an unbearable burden, and one which will ultimately harm the "giver." There's a time and place, of course, for giving more of yourself, but eventually, for your own mental health, a balance of being selfish and concerned with helping others needs to be established.

My love is facing that issue right now with her own ailing parents. It can be a tough balance to maintain - often hard to get over one's guilt about possibly not doing enough for the people in need.

RE: bald is best

Would a wig work (if firmly attached)?

RE: we are not a monogamous species...

The point is that you can't exclude things we do from our nature simply because we may not approve of them or find them artificial in some way. Government itself is an artifice by that standard; it required a vast amount of labor and cooperation to create the kinds of societies we have today. Would it make any sense to say that our forms of society were "taught" to us? Who, per chance, was the teacher (hence my "gods" crack)?

We contain many different drives, some of which are conflicting. It is within our nature to be cruel as well as to be compassionate; to hate as well as love; to be loyal as well as to betray.

As I wrote earlier, it's not a question of things like monogamy or murder being in our nature or not; they are in our nature. The question is, Which predominates?

While there are exceptions, I would argue that monogamy predominates (even in societies which accept infidelity, note that monogamy through marriage is still pro forma dominant). Also, exceptions don't disprove a general rule. Some degree of infidelity doesn't demonstrate that monogamy isn't dominant any more than occurrences of murder don't demonstrate that peaceful cooperation between peoples isn't the general rule.

RE: we are not a monogamous species...

Then where did they come from, JB? Imposed from above by a god or gods?

RE: we are not a monogamous species...

That's what makes us who we are. We're tricky creatures.

RE: I feel a deep feeling of lonliness. It makes me feel so sad.

Being expected to make macaroni and cheese... Man, I don't think I could take that pressure (maybe toast and boiled eggs wouldn't be so bad)!

RE: Polar Dynamics In Relationships

What the heck, Trish? Are you trying to spoil this thread with simple commonsense??

RE: Polar Dynamics In Relationships

Speaking of "sun," I would give my middle nut for some (since it's imaginary, I probably can spare it)! We're locked into "gloom and doom" overcast - haven't seen sun for a week.

Which probably explains the nature of my recent posts...

RE: Polar Dynamics In Relationships

And so my main competitor for your man-love bites the dust. (Or is this merely the opening salvo in a continuing man-love dance?)

RE: It's Friday night...

Whom are you calling old?

I'm guessing you're not out raising hell because...your conscience is getting the better of you (all those poor boys whose hearts you'd either break or transmute)?

RE: It's Friday night...

I've just been sitting here waiting for you to post, JB.

RE: How likey would you date someone from a different race!!

I've been dating someone who's part Ukrainian and Scandinavian.

RE: Every go back through your old threads?

On a positive note, the swelling has softened some of the wrinkles around that eye!

RE: Every go back through your old threads?

And I feel that way, too. I actually thought I could take him (the four hundred pound weight on my machine). Sigh, the years are finally catching up with me...

RE: Every go back through your old threads?

I left him in the gym, Sweet.

RE: Every go back through your old threads?

Well, he's got a lot of blood on him, Conrad.

Unfortunately, it's my blood...

Not that I had much of a chance. He stands 6'6" and weighs well over four hundred pounds, and has arms, legs, and even abs of steel.

My weight machine... I was bending to move my calf-raise pedals and my cheekbone met steel.

RE: Every go back through your old threads?

RE: Every go back through your old threads?

Hmmm...I'm almost getting of feeling of deja vu here...

RE: Baffled

All I can say is that I'm damn glad I watched the "good" game with T in Canada (the one where the US won), because she's a much more graceful loser than I.

Seriously, they were both fantastic games. And what a fitting finale!

RE: Baffled

Your filthy cheatin' hearts!

RE: Baffled

Hey, A, I never said my dad's cheek-kisses were passionate!!