fjamesj9701 Poetry (186)

---- IMAGE REMOVED because photobucket.com no longer allows embedded images ----Seasons in abyss
Lest darkness embraces light
One cannot find truth

I know its the summer time because of how naturally
Your beauty compliments the caress of a summer breeze
As I watch the world from beneath a shady tree
I take in the delightful comfort of everything I see
But in the same breath I am holding up my hands
Lord will you please give me back the things I no longer have
They are even more a part of me now that they are gone
As the sun falls below where the horizon is still holding on
Somewhere between the falling light and a star lit night
Is a dream that last forever and will never say goodbye
As the wind gently blows through the brush and shakes the leaves
It begins to hum a melody that I want to sing
At that very moment I smile for all the joy I have
Its so uplifting for me to see melancholy dance
Soon the morning sun will rise and capture my eyes
As I watch the hand of God paint a brand new sky
With every stroke of color I swallow all my pride
And I find a new place to dream of endless times
If I should ever get to the place I left my broken heart
Only then will I believe this brand new day will start
Again Im reminded of why my heart beats so restlessly
Only the speed of thought and my soul beneath this tree

When my darkness felt light it was never again satisfied
Until it swallowed the sun leaving my hope endless nights
My eyes affixed upon the brilliant silver light of the moon
But the same nothing wanted a taste until it too was consumed
As I wished upon stars burning like candles in the sky
Blood from my hand touches canvas of white
With my heart I made sand castles for tides to wash away dreams
Behind the echoes of never was the quietness of never will wants to be
Focussing on whispered silhouettes adjusting to night
The pilots soul searches deeper through the curiosity inside
Shadows rise and fall while some enchantingly danced around
Illuminating a golden annulus then dressing the demon in his gowns
Softly my fingers trace a path across sandblasted skin
Releasing a sigh igniting the dead flesh from my sins
Haloed angels stare upon the creation of a pieced together life
Fankenstein takes away innocence killing his virgin bride
Devouring constellations, burning heaven, and freezing hell
The empty voids of darkness must have won, because black is all I felt

---- IMAGE REMOVED because photobucket.com no longer allows embedded images ----Yesterday was dark and gray and today its still the same
Tomorrow's forecast is slightly cloudy with a chance of rain
Imagine if we lived in a world where we turn on the news
Instead of something tragic it would tell us something good
But nothing is more assured than the plans devised by men
Building war machines and honoring the dead
Kindness proceeds a kind act if one passed it on and it never ends
The world isn't full of strangers just some friends we havent met
I know this could never be a perfect place and yet we still pretend
But nothing is more perfect than what we find inside heaven
One day we will all meet our maker or what ever it is that you believe
The depths may be in a ocean but it begins with a single stream

I remember that day and never looking back
I said goodbye to my family and grabbed my duffel bag
Im off to be a hero just like my grandfather and my dad
Im going to fight for America Im going to become a man
I will make you all proud by protecting all your dreams
Generations of battles war nerve pumping throughout my veins
Familiar echoing war drum beating inside from my angry heart
No sooner than I am deployed the blood shed and death will start
Nothing could prepare me for the violence I would see
I met death with my first kill, and made a deal with inhumanity
My first experience of occupation I fired at every moving car
The rules of engagement were simple kill everything both near and far
Giving candy to little kids all named Michel Jackson, but not to win hearts
But to use them as human shields against the enemy insurgent charge
Women and child seperated from their husbands and father
We were lethal shepherds in armor hurding the lambs into the slaughter
Still to this day when I close my eyes their screams become my ghost
Eight months inside the hole, I lost myself, I lost all of my hope
My dreams become a horror for my nightmares have now over filled
And from my cup and my eyes their blood will be poured and spilled
I look at a tattered picture of my own family back at home
But can not smile or remember or I too will come undone
Numb by design, programmed in fear, and not to feel
Compassion has left me alone, I am cold organic steel
Casualties of war are corpses I ran over in the valleys and the fields
Im a killing machine a 1014 an M16 are the swords that I weild
A modern day holocaust ordered to kill anything posing a threat
But when getting fired upon from a crowd its hard to identify a target
Lock and load Little Elvis once again it's time to kill
Weapons forged against us lay in the terrain and hides in the hills
RPG fires into defending walls as bullets fire screaming past my head
Machine gunners leveled that f@@#ing building while my comrades are laying dead
Adrenalin pumping fuels the plans for my next attack
Hot flashes of steel pierces my skin as shrapnel shreds through my flak
People who were in prayer were no safer from their deaths
Bodies still burning, in pieces, or taking their final breath
Children run through my site with tears inside their innocent stripped eyes
She was no older than ten as she watched her little brother die
Deafened ears fall upon me, blood now is my fate
Hell is abroad in this desolate God forsaken place
Soldiers took trophy pictures of their faces with the dead
Who is the enemy I wonder, this doesn't make any sense
The boy who left home to become a man he never did come back
His soul still wanders the Tigris River lost forever to Combat

