It’s Been Awhile
When my husband first died, I visited his grave daily, then weekly, and then, it became just special dates...holidays, his birthday, and our anniversary. I placed a baseball cap at the base of the flower vase, (cut a hole in the middle of it) so, it would fit..It changed with the season..as did the flowers..Bucs, Rays, or Lightning...I purchased a double plot...with his plaque..and a single slab of granite..joined together...where I will one day reside...The slab of granite began cracking..and that is where the flower vase is located..my figuring was when our children visited us..they could place flowers for both of us..Kill two birds with one stone..so to speak. I haven’t been by the cemetery in quite some time..I have since moved further away, and I just did not have the need to, as I once did.My oldest daughter and I met for brunch today, then went by the cemetery to pay our respects. The crack in the granite has grown so big..that the flower vase is now gone...so, we just laid the flowers on the grave. The cemetery was very busy..Lots of sons and daughters stopping by to see Dad.
I still talked to him...told him I was doing well...and, I think he would be proud of our family..and what a fine example he was to our children...We are who we are, in part because of him.
Comments (27)
Interesting to note, both of my parents are gone and share a cracked headstone right at the hole of the flower cup.
The words encapsulated in the way you shared them are testimony in how words can find the writer.
I'm sure that he would want you to carry on, and enjoy your life.
Unfortunately it is certainly temporary.
Enjoy it, while you have the opportunity to do so.
A wonderful tribute to your late husband.
Thank you for the kind words.
I bet your parents set a fine example for you to live by too.
Thanks for the compliment...
I used to write poetry...
I really enjoyed doing that.
My husband was my biggest fan.
You are such a toughie.
I visited because it brought peace to me...and, I did feel guilty when I stopped going..but, I know he is not really there and he would understand...
As for the granite...its not a biggie...I’ll just bring a vase with me, when I stop by to see him.
It has been 11 years...I have lived on..and I am very content with my life.
Thank you for the condolences and for stopping by.
Thanks...
Thanks for your kind words.
We said everything we needed to say to each other while he was sick...I consider myself very lucky to have had the chance to say what needed to be said. I think someone dying tragically and out of the blue would be so much harder to accept and come to terms with.
I hope to never lose someone in that way.
Thank you for your sweet comment..
It is I who owes you an apology..for going off on you in the forums...
Yes, I did have a very good man...Who loved me for who I am..even with all my flaws and bruises...
I am tough to handle at times...He loved that about me...
He was a gentleman...and very even tempered...we truly were each other’s best friend...
I hope one day...you find someone who will treat you well..
I will be honest, I had one relationship since his death...he was verbally abusive and lied..
Then, I talked to another one..same temper..name calling..lies..
I am not sure if I can trust someone..to even have another relationship..
Daily, weekly special occasions but visiting graves does not bring comfort for all, and when not... we have nothing to feel guilty about... yet sometimes we do.
Sorry to hear of your loss Ms Gone
and even them that appear to be coping, are allowed their moments when not...
more so on days like these... Fathers day.
Be kind to one another...and, tell all those who you love...how much they mean to you..
Merc..
It is I who owes you an apology..for going off on you in the forums...
Yes, I did have a very good man...Who loved me for who I am..even with all my flaws and bruises...
I am tough to handle at times...He loved that about me...
He was a gentleman...and very even tempered...we truly were each other’s best friend...
I hope one day...you find someone who will treat you well..
I will be honest, I had one relationship since his death...he was verbally abusive and lied..
Then, I talked to another one..same temper..name calling..lies..
I am not sure if I can trust someone..to even have another relationship..
No need for an apology love..Water under the bridge
This blog reminds me of not so long ago having a conversation with a girlfriend..I said to my friend when I see frail couples holding hands with or without walking sticks it puts a huge smile on my dial..I said wouldn't it be wonderful to grow old with a man..I said it's not like that anymore it's like that time is no longer with us..My friend said like Covid we live in a different world now..I just sighed agreeing with her.
Have never ever come across a man as you first did..Have had a couple of lets downs after my abusive ex..I still have faith in men as friends but unfortunately I now struggle to find faith as far as being in a relationship is concerned..
Thanks again for sharing a wonderful chapter of your life!~
don't be too sure he doesn't.
Thanks for stopping by and the kind words and music.
Blue...
You are always so nice.
Merc..
How in the world do you quote??? I looked all over for the quote button.
Secret...
I believe they know and are able to see us...He sends us dragonflies...when we need them...
I have always admired you for keeping your first husband in your daughter’s life....
I thought I was going crazy..couldn’t find it anywhere. That explains it.
I RAN ACROSS YOUR MATCH PROFILE ABOUT 7 WEEKS AGO. MAYBE YOU ARE FINALLY READY TO TRUST YOUR HEART TO SOMEONE STRONGER THAN YOU. A MAN TO HOLD YOU FOR ONCE AND LET YOU CRY THE HURT AND LONELYNESS AWAY.
SO YOU CSN FEEL LOVED AGAIN. IT WOULD TAKE SUCH A MAN WHO HIMSELF AS LOST THE SPECIAL LOVE TO KNOW THE TRUE ALONENESS THAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH.
BEN . FAITHHOPELOVE195
BE SURE TO GIVE IT TO ME !!! BOTH BARRELS.
He has been gone for 14 years....I have no need to talk about...losing him...
Or giving anyone anything with both barrels...
I am on my own now....
I’m thankful that I had a very healthy and loving marriage.....An all around good person and an amazing father...
I am not interested in meeting anyone on the internet...
Thank you, though.
BEN