Life & death....
Where I work I deal with a lot from the basics of daily living to the passing on of life. Its not always easy. I've seen a lot. I've shed many tears. It breaks my heart when I see some suffer to the end. I know we all will end up in the same place.When I mean suffer....I mean so much pain that even the slighest gentle touch, is too much for them. No position is comfortable for them. They want to go....the pain is unbearable.
Then you have those whose soul dies & they give up. Then the ones who slowly die....physically & mentally/emotionally. I see how the body changes as the time is near. Some go quickly & some hang on. Waiting...for something or someone they want to see.
It amazes me & saddens me that some don't have many visiters...or evn at all. Sometimes the only people they see are the staff. Where are all their loved ones? When their time is near that's when they come. Why now? Why weren't they there when they can visit & be there. All they see is them dying.
There are loved ones there for them, everyday for hours. Some visit everyday for awhile. Some on a weekly basis, some on a monthly basis, some only on the holidays, some only around the xmas season. I'm so happy when I see family & friends there for them.
What makes me sad & makes me cry...is this lady. She's been there before I started working there....over 8yrs. She's never had anyone visit her in all the time she's been there....I've asked so that's how I know.
This is hard to see because she's dying. She's been diagnosed woth untreatble terminal cancer. She's got nobody by her side....to be there when she needs it the most. That would be for me the worst feeling in the world to experience.
The other day I noticed her & almost cried. She sat alone at her table after dinner....for hours with a saddened blank stare. Warching loved ones going back & forth...wishing that someone would visit her & be there. She's all alone.
Comments (15)
However another side to your story---- I have talked to such what I thought lonely souls, and how they looked is not how they felt, they had lived so many years without family and alone there aloneness was them. They just wanted to die without intrusion so it seemed it was my own feeling how I would feel projected on them that I saw.
I do talk witb them when I do get the time. I enjoy their stories. Some have been in choir in their younger years. So at times they'll sing for others....that's if you ask
I've seen so many different ways of passing on....the process. It affects everyone in one way or another. I see them as someones loved one & do the best I possibly can.
So true
I had cardiac arrest over 13 yrs ago and was brought back to life. During my illness my children were there night and day. Lots of friends came. My brother and sisters were there. I was in the hospital for 30 days and I had family there the whole time. I am a very blessed man.
I have visited strangers in nursing homes, hospitals and they are always so very happy for someone to give them attention and listen to them when they talk! God bless everyone throughout the world who is living in solitude! Jim
Things are being done in a way. There are volunteers & companions assigned to some, & there's also recreation. So that helps at times. But sometimes they just want to be alone. What else can be done I'm not sure.
But also if that's not possible for me....I would want to die quickly...if a had a bad accident. I don't want a long, slow & painful death. I would even may donate my organs so someone if there's no chance or recovery....so they have a chance to live.
That's good you visit them I'm sure they appreciate that. I've done that myself I enjoyed it. I enjoy their stories & it brings a smile to their face. They do appreciate visiters. It makes them forget their worries at times.
I remember this lady when I first started. I was preparing snacks & she wanted me to say good night to her. She explained to me & said....maybe its not inportant to you but it means so much for me when its done. So we both said good night & we hugged. The next day I found out she died in her sleep. So every night when I put them to bed I say good night.
To them its the little things that make them better....whether its a good morning, a good night, a hug, someone to listen to them,...a piece of your heart. Alittle goes a long way. Sometimes that's all they got & look forward to. It doesn't always take much but it means the most.
I do wonder how it will be for me sometimes , and just know for myself that i would like my lovely family beside me. I do everything I can to preserve the wonderful relationship we have as a family so that it will be so.
I think for some of us it is important, for some not, but for many at the end there will be regrets , and thats who i feel for, those who did not make good choices in their ives regarding family matters and then end up dying alone.
Saskia
I became friends with this man in a wheel chair at an apartment house I lived in a few years ago. He lived with his son but the son didn't seem all that interested in his dad's condition or problems in getting around. So we became pals and I would haul him around in my pickup with me wherever I went.
He finally got so sick he got put in a rest home where I would visit him. In time I came down with cancer and I couldn't see him for a long time. When I was finally able to I went to see him again he was very sick now. My visits were shorter and further in between. One day I went to see him and his name tag was removed from the door. Dakota had died. His son never contacted me and I was not too happy, but I was glad I was there for him at times.
Right before I left from the last visit and to discuss what had happened to Dakota the CNA asked me why I was there when I was not related to him. I answered that his family never visited him. I don't want to die one day and be like my friend where even his family had abandoned him!