Agnostic means you question the existence of God, right? Go to church and get a different perspective ...but, if that's not your thing, that's fine, too.
As to singles dances, well, I'm not talking about lonely hearts club dances and that sort of thing, necessarily. We have groups here that get together and go to movies, plays, concerts, the symphony, riverboat cruises, and dances.
As to the blue hair and polyester...well, not into that myself, but are you talking about women in their GASP -- 60s, possibly??? EWWWWW!!!
Your motives to volunteer at the hospital would/should be to do volunteer work. The fringe benefit, if you will, might just be that you'll find someone to share some time with, if not your life.
What about an astronomy group? The list is pretty much endless of places you can go to insinuate yourself in a group of people around or near your age who are also lonely and looking for love.
If you see that one avenue isn't working, you try another one, IMHO.
Thank you...and I can tell you I don't typically fall easily or quickly..it's a much a mystery to me as it would be to anyone. I've been through so much I'm almost numb to "instant attraction" in that regard, but with him it's different. I am at a loss to explain why or how; it just is. I really care a great deal for him.
I'm sorry that that happened but I feel I must clarify (just in case someone might be inferring otherwise) that I only asked him once why he wasn't available to chat, adding that I'm sure there must be a good reason, and I never accused him of anything at all. Just told him I missed him and that I'd talk to him whenever he got the chance to contact me.
Before the Internet or the MAC, Before semi automatics.
Before SEGA or Super Nintendo...
Way back.....
Hide and seek at dusk. The Good Humor man, Red light, green light. The corner store. Hopscotch, butterscotch, double Dutch, jacks, kickball, dodge ball. Mother May I? Red Rover and Roly Poly. Hula Hoops. Running through the sprinkler. The smell of the sun and licking salty lips. Wax lips and mustaches. An ice cream cone on a warm summer night, Chocolate or vanilla or strawberry or maybe butter pecan. A cherry coke from the fountain at the corner drug store.
Remember when...
Watching Saturday Morning cartoons... short commercials Fat Albert, Road Runner, He-Man, The Three Stooges, and Bugs, Or staying up for Gunsmoke
Or back further,
Listening to Superman on the radio. When around the corner seemed far away, and going downtown seemed like going somewhere. A million mosquito bites. Sticky fingers. Cops and Robbers, Cowboys and Indians, Zorro. Climbing trees, Building igloos out of snow banks.
Walking to school, no matter what the weather.
Running till you were out of breath . Laughing so hard that your stomach hurt. Jumping on the bed. Pillow fights. Spinning around, getting dizzy and falling down was cause for giggles. Being tired from playing.... Remember that?
The worst embarrassment was being picked last for a team.
War was a card game.
Water balloons were the ultimate weapon.
Baseball cards in the spokes transformed any bike into a motorcycle.
Eating Kool-aid powder.
Remember when...
There were two types of sneakers for girls and boys (Keds & PF Flyers)and the only time you wore them at school, was for "gym."
It wasn't odd to have two or three "best" friends.
When nobody owned a purebred dog.
When a quarter was a decent allowance, and another quarter a miracle. When milk went up one cent and everyone talked about it for weeks? When you'd reach into a muddy gutter for a penny.
When you got your windshield cleaned, oil checked, and gas pumped, without asking, for free, every time. And, you didn't pay for air. And, you got trading stamps to boot!
Remember when..
When laundry detergent had free glasses, dishes or towels hidden inside the box. When nearly everyone's mom was at home when the kids got there. When it took five minutes for the TV to warm up, if you even had one. When your Mom wore nylons that came in two pieces.
He wasn't at work. It wasn't a matter of being logged on and then going to do something else. But I explained that in a previous post, so I'm not going to reiterate. I have to laugh at your "would never understand" comment, however.
Awwww... it only just started, and u really like the guy, don't u?
Yes, and he really likes me, too.
it sucks that you're already having doubts... and at such an early stage!! Cos that's what it is right, you're having doubts?? What are u doubting exactly, because i sort of felt you are tackling a number of issues and are unsure which one is it..
I didn't explain that succinctly enough? I'm having doubts about the fact he has doubts.
You mentioned that he's in the final stages of getting a divorce, but that deep down he wishes that things 'would go back to normal' (meaning that he wants to get back to her?)
meaning, he's having difficulty letting go, in spite of the fact he knows it's a no-win situation.
The issue of a 'rebound relationship' is real. It is easy to ...
That's part of the reason he wants to wait, I'm sure.
You said that he has 'drinking bouts'
No, I said that he told me that he has had a few times where he has had drinking bouts in the past, so I was just surmising that maybe the reason his email was unusually brief and the fact he used "U" instead of "you," MIGHT have been indicative of his having had a few drinks. I don't really believe this; I was just thinking out loud.
.. and that it's too early in the relationship for you to start noticing habitual occurences that show you he is inebriated.
I never said that. I notice everything. Again, though, that's really a nonissue..I was merely speculating.
However be aware that the first time he does not contact you straight away (ie this morning), you are wondering about just that.. is he drinking? is that why he's not talking to me?? If you do manage to discuss why he hasn't spoken to you, i would suggest that you tackle this out, u need to understand these drinking bouts so that u don't blame them for his every misgiving.. cos that can easily happen. If his drinking is a problem, it will cause problems in the relationship, problems that might make you suffer. I'm sure you are aware of this.
A nonissue..I should never have brought it up, even in speculation...he is an ER physician with a very hectic schedule...he does not drink but once in a while..he has an extremely heavy responsiblity to his patients and has to be on his toes at all times. He does not have any kind of a drinking problem, this much I'm quite sure of.
