I'm by way of being a sort of writer. If Mr Turner would be kind enough to make me Mrs Turner, I could call myself Paige.
I suppose I could just change my name to Paige Turner without having the whole marriage malarkey but still - if your name is Turner, and you don't mind sharing it, call me? We can iron out the finer details.
Thanks.
How much you loved
How gently you lived
How gracefully you let go of things not meant for you
I was told this was a Buddhism, turns out it isn't but it is a lovely sentiment
Have a great Wednesday
I hate being told I'm jealous. I know I'm possessive. And controlling. And like things to go my way. But jealous? Jealousy is about being unreasonable.
My mother used to tell me I was jealous, and it was a very ugly thing to be. I would look at the gift she had just given my little brother, and at my empty hands, and think hang on a minute.
At work once I worked equally on a project with a colleague, who got all the praise. I whinged to my manager, who said I was being jealous, and it was a very ugly thing to be. Hang on a minute.
I still think that if someone does something that damages my sense of worth it is reasonable to be surprised. Even annoyed. But I guess it is my unreasonable perception of 'damaging to my sense of worth' that defines jealous. It is a very ugly thing to be.
Must try harder.
Another weekend of snow and terrifying temperatures coming up for you lot, hope you are keeping well wrapped up and have laid in plenty of hot chocolate.
Friends of mine in Pittsburgh had a big kiddies birthday party planned for Saturday which will now have to be cancelled. At least freezing the cakes won't be a problem - put them outdoors.
It is cold at the moment in Scotland, but nothing like that. Hope those in the coldest areas are coping
Anyone got suggestions for keeping warm? Rolling up the snow on pathways looks like a good warmer.
When I stopped for a year, my stress levels got hectic. Perfect world, I would smoke 2 or 3 a day and I vigorously defend my right to do just that. This imperfect world, I smoke too many and it would be easier to quit again than cut down.
I AM afraid of becoming one of those ex-smokers who, when you pull out a packet, are worse than atheists realizing they are at a church picnic.
Do you smoke a cigarette, a pipe, cigars, interesting alternatives?
Jack took off his trousers on his wedding day and offered them to Jill to try on. They were far too big.
'I wear the trousers in this relationship' he told her, 'and I always will. I don't want you to forget that.'
Jill removed her knickers and handed them over. 'Try them on.'
They were way too small. 'I can't possibly get into your knickers,' he said, puzzled.
'Exactly,' replied Jill. 'And with that attitude, you never will.'
2. A small boy is sent to bed by his father.
Five minutes later......'Da-ad....'
'What?'
'I'm thirsty. Can you bring a drink of water?'
'No, You had your chance. Lights out.'
Five minutes later: 'Da-aaaad......'
'WHAT?'
'I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??'
' I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to smack you!!'
Five minutes later.......'Daaaa-aaaad.....'
'WHAT!'
'When you come in to smack me, can you bring a drink of water?'
4. One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was
Tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he
Asked with a tremor in his voice, 'Mummy, will you sleep with me
Tonight?'
The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug.
'I can't dear,' she said. 'I have to sleep in Daddy's room.'
A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice:
'That big sissy.'
5. It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the
Children's' sermon.
All the children were invited to come forward.
One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat
Down, the minister leaned over and said, 'That is a very pretty dress.
Is it your Easter Dress?'
The little girl replied, directly into the minister's clip-on
Microphone, 'Yes, and my Mum says it's a b*tch to iron.'
6.. When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year
Old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the
Shower.
She said, 'Mummy, you are getting fat!'
I replied, 'Yes, honey, remember Mummy has a baby growing in her
Tummy.'
'I know,' she replied, but what's growing in your bum?'
8.. One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken
Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken
Little tried to warn the farmer.. She read, '.... And so Chicken Little
Went up to the farmer and said, 'The sky is falling, the sky is
Falling!'
The teacher paused then asked the class, 'And what do you think that
Farmer said?'
One little girl raised her hand and said, 'I think he said:
'Holy Shit! A talking chicken!''
9. A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, I'm Mr.
Sugarbrown's daughter.'
Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, 'I'm Jane
Sugarbrown.'
The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said, 'Aren't you Mr.
Sugarbrown's daughter?'
She replied, 'I thought I was, but mother says I'm not.'
10. A little girl asked her mother, 'Can I go outside and play
with the boys?'
Her mother replied, 'No, you can't play with the boys, they're
too rough.'
The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked,
If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?'
11. A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father.
She stands next to the barber chair, while her dad gets his hair cut,
eating a snack cake The barber says to her,
'Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your muffin..'
She says, 'Yes, I know, and I'm gonna get boobs too.'
Funny, when someone says they have been invited to dinner somewhere I instantly think delicious food, good company, and I turn green because I wasn't invited.
And when people say they have a party to go to I think fun, laughter, music, everyone having a ball. I try to remember why I stopped going to parties.
So, I went to a party last night. Writers, film directors, photographers, that's why I went. About 30 people there, no-one seemed to know anyone else. It was COLD, clustered round terrace heaters, making conversation. Where are you FROM, what do you DO, oh my that's interesting. (Not so much). Have a slice of this pizza, it's good. Have you tried a falafel? Let me top up your wine. No music, just chattering teeth and the hostess chasing pale blue people out the apartment when they tried to get in out the cold.
What is your idea of a GOOD party?
Ever looked at your X and wondered Y?
Well, not so much a link as a joke. Algebra doesn't often make me laugh, but then I'm easily amused.
Don't go! Another joke -
Sex is like maths, it really is. Add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and hope to hell you don't multiply.
Okay I ran out of maths jokes.
I woke myself up this morning, I was laughing so much, after being flirted with outrageously in post after post in my dream version of social media. It felt great. Oh, the guy couldn’t spell for toffee, calling me ekskwizit, for example, but it was such FUN.
I had forgotten that sometimes the point of online social stuff is fun. There can be so much politicking and mumping
and taking ourselves so terribly seriously, I think I’m not the only one who has forgotten.
I have a message in my mailbox I haven’t read yet, and I’m not yet sure whether I even will. I don’t know whether it will be loving or argumentative or even call-it-quits time but I’m 100% sure it won’t be calling me ekskwizit! Whatever it says, VivianLee is leaving CS for a while. Just VivianLee. I’ll be around under another identity because I enjoy the blogs and the polls and I like some of you so much. (Some of you could lighten up a bit, okay?)
Have fun. Have an ekskwizit day. Group hug!
Some days I read through the blogs, skipping the numpties, popping in to see what my favourites have to say, saying little myself, and enjoying CS socials.
Some days, and there is never any warning, I get offended for little or no reason and wham, I'm talking and the feet are kicking themselves to see which one can get into my mouth faster.
Those days I should go away. I'm going now. This blog is just to say sorry if my response on a blog looked abrupt or downright rude. Sorry if I hurt anyone's feelings. Sometimes the fingers are rattling away before the brain is in gear and then too late to hit the brakes, the comment is out there, and it is OTT, because I'm an idiot.
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