loneliness
after being alone for almost 6 years and waging many battles with the loneliness demon i thought i'd finally come to terms with it . . i thought i'd wrestled with it, talked with it, argued with it, and laughed with it enough times that i'd finally beaten it . . one thing i've certainly done is come to know it very well.but it turns out it was just taking a break . . and its back. its not as scary as it used to be . . i dont feel like i need to run away from it . . its more like someone that i just dont want to be around . . an unwelcome relative that makes me feel uncomfortable . . and one that i used to be very ashamed of.
for so long i was ashamed of my loneliness . . god forbid anyone ever found out i was lonely . . . so i didnt tell anyone about it. for years i kept my sad secret. the interesting thing is that when i finally began owning up about it the loneliness began to loosen its grip. maybe it had already began to do that which enabled me to tell people . . but whatever it was the more people i told the better i began to feel and suddenly it wasnt there any longer.
and so for the past little while i've been telling people that i've beaten it . . that i was finally totally happy being alone . . and for a while there i was . . but whaddayakno . . look whos back.
so i'm not going to keep it to myself this time . . i'm not going to be ashamed this time . . i'm going to tell people . . i'm feeling lonely . . I'M FEELING LONELY!! that was me yelling it out . .
and you know what i actually feel a little better already.
Comments (52)
I've felt that way myself. I have my moments. But I welcome it sometimes. It allows me to be alone with my thoughts of self discovery. There's nothing wrong with loneliness....unless you use it against yourself.
i've never blogged before . . so yeah thanks . .
Welcome! ... Look around ... find a chair, coffee perhaps ... maybe wine ... settle in and get to know people around here.
Mostly, you'll see positive feedback and supportive comments ... mostly.
I like Saskia's thought about finding people who inspire you.
Welcome.
Its obvious that your too fussy, and looking for a man full of gold. Plenty of men full of gold, but then they are usually already taken, or have more than one girlfriend.
Thats the problem with you woman.
The lady would have no difficulty finding a man thats for sure, she is gorgeous, she does perhaps although we don't know this yet , have difficulty finding one right for her. Her loneliness might be as a result of her wondering why her choices are so limited , or why her loneliness cannot be cured even if she is with someone . Its too cruel for you to make such brash statements as if you know this lady at all. sorry to say rainbow, i think you are a bit off track here on this occasion . saskia
Its that the best u can think of to say
123
Why do you want to pick on me
My comment may be not for you
Unless for you it's so true
Blog land is a place to natter
So what is said never matters
The subject line matters not
Just
I guess someones been mixing meds with alcohol again
Said what i wanted to say.
So i guess ill be on my way.
Whaddya know i can rhyme too
But never mind
Ngt ngt