I was happy to see someone from CS initiating a relationship, and was excited to see how it develops.. i hope that this is just a little snitch and that everything turns out super A-OK.. but do keep the above 2 'snitches' right in the forefront at the moment, i believe they need to be dealt with, and soon.
The only snitch is his fear of moving forward...and with any luck, we will do just that. I know full well he may decide to go back to her, but ...the situation is in my favor:
1) The divorce is pending; property settlement and everything already taken care of.
2) He put up a profile for the express purpose of meeting his "soulmate."
3) He's expressed to me that he fully believes I am the one, but that he didn't expect to find me so soon. So, he's overwhelmed. And so am I. The last thing I would ever have expected is to fall for someone so soon ...but there ya have it.
I'm not going to tread lightly out of fear..i'm going to face this ..and him..head on. I'm not going to keep silent for fear of scaring him away..I'm going to strongly and proudly proclaim my feelings for him; I'm going to make myself purposely vulnerable and put myself in a position to be hurt, because he is well worth it.
If I get hurt, I get hurt. It's not like it'll be the first time. The way I see it, nothing ventured, nothing gained. I want this man in my life and I'm not going to idly sit by and let him slip through my fingers just to protect my feelings.
Whew! That's a load off. I can be VERY impatient. and talk about anxiety level...yikes! I have a pretty good hold on it nowadays but there was a time...I was, at one time, the poster child for anxiety.
Well, that is very sweet of you to say. Thank you!
Relationships are not easy...and I also believe, when things run too smoothly, it tends to make one too complacent. It's when going through these rough challenges that really makes a person realize how fortunate they are to have someone special in their life.
And I'm not sure why you find me "irritating," but I'll take that as a compliment. What you're seeing, basically, is "irritated." I'm not one to hold back my feelings or opinions much. If you find that irritating, I'm so sowwy...no I'm not ! I'm not sowwy at all! Mwah ha ha haaaaa!!!
I'm a Gemini for Pete's sake! I can't ...nay, shan't, be silenced!
I'm using this method of communication so that I can chill out...it helps to talk about these things sometimes with people in similar situations, or at least who can sympathize, if not empathize.
Thanks...and I know you're right, but being patient is not one of my virtues..plus there are other reasons ...check your email for elaboration on this point.
don't you think you should be asking women their advice on this? The reason women put what they don't want is because that's what they've had in the past and they want to avoid it. They're not looking for perfection at all. If I see a guy's profile that says don't want a woman who likes to communicate in order to solve problems (or let's say, he says..don't want a woman who has a mind of her own) ...I steer clear of his profile.
My ex husband looked at me as a "mommy figure." I don't want a man who wants a mommy either. I don't put that in my profile, though. I discuss that in person. But that's just how I approach things; other women are just more to the point, right away. Me, I don't see the point in making a shopping list, so to speak. The main thing I do list is that I want -- no, I DEMAND -- integrity. If he can't give me that much, he's free to move on.
I'm happy to be able to provide the entertainment for the morning. But you gotta admit, beats the hell outta the "would you tie the shoelaces of the person above you?" threads.
The property settlement and assets are already taken care of. He has no concerns about that at all. That going through a divorce is "hard" is a given.
As to my "keeping a sharp lookout," they don't call me "detective" for nuttin'. LOL...
but the thing is here, no one is trying to pull any wool over anyone's eyes...he has come out and said to me, point blank, this is very difficult for him to deal with, that he's not sure if, at the last minute, they might get back together...I think that, if he does end up going back to her, it'll be out of emotional fear. I am simply trying to somehow let him know that he doesn't NEED to hold on to her; that I will be here for him. I've done as much as I can do in that regard; the rest is up to him.
piss on you..i'm not obsessive, either...I'm just concerned...why even bother using these forums to get people's insight and advice on issues, when a**hole like you have to interject your unfounded accusations and ill-informed opinions?
Yes, I know that I am. It's already rough. But, while I'm both tough as nails and fragile as spun glass, the important thing here is "balance." I know how hard this is for him to deal with, and he has my full support on that, and he knows that as well. All I can do is try to assure him that I'm here for him, let him know how very much I care for him and, beyond that, there's not much else I can do. He has to make the final decision. Even though she treats him poorly, there still is that element of familiarity that's hard to let go of. At least with her, he KNOWS what to expect. With me, on the other hand, he doesn't know me at all...he says he has no concerns about me, but it'd only be natural for him to wonder, since we just met a short time ago.
I still have residual pain from relationships of long ago...I still pine, somewhat, for a man I was in love with 20 years ago. It does not keep me from moving on, however. I don't think it's necessary to let go of all of our feelings; I think that those are completely unreasonable expectations and THAT is what keeps us from moving on, the feeling that were supposed to be rendered "numb" or "indifferent" before we can move ahead and love someone else. I don't agree with that at all. I think, in fact, having a new person in your life can be a very emotionally therapeutic thing.
jeanc200658 Forum Posts (1,858)
RE: Smoke and mirrors.
Agnostic means you question the existence of God, right? Go to church and get a different perspective ...but, if that's not your thing, that's fine, too.As to singles dances, well, I'm not talking about lonely hearts club dances and that sort of thing, necessarily. We have groups here that get together and go to movies, plays, concerts, the symphony, riverboat cruises, and dances.
As to the blue hair and polyester...well, not into that myself, but are you talking about women in their GASP -- 60s, possibly??? EWWWWW!!!
Your motives to volunteer at the hospital would/should be to do volunteer work. The fringe benefit, if you will, might just be that you'll find someone to share some time with, if not your life.
What about an astronomy group? The list is pretty much endless of places you can go to insinuate yourself in a group of people around or near your age who are also lonely and looking for love.
If you see that one avenue isn't working, you try another one, IMHO.