Exactly my point! I see many ex pats here having relationships but not living together. They each have their own place, go out a few times a week, do things together, even stay in each other´s place from time to time and go on holidays together.
This seems to be ideal when you´re retired as you can both have your own space and do your own things, with your own friends and respect each other´s privacy and noone has to compromise. And, when you do meet, then it´s like a honeymoon
I understand what you´re saying but....it still doesn´t change my mind.
Compromise? In my book, it still means that you have to settle for someone who might not be your exact match and you´re prepared to change a few things about yourself, or expect the other person to change things about themselves? What about accepting each other for WHO they are?
I think that when you´re past 60, unless you´re desperate, many people would prefer to stay the rest of their life alone rather than make compromises. We have, hopefully, learned from past mistakes, and should value ourselves.
As for the infatuation phase.... well... people will see what they want to see if they wish to wear blinkers but... we should also realise that it will be only a temporary madness! Is this the base for a solid long term relationship with whom you´re prepared to spend the rest of your life?
I also know many people (women in particular) who, past 60, would much prefer to live separately and see each other a few times a week, without any commitment. That´s certainly the way I see it for myself too.
I can imagine! I'm afraid in many countries this still applies where women have no choice and get beaten up by their husbands if they don't perform their duties.
I hear many people here saying that one should lower their expectations so we won´t get disappointed but.... should we really? Disappointments, deceptions, heartbreaks are all part of life.
If we value ourselves, why not have the best? By best, of course, I don´t mean someone perfect, but someone who is ideal and compatible with us, even with all their imperfections.
If we settle with just anyone, we risk of losing out on the one who is perfect for us.
Why do people settle for “second best” in the first place?
Because they are lonely?... have just lost a partner and are desperate to find a substitute?... are afraid to be growing old and alone?..... for financial stability and security?
When in that state of mind, we´re only going to attract someone who reflects that to us.
As I often hear say: “bad company is better than no company at all!”. Well... others (including myself) would say “NO company is better than bad company!
We all have the right to be choosy! Choose someone out of love, and not out of loneliness.
Never settle to be someone’s second best. Raise your standards and choose to be with someone who will treat you with the same respect and consideration you would treat them. You can’t expect to be someone else’s priority if you aren’t your own.
Aim for the moon..... if you miss, you may hit a star! Expect the unexpected, believe the unbelievable and achieve the unachievable.
I thought I would quote those lines from the late great Leonard Cohen...
“I saw a beggar leaning on his wooden crutch, He said to me, "You must not ask for so much." And a pretty woman leaning in her darkened door, She cried to me, "Hey, why not ask for more?"
Some of us only want some friendship. ..to share views.. Having some intelligent conversations...and we certainly don't need to hear nice words whispered in our ears to achieve that?
Actually. .the more someone tries to flatter me the more distant I become..and it doesn't get them anywhere.
Hmmm... This one exists for real..here on cs. He's even written things on his profile which a real sincere person wouldn't write...me thinks! . He's a doctor btw...doing some volunteer work in war zone countries. I suppose that's impressive?
That's right! I have a neighbour who is 75 and has met some guy on FB. After a week or so he had bought her some gold jewelry and wanted her address.. Then...after checking up about his job and confronting him with it...he was obviously a scammer!
daniela777 Forum Posts (2,714)
RE: hahahah
That's the right way to go...And so am I !