Most Viewed Humor Poems (1,865)

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AN D veeletts ;¿ R bLoW

P e GG y arE purdey.(» ANd
Sew R Su e...to
for 2 b e Sue U 2 . IS
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BJump Into blue
So!! Go fOr S ue tOO!

PEGGy w e n t HOme 2!&

Gone fishing, won't be back till late, gonna catch me a big un, boy I just can't wait

Been trying for years to catch this fish, it's as big as my arm, if not a foot longer, this time i'm gonna win, i'm leaner, fitter and stronger

Hours passed by, not a bite in sight, until the line jerked, i've got it I yelled!!!...and reeled him in with all my might

I raised my line and to my suprise, it was a tiddler on the end, a finger bite size..

'This is not good' I said with a sigh, how can I go back empty handed with just this tiddler, not enough to fill a pie

I headed back home with an empty basket, my dreams of catching the big un, it would of filled a casket

Took me a detour and went to the pub, wanted to quench my thirst to drown my sorrows, no catch, no pike, not even a chub

Still, I thought, a tall tale wouldn't go astray, I'll tell the lads in the local about the one that got away

'Oooh, it was as big as a house I said, I struggled so much I fell in the lake, I was such a mess

By the time I'd finished the story, you'd have thought I cought good old Ness....Or should I say Nessie, the Loch Ness Monster!!!

He wants to do it again, he doesn't know how I feel I'm going insane. What the hell is wrong with him?! He might think that I’m dumb and deaf to let him did it time after time without saying anything.

NO it’s not okay! I won’t take it anymore, though he is my friend and the one I adore, but I have had enough for this thing. Oh my god it’s so frightening! Why do I have to listen to his voice when he sings! (lol)

---

Ref: 'He Thinks' by Pinkpoetress

Watch out all gallant knights
Those red ruby lips
She's all that and a bag of chips
O yes, another Irish maiden..
She'll spin you around with a
whip and heels
Take that in stride
See how that feels..
La rapturecapture

For my working out routine
On bellydancing I am keen!
Can I swivel, can I sway?
Yes, I've got that part, okay.

'Tis my arms that need follow
or this dance shall ring too hollow.
Graceful, lithe and smooth...
I'll eventually find that groove.

I'll strive to keep at it, yes!
Working hard to do my best.
As I'm moving, I do wonder
Should my man come in from yonder
Will he glance at my dance,
will it put him in a trance?

Oh, dear, I do fear!
This distraction I did ponder,
it has made me twirl asunder.
Now in vain's my dream so dear
For I've fallen on my rear....

stand up hair on back of neck
frozen faces of the coldest night
frosted grass going crunch at every step
mountains beauty inside the forest
stream of water falling of a cliff's edge
circling eagle high above
day is descending into the night
breaking branches far away from sight
laying awake under the trees
cloud cover stars brings a rain drop
breaking of branches echos
through the trees scared with fright
can not even move to fight
can see every breath you take
this is gonna be a misserable night
you got a flashlight and want to explore
breaking of branches is moving in
your hearing voices for you think
it's in your head
but you see a shadow and glowing eyes
voices are getting louder
breaking of branches is getting closer
then you hear your name
Cafetwo where are you
it's getting late you missed your diner
the old hag made it nice and hot
just for you

i'm just announcing this publicly

this is your public announcement

Get out of my bed you lazy bum, get out
I have to get rid of you without a doubt
Everyday you sleep all freaking day
When I get home you want to play
Then you wait for me to feed you
Then what do you do
Off for the night God knows where
I'm tired of it and today I swear....
Is the day I put a stop to it all
For months you been riding for a fall
I work my tail off to keep you in style
You are more expensive than a child
But you are never around when I need you
Your attention far betweeen and few
Did I not say GET OUT OF MY BED
If I say it again then you will be dead
Yeah now will you just look at that
I'm gonna kill this spiteful cat

8 Spelling Mistakes Even Smart People Make

English is a screwy language. There’s just no logic to it. Why is daughter pronounced daw-ter, but laughter not law-ter? How can though, through, and tough look so similar and yet sound so different? Why does I come before E except after C? What’s so effing SPECIAL about C?

There are some crimes of confusion—particularly when it comes to spelling—encountered on an almost daily basis.

Such as: 1. YOU’RE and YOUR
If you have no idea when to use which … well, you’re not on your own. This is perhaps the most common mistake of all. Heaven knows why. The distinction is really quite simple:
• You’re is used to substitute the words you are.
• Your is a word you use when referring to something that belongs to the person you’re speaking to. “Your purse,” “your coat,” and so on—and not “Your late!” or “Your wrong!”

2. IT’S and ITS
Close cousins of you’re and your, it’s and its suffer about the same amount of misuse.
• It’s (with an apostrophe) replaces It is or It has. (It’s easy to remember!)
• Its (with no apostrophe) refers to something that belongs to “it.” (Its meaning is clear!)

3. THEY’RE, THEIR, and THERE
Ah, the triple treat … or terror, as the case may be:
• They’re is short for They are.
• Their refers to something that belongs to “them.”
• And there is simply “not here.”
“They’re going to their house, which is over there.”

4. TO and TOO
When you mean overly, please remember to add the extra O—or face the consequences. The author of this article once received a heated text message that was meant to make her angry: “TO BAD!” it shouted in loud, aggressive capitals. The recipient of message ended up in uncontrollable giggles instead. Too bad indeed.

5. LOOSE and LOSE
This one really drives one batty. When what you want to say is the opposite of find, then lose the extra O. Loose (with two o’s) is the opposite of tight.

These little confusions are pretty common. Besides, there are the non-words littering notes, emails … even official business memos. Words like:

6. IRREGARDLESS
Hundreds of people use this word (often with passion!), both in speech and writing, every day—but the truth is, it doesn’t exist! The real word is regardless.

7. ALOT
Anyone who insists this is a word is spouting ALOT of baloney. If you’ve ever written this non-word, what you probably meant was either a lot (meaning “many”) or allot (to ration or allocate).

8. AHOLD
Boy, would I love to get a hold (two words, not one) of the person who decided to just forget the space and make up “ahold new word.”

File cantalach gruama ina shuí faoin ngrian,
Lifetime’s work prostrated on the railings behind him.
Dubliners busily bustling past,
One separates from the passing herd.

“Cheapas go ndeachaigh tusa ar shlí na fírinne blianta ó shin,
but I’ll catch you on the way back”
Me B*llicks
Cuirfeadh sé ionadh ort an méid daoine a bhí “ar tí “ breathnú ar a chuid saothair gach seachtain
Focal mór agus droch chur leis

“Go on, go f*ck off then”, he intoned go searúsach
Ach chun cothrom na féine a ghabhail dó,
dá mbeadh pingin aige i i gcóir gach óinseach a dúirt a leithéid dó
Bheadh saol an mhaide bháin aige

And just last week,
“FIVE NIGHTS, OR NONE”, proclaimed an tUasal Brooks, laying down a challenge
He’ll crawl, swim, fly to Ireland, drop on his knees and beg
Meas tú ?
Really?
Ar mhaithe leis féin a dheineann an cat crónán
Agus an freagra ceannan céanna, freagra an fhile uasail, ag dul dó, is dóigh.