How do you measure success in a man ?..question fo

Being able to provide for yourself and your family is a must. But to me this has more to do with the fact that you need to cover your basic needs, as much as your family's needs. But yes, just like you stated in your opening post, people see and measure success differently. So, I may think of you as a successful man because you have a wonderful and a steady job with more than excellent salary; you drive a nice car, have a nice house etc. but you may not feel that way about yourself because what you do everyday when you wake up and go to work has nothing to do with your dreams and wishes. You may want to be in Africa for all that I know... working or volunteering on some developing project for example. Saving the world.
It's more about what the person wants. What I want at the moment, which in fact may differ,vary from day to day, month to month, year to year. I may not want the same things in a year from now, 10, 20... Because we base our goals on our needs and interests - basic needs and others and those change. Priorities change.
In most cases, when people reach those goals, when they did what was needed for them to satisfy their needs and had even more than they ever wanted, they afterwards want something else. They're not satisfied with what they have at the moment. And there you go. You wake up one day and you have what people call middle age crisis. And these days, my friend, middle age crisis hits you early, when you're young in your 20s and... it may continue, like, for life. So being happy in the meantime might be your biggest achievement from that moment on.
I would suggest you to read The Red book from Jung. You'll find it in pdf on internet. It's an interesting read.