fjamesj9701 Poetry (186)

Whats coming through the mirror is still alive
As I stand before me on the other side
I see that what I am is not who I should be
And what I want takes everything I need
Like the bitter sweet taste of apathy
A serpent hissing amidst the voice of divinity
Promising to turn water into wine
As I place a bandaid over bleeding eyes
Blinded by the golden halo on my head
In my reflection it becomes the snake around my neck
Suffocating me with every single breath
With inconsistencies of life through death
Is there a younger face of an immortal me
A ghost inside this shell of eternal sleep
Considerately killing me with compromise
The sword that cuts surrender and bleeds out sacrifice
A wolf stalking me with every step I take
Drinking from the blood puddled beneath my faith
Though battle worn my courage will see me on
Into the darkest nights until new breaking dawns
From dust I came and as dust I shall return
With honor I'll give a part of me back to the earth
And on that day I'll watch the serpent die
As my energy ascends into bright neon skies

~ JJF~

Somehow one day I will figure this out
Why everything I have worked for has fallen down
Walls that I built they will crumble down
In this world I wear the crown.

..Waiting in my darkest hours
Elevate my mind beyond the highest tower
Watching my world razed before my eyes
An Empire built on trust and lies...

I Close my eyes and I pray this soon will be over
Dreaming of life without such fruitless colors
Why in the end must it always feel so much colder
Lord of my life will You please start this over

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I'm feeling so cold
I take it in with each breath I hold
As I sigh
to exhale all this pain
But my soul has strayed
Now I walk alone within this life
With these tattoos engraved by my knife
The same one I used to make myself bleed
Just so I could feel free......

Lord I want to change just like the wind
Blow me in a direction away from my sin
And I want to change with the seasons
beginning with fall
So I could leave the cold behind me
and feel Your love in the warmth

To cause someone such a pain was not enough
Than to choke the void with shame would conquer love
To give someone this emptiness as a gift
You would fill the box with lies and wrap it up with promises

So reach inside I just dont care
You wont find anything in there
Just a broken heart made of clay
And arteries filled with a bitter taste
I just thought I could be your friend
But your fangs were sharp in the end
What I see in your eyes is a liar
The beautiful death of my vampire

Turn on the TV to turn the silence down
Because the voices from inside they echo loud
Feeling dragged until the finger nails are all torn out
As the taste of my dying pleasure drips from your mouth

So rip my heart out through my spine
I'm sure it won't hurt as bad this time
You see Im not made from paper mache
I will not easily tear and just blow away
So you won't crumble me up again
And throw me away with the wind
My bitterness has cut a frown into your smile
The beautiful death of my vampire

I have flown on wings of dreams, but I never could land well
I've never been to the end of a rainbow and I've never talked to an angel
I could never reach the fleeing horizons and I could never catch the wind
I have never caressed a sliver of moonlight until it touched your skin
When I first saw the beauty of your silhouette standing before the sun
I was the pilot of a new dream landing in your love
Then my tears reflected colors of a rainbow and I could talk to God
I could finally reach the horizons as you woke up in my arms
And I dont care where the winds blow as long as I'm with you
We could float into forever where Delphinus stars may bloom
Where time is never the difference between nights and days
We could cast our shadows from moonlight as we let our hands play
Plucking beautiful flowers from heaven until the end of times
Planting new celestial gardens beyond our endless skies

~ JJF~

The difference between something and nothing could be a matter of perception
Once and if I control that depth would I see a better mans reflection
If my faith is truly believing in something that I cannot see
Than am I bound by my heart as my hands surf upon a gentle breeze
In order to determine whether we know anything with certainty
We first have to doubt everything we know and let our minds roam free
The fear of death follows only from the fear of life
A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time
So as my hands collapse upon bent knees then will my Father take me back
Then I believe that life is worth living and my belief will help create the fact
~ JJF~

Dirt only knows how to be honest it's man who makes it stain
A dirty mouth, a dirty thought, or by something more mundane
Without it there isn't pond or lake nor any oceans to behold
To generate the wind over land and flowers to be blown
It cradles all the roots of plants for all that needs to eat
Giving to the trees that give our lungs the air to breathe
Dirt will leave it's mark upon the hands of an honest working man
It's the smudges on the faces of little children when they laugh
Add a little water and it becomes a thing we use to build
Then give it a little time and history is frozen still
It is as much a part of us as we are to the earth
It's the purist form of life and even in death it will rebirth
She is the mother of our creation and gentle like a woman's eyes
She comforts our existence and the apple of our heavens sky
So when that day should come please don't place me in a wooden case
Throw dirt upon my naked body so that gardens may take my place