For all of my fallen friends, heroes, and families. You are always with me and will see you soon

Another sleepless night

Is burning my tired eyes

And it begins to seem

That I'm inbetween awake and a dream

My head is sinking down

Lord will you please pull me out

Or in my own wake I will drown



I follow every word You say, every night I pray

And we talk everyday,

But why am I still so afraid

Im down on my knees

But sometimes your not easy to please

How much loger must my wounds bleed?



I once walked away

When things didnt go my way

But its Your will now I see

It is You who lives in me

No matter how long I must wait

Mo matter how much my heart breaks

I will trust in Your faith

Fear
Is a simple thing but it eats me up inside
It tells me lies
Controlling my perception when I let it drive
Then there is the sound
Of electric blue letting in a melodic tune
That brings me down
As my eyes follow the music that I find in you
Reminding me
of who I really am and who hides behind this mask
Is just a boy that never grows
Only a longer list of more hurting truths to add
Then I take a band aid
and I stick it to my head
As I try to learn the definition
of failing self acceptance

Behind a box of excuses
the shelf is growing mold
Of all the time that I've waisted
and you still kept your eyes closed

Sober
Is the affect of my flesh growing mad
And death
Seems to be the only solution to being sad
I build my faith up
Just to let realization bring it back down
As I held your face up
My eyes were lost inside the clouds
How can I return
to find my life again
I sit here in silence
And my smile just pretends
Don't say that it will be OK
And that this is just a phase
I have been pushing this rock uphill
now it seems for days

As your voice speaks in words
That I have never heard
I began to realize
that this hell is something that I deserve

---- IMAGE REMOVED because photobucket.com no longer allows embedded images ----
Maybe you like eating sushi and maybe I like bakchoy
Maybe you like Haagen Dazs, but I like Cheese burgers from Detroit
My friend Liam like eating Duck Curry, he's from Ireland
He offered me some Boxty Cake and said happy birthday man
LadyJewel enjoys sharing her Meringue with a guy named Micheal that Im jealous of
Kathy made a delicious dish thats as sweet as she and calls it Pavlova
I can dream all day of all the foods from the Caribbean
So Bajanshay sent me a picture yesterday of what she had for din
Maybe Ken does have a taste for tacos
Maybe Paloma wants a taste of Tai
Maybe Happy wants some Italian bread
Maybe Rapture like hers white on rye
Linda gave me a glass of milk and served me a bowl of her cottage pie
Than for dessert she made a really dreamy Chocolate pudding surprise
While Macradloff enjoys his new AC eating a box of lucky charms
Im going to the Greeks to get a bag of baklava
Mmmm that spicy cajun rice and who doesnt like their Kentucky chicken fried
How about them Dodgers and please pass me a biscuit with some Butter on the side
MadTat always gets the munchies and eats up all my Little Debbie Cakes
After me and Cafe dueled at Noon we went to Christina's for a steak
Steve gave me some ham and peas Macduff gave me a plate of fish and chips
Australia is now another place I will soon have to visit
CherryReggae has the last box of Hostess Twinkies on this earth
Im going to catch her slipping and take them when shes not alert
I once never got my coconut sweet bread that came fromTrinidad
My friend MMPN1 sent it UPS, but it was eaten by my mail man
So stop and think about your words before you shout another racial slur
And think about all of the tasty foods that you enjoy from all around the world
Good bacon comes from Canada
We all know Mr Fellsman is the man
Great Pizza comes from Chicago
Korea...dog many cat

