I'm a god

The last time I kissed a humanoid female was 5 475 000 years ago (in another time and space); which is a fair amount of time even for me given that I transitioned into this Cosmos almost 16 790 000 years ago. Yes, gods get as lonely as anybody else. What’s that? You want proof that I’m a god. I’d like nothing better than to furnish it but even though I could do it online I would rather not. I have chosen now to reveal my godhood only in person and to select individuals. Of late the criterion to be a select individual has dwindled to having ‘a nice face’. To meet, you need to have: 1) an open mind and not be faint-hearted or faint-minded. Unsurprisingly, a lot of people can’t handle it once I‘ve shown them, and actually exhibit a very strong psychological denial. I don’t force them out of it; I’m not here to harm anyone. 2) You need to learn how to see again. Many humans have the equivalent of scales on their eyes. You need to make yours much less opaque before meeting me. My suggestion is to look at things (trees, flowers, the sky etc.) as if ‘for the first or last time’. Pay attention to your surroundings much more than you would usually. Just don’t pay so much attention that you rear-end someone! 3) If I get so much as a whiff of paparazzi or a crowd eagerly awaiting my appearance, then I’m gone! Part of the proof you will receive is a demonstration of one of my superhuman powers – one that won’t attract any attention, so don’t expect feats of levitation for all to see; it’s going to be more like X-Ray vision.

PS I never said I was God, only a god.