One day this cop pulls over a blonde for speeding. The cop gets out of his car and asks the blonde for her license.
''You cops should get it together" she said, "One day you take away my license and the next day you ask me to show it.''
Three women are about to be executed for crimes. One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde. Two guards brings the brunette forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ." Suddenly the brunette yells, "earthquake!!" Everyone is startled and looks around. She manages to escape. The angry guards then bring the redhead forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ." The redhead then screams, "tornado!!" Yet again, everyone is startled and looks around. She too escapes execution. By this point, the blonde had figured out what the others did. The guards bring her forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She also says no, and the executioner shouts, Ready . . . Aim . . ." The blonde shouts, "fire!!"
A girl came skipping home From school one day. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,7, 8, 9, 10!"
"Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"
"Yes, Honey, it's because you're blonde."
The next day the girl came skipping home FROM school. "Mommy, Mommy," She yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A,b, c, d, e, f, g!"
"Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"
"Yes, Honey, it's because you're blonde."
The next day the girl came skipping home FROM school. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!" And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs.
"Very good," said her embarrassed mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, mommy?"
"No, Honey, it's because you're 25."
Q: How do you know when a blonde is having a bad day? A: She has a tampon behind her ear and can't find her pencil.
Saturday morning I woke up in a hurry, dressed up quietly, got my lunch ready, took the dog, and then rushed to the garage where I attached the boat to my jeep and I was on my way. Unfortunately the weather was terrible so I had to head back home and park the car back in the garage. The weather channels announced no improvement whatsoever so I decided to get back in the house. I undressed again and I sneaked next to my wife whispering:
"Terrible weather outside..."
She replied "Can you believe my husband is stupid enough to go fishing on this storm?"
There is really only one of two paths he can take right now, either keep going as is, or to take a path to recovery. I been on both paths and I know where each path leads to. If you reread my post, you will notice I suggested to see a doctor and not much more than that.
I know where he is right now and I do know that going as is will not help him any.
Yeah I made some questionable threads and I won't lie about it. It actually was people who told me straight up like you did here that made me take a hard look at everything, then I could see that something was not right. Hard to do but it was worth it big time.
lol, the herb probably don't help, but I found alcohol far worst and had to give it up years ago. I can say however that I don't smoke it nearly as much as I did even a few years ago.
To the op. There is some good advice here in some of the replies. Take advantage of it and it can lead to a better place.
Pay heed to this post as 2girls is correct. I learned the hard way that desperation and the whole depressed thing will not attract anyone. It seems to me that you are depressed, maybe a visit to the doctor would do some good, it did for me.
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