DON'T YOU DARE FOR I HAVE BEEN THERE
you wear a smile, greet people with that everything's wonderful I'm blessed kind of smile, the day ends you head home turn the key as the door opens, the silence is so loud and thoughts of yesterday bombard you, there use to be laughter here there once was hugs and kiss that greeted you at the door warm hellos and beautiful smiles.you sit turn on the television hoping there is something on that will grab your attention and chase those thoughts away, you cant seem to grasp any meaning of what your watching because you do not feel the warm arms ,soft breath beautiful voice of who you wished held you.
your tummy growls you dare not go into the kitchen for thoughts of music chopping vegetables sipping wine laughter and warm sensual kisses loving embraces is what you imagine should be going on in there.
you look around at the emptiness and the feelings of loneliness and despair engulfs you, you hurt so bad thoughts of taking away the pain looms so large but don't you dare this is not how it ends for you, something wonderful special is coming to uplift you,fill your heart with warmth penetrate your very soul.
I tell you the truth I know this all to well I have been there.
Comments (29)
Where had you been??
Oh! some personal nostalgic memories???
I am glad that it is over for you and you can move to Australia for a better and warmer even a hot life.
But ur newborn king must not write me about u, be no coward and do it urself, please!
good morning dear and thank you for the qoute
where have I been, lonely despair wanting wishing waiting feeling like there is nothing for me that's where I been.
and yes this blog is for is written for someone here on cs
I hope you come out of this web...there exists a life beyond the galaxy in sight...you just need to open your eyes!!!!
I import her and she exports me or vice versa.
Take care my dear, I am here for good Leah. Trying to buy a house, I hope..
Write bolgs and poetry at the same time.
It isn't hard for a single irresponsible man like me. I just walk into my little trailer, look to see what time it is and turn the TV or the computer on depending on the time. Then I grab some chocolate chip cookies and a glass of milk and I relax.
It sounds like to me that your remembering what it was like before so you can be ready for what is to come. Good for you. Judging by your writing it appears that Simmo is a very fortunate man!
that's what I mean. But do u have to live in a trailer parc or can u do it on ur own little piece of land?
Guadal,
In California land is very expensive. If you find something "acceptable" it would be remote and the necessities of water and waste removal would be exorbitant to haul in and haul out. For example, you would have to be able to be near a waste dump station and the cost to "dump" is about $20 now for a 30 gallon tank.
But fortunately, California has created low income housing for seniors and this trailer park is one. It is centrally located to many businesses and very reasonable. My rent is $450.00 a month and I pay nothing for electricity and water. My only expense is propane gas.
So, yes, one can find reasonable accommodations and they are pretty much available.
The sound of a silent room can be deafeningly loud with the heartbreak of a vision never fulfilled. Where once the tv that gave you inspiration to conquer the world with new ideas, now sits across the room and mocks you with other people's lives.
Life with the Jetsons has been replaced with so called reality shows that are more stupid than watching mud dry... They use to send people to the moon, now we are forced to watch adults with 3rd grade educations...
So, I think you are right. The people with the biggest smiles are probably the ones hurting the most when the day is over and there's no one to give them a hug or a "well done".
Some times you just need to hold a hand and say nothing.
Being alone sometimes is needed,but have you every just crave for good conversation,warm touch,dont you think about someone else laughing beautifully at your jokes,someone that really accepts you? If you have ever wanted this why did it change?
Lose my self esteem never that,however this blog isn't about me,its a message to a fellow cs blogger.
Yes beautiful friend i am very well,this blog is meant for a friend here on cs
Truely speechless, all we can do is keep sreaching ,and hope that it will happen.
No worries my friend
For the moment it does not mean much more. I thought it might be an option for u to get away from these cold, long winters in Minisoda.
Congrats for conquering such a difficult thing.