It gets so hard sometimes I don't want to face life
As I impatiently wait for my time to rise
So much anger and hatred built up inside
As I look to the heavens and as my God WHY
Sometimes I wish I could hold the sun in my hand and make time stand still
Because reality harsh and it grips my fear
But from cradle to grave I have to stand strong
No more standing in line it's time to move on
MOVE ON…..!

Because every moment is precious
And everything I love will turn to dust

I whispered into the emptiness afraid of what I'm might hear
But even more afraid that there would be nothing there
My shadow casted fear and gave a reason for my pain
As my thoughts became like rotten fruit and they began to fall away
My lips utter desperately from deep inside a broken heart
I look up to the heavens, but my flesh stays hidden in the dark
Where silence fills the voids to disengage and disrepair
Better days let me escape and evaporate into the air
I sit beside myself when I'm alone at night
As I listen to the melodies of the dead trying to capture a life
And from this sorrow loneliness became my only friend
While emptiness replayed their voices over and over again

We sent a golden record on a voyage deep into outer space
But still the nearest star is forty thousand light years away
And on this record are some sounds from the planet earth
From falling rain and crashing waves, to the songs of whales and birds
Pieces of our culture, arts and science, Bach and Beethoven
Mathematical diagrams, and a naked couples silhouette are on this token
Insects and mother nature with a map that even leads the way
To the blue populated planet in the middle of the milky way
In fiftysix different languages we sent a message saying hello
Nasa gathered all this information and sent it in this probe
A time capsule some may call as drifts further into the deep
Of nothing beyond infinity as we wonder who it will reach
We told them of our strengths and goals, our aspirations and our dreams
A peaceful civilization, but really we were only lying through our teeth
We didnt send them the sounds of bombs or deaths from endless wars destruction
The image of poverty and pollution, nor greedy desires for total domination
Just a colorful painted picture of what we hope and want to be
Hopefully these beings are a peaceful bunch and we can live together in harmony
But if we have already made contact then with good reason the governments would want to lie
Do you remember Orson Welles broadcast when people started running for their lives
Besides we can barely communicate with our own families much less another race
Just think of how you killed the spider that was an alien on your leg
Or the man who's treated different because of the color of his skin
Or the one thats looked at as an enemy because of his foreign religion
All someone would have to ask is do you believe in God and is He worth fighting for
If they answer no then history repeats itself and we have an interstellar war
But what if we make contact with a race something like the Borg
"Resistance is futile" and they step on us like cockroaches on the floor
So my question is do we really want to send an invitation deep into unknown
Or do we wait silent and still and let universal nature take its coarse
*JJF*
5/4/2013

I pull my blinds down shut to end another day
An eerie silence fills the halls with lonesomeness and decay
I draw my sheets back and clear the thoughts inside my head
Because the quietness breaks my heart when im alone in bed
I turn the T.V. on to turn the emptiness down
I hear the voices speaking, but I can't make out the sounds
I look at my bible filled with guilt and shame inside
I havent picked it up to read for quite some time
And with hell I look up to my ceiling and cry
Have You abandoned me too for ever leaving Your side
Lord just light the way and I will come back home
Lead me back to that place I was once before
I know I havent prayed, because I have been afraid
I know I let You down and I was scared of what You might say
Forgive me for ever thinking I could do this on my own
Please give me strength so that I can carry on
And help me turn these pages once again
So that I may be all I'm meant to be in the end
A better friend, a better son, and a better brother
A better uncle, nephew, cousin, and a better lover
Teach me to be a father who leads his child with strong hands
Because I know that You made me to be more than I am

*JJF*
4/18/2013