~ JJF~

Every morning he walked the path through immortal trees
Just right before dawn while natures at peace
Deep in the forest he listened to the shivering leaves
Celebrating their life with only the weight of a breeze
Strolling on through the wilderness still foggy with mist
With every step he's determined inhaling the wind
Surveying the landscape divided by rolling slopes
In search of the one perfect flower that will give meaning to hope
Beyond rushing streams in final remnants of night
Etched with the last silvered thorns of adorning moonlight
Near the end he discovered with sorrow decayed and disheveling trees
But then he heard cheerful whispers from the first birds to sing
As the morning swords of sunrise gave birth to new eyes
He admires the passion of the dying inspiring new life
And with contemplation he studies a beautiful rare flower in bloom
Growing upon the dead flesh of the earth and with peace his heart was consumed


~ JJF~

There's something unspecific about the autumn nights
A certain shade of color that uplifts my inner child's eyes
Beside a cashmere moon Venus and Jupiter shine bright
Complimented by a sea of blinking infinite twilight
The scent of burning oak lingers in the air from home made fires
Reminiscent of a time when this man was just a child
Careless and so free to dream and any dream to live
Like feathers floating across a field carried by the wind
As a gentle breeze blows through the leaves shivering delightful gloom
Unlike flowers of springtime the disheveled autumn vibrance bloom
Leaves crackle beneath my feet along the skeleton tree path
Where I try to find my peace or a song to make me laugh
The air is so much crisper and also soothing when I breathe it in
Underneath a starry sky and brighter constellations of Heaven
Amidst the trail I pass a lovely couple holding hands
While their children run aside frolicking in a playful dance
An old man and his wife admire the view from a wooden bench
With smiles on their face as if nostalgia is still their closest friend
Its these specific autumn affects that bring me sorrows and joy
Reminding me of all theses things Ive wanted as a man since I was a little boy
Its times like these that I wish I wasn't always so alone
Because I would light an fire with my family and call it home

Please do not disturb the beast in its peaceful and quiet place
Where the dead leaves are dancing merrily in a gentle wind of faith
Along skeleton paths of disheveled trees you can hear them whispering
Honoring autumns remnant decay and conjuring efflorescent spring
While birds begin to whistle in such a sweet soliloquy of melodies
Runaway ye fearless child into the darkness where you sleep
And clear a path for the wild ones leading to your hollowed grove
Where I found feasting among the dead a red blossoming velvet rose
Surrounded by a halo of darkness under a piercing blade of sun light
Tempted by its pleasure the beasts will insist that it's alright
Then by thoughtful contemplation I plucked it as blood mixed with tears began to drop
Painfully I pulled every petal repeating "she loves me so, she loves me not"
My Oh My how the colors have changed with the wondrous seasons reign
I guess she no longer loves me, but isn't that just natures way
Shy away you phantoms and let the new cycles of life rebuild their homes
Leave the undead to worry for themselves and let my luminous flowers grow
~ JJF~

Look deeper inside the universe and you will find it's brilliant mind
Transcranial stimulation directing intelligent design
The Heavens celestial is the body of an eternal dream within it's own
A window into the galaxies where the heart is connected to it's soul
While event horizon reflects a dark side there is still a beauty to behold
Through parallel dimensions and wormholes into eternities of the great unknown
Where there is only the absence of time not space, a beginning without an end
Floating through the Milky Way across a gentle stellar wind
Deep into the macrocosmic silence I close my eyes and disappear
Awaiting on the other side is the golden thrones of new frontiers
Unto the Nebulas of Orions belt you can feel the gift of life
A place one day we'll again call home as we ascend into its light
~ Come Visit ~

~ JJF~

Alone in darkness
Patiently I wait with my mysery,
I focuss on the illusions,
Because I can not escape from my reality.
I run my fingers through my hair,
A frustration created through my own devise.
Shadows dancing everywhere
Resurfacing I feel my old demons rise..
Haunting me, whispering
Run away you will be ok

Runaway
Forget the past and everything that is broke or hurt
You will be okay
Dont shove it all inside that only makes it worst
I hold my own
Simply just to save myself
A repercussion of my darkest soul
The reason why I walk alone
So stay away