Here is a list of Comedy Blogs ordered by Last Commented, posted by members. A Blog is a journal you may enter about your life, thoughts, interesting experiences, or lessons you've learned. Post an opinion, impart words of wisdom, or talk about something interesting in your day. Update your blog on a regular basis, or just whenever you have something to say. Creating a blog is a good way to share something of yourself with others. Reading blogs is a good way to learn more about others. Click here to post a blog.
where is GOD????????????
...Two little boys aged 8 &10 were extremely mischievous.
They were always getting into trouble and their parents knew all about it.
If any mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are probably involved.
The boy’s mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in disciplining children.
So she asked the preacher if he would speak with her boys.
The preacher agreed. But he asked to see them individually.
So the mother sent the 8 year old first, in the morning.The preacher, a huge man with a booming voice asked the boy sternly…
“Do you know where God is? Son!”
The boy made no response;
just sat there wide eyed with his mouth hanging open.
So the preacher repeated the question in an even sterner voice.
“Where is God?”
Again the boy made no attempt to answer.
The preacher raised his voice even more and now shook his finger in the boys face and bellowed, “Where is God?”
The boy screamed and ran out from the room, directly to his home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him.
When the older brother found him in the closet, he asked, “what happened?”
The younger brother, gasping for breath replied “Brother, we are in big trouble this time….........……”God is missing, and they think we did it! !!!!!!”....
They were always getting into trouble and their parents knew all about it.
If any mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are probably involved.
The boy’s mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in disciplining children.
So she asked the preacher if he would speak with her boys.
The preacher agreed. But he asked to see them individually.
So the mother sent the 8 year old first, in the morning.The preacher, a huge man with a booming voice asked the boy sternly…
“Do you know where God is? Son!”
The boy made no response;
just sat there wide eyed with his mouth hanging open.
So the preacher repeated the question in an even sterner voice.
“Where is God?”
Again the boy made no attempt to answer.
The preacher raised his voice even more and now shook his finger in the boys face and bellowed, “Where is God?”
The boy screamed and ran out from the room, directly to his home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him.
When the older brother found him in the closet, he asked, “what happened?”
The younger brother, gasping for breath replied “Brother, we are in big trouble this time….........……”God is missing, and they think we did it! !!!!!!”....
Cat?
Is South Africa still there? Cat, Bea, Lukeon, Candy, guys???
Okay, I can see Snookums. And Cocheta commented on my blog. But the rest of you guys are keeping extremely quiet. If the bottom end of SA broke off, taking PE with it, I'm assuming someone would have said something. I don't really keep up with world news, but you'd think ...
Okay, I can see Snookums. And Cocheta commented on my blog. But the rest of you guys are keeping extremely quiet. If the bottom end of SA broke off, taking PE with it, I'm assuming someone would have said something. I don't really keep up with world news, but you'd think ...
THE FINAL EXAM
Recent email and too good not to share....
You are going to love this one!
There were four sophomores taking chemistry and all of them had an 'A' so far. These four friends were so confident that the
weekend before finals, they decided to visit some friends and have a big party. They had a great time but, after all the hearty partying, they slept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to Florida State until early Monday morning.
Rather than taking the final then, they decided that after the final they would explain to their professor why they missed it. They said that they visited friends but on the way back they had a flat tire. As a result, they missed the final. The professor agreed they could make up the final the next day. The guys were excited and relieved. They studied that night for the exam.
The next day the Professor placed them in separate rooms and gave them a test booklet. They quickly answered the first problem worth 5 points. Cool, they thought! Each one, in a separate room, thought this was going to be easy ... then they turned the page. On the second page was written...
For 95 points: Which tire? _________
You are going to love this one!
There were four sophomores taking chemistry and all of them had an 'A' so far. These four friends were so confident that the
weekend before finals, they decided to visit some friends and have a big party. They had a great time but, after all the hearty partying, they slept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to Florida State until early Monday morning.
Rather than taking the final then, they decided that after the final they would explain to their professor why they missed it. They said that they visited friends but on the way back they had a flat tire. As a result, they missed the final. The professor agreed they could make up the final the next day. The guys were excited and relieved. They studied that night for the exam.
The next day the Professor placed them in separate rooms and gave them a test booklet. They quickly answered the first problem worth 5 points. Cool, they thought! Each one, in a separate room, thought this was going to be easy ... then they turned the page. On the second page was written...
For 95 points: Which tire? _________
online now!
lol
A new guy in town walks into a bar and reads a sign that hangs over the bar…
FREE BEER! FREE BEER FOR THE PERSON WHO CAN PASS THE TEST! So the guy asks the bartender what the test is.
Bartender replies “Well, first you have to drink that whole gallon of pepper tequila, the WHOLE thing at once and you can’t make a face while doing it.
Second, there’s a ‘gator out back with a sore tooth…you have to remove it with your bare hands.
Third, there’s a woman up-stairs who’s never had an o*gasm. You gotta make things right for her.”
The guy says, “Well, as much as I would love free beer, I won’t do it. You have to be nuts to drink a gallon of pepper tequila and then get crazier from there. Well, as time goes on and the man drinks a few, he asks, “Wherez zat teeqeelah?”
He grabs the gallon of tequilla with both hands, and downs it with a big slurp and tears streaming down his face. Next, he staggers out back and soon all the people inside hear the most frightening roaring and thumping, then silence.
The man staggers back into the bar, his shirt ripped and big scratches all over his body. “Now” he says “Where’s that woman with the sore tooth?”
FREE BEER! FREE BEER FOR THE PERSON WHO CAN PASS THE TEST! So the guy asks the bartender what the test is.
Bartender replies “Well, first you have to drink that whole gallon of pepper tequila, the WHOLE thing at once and you can’t make a face while doing it.
Second, there’s a ‘gator out back with a sore tooth…you have to remove it with your bare hands.
Third, there’s a woman up-stairs who’s never had an o*gasm. You gotta make things right for her.”
The guy says, “Well, as much as I would love free beer, I won’t do it. You have to be nuts to drink a gallon of pepper tequila and then get crazier from there. Well, as time goes on and the man drinks a few, he asks, “Wherez zat teeqeelah?”
He grabs the gallon of tequilla with both hands, and downs it with a big slurp and tears streaming down his face. Next, he staggers out back and soon all the people inside hear the most frightening roaring and thumping, then silence.
The man staggers back into the bar, his shirt ripped and big scratches all over his body. “Now” he says “Where’s that woman with the sore tooth?”
Anxious, Worried, Feeling Guilty...
This is not a good night...
Last chatted to to him at 4AM this morning. He was happy entertaining his friends. Sent me some photos of his old and balding friends and him looking messy and sweaty in front of the bbq grill and drinking. I was glad he was having fun and happy. Didn't hear anything from him since then, didn't reply my messages and calls. It's unusual and now I start to get really worried...I hope it's just hangover...
Trying to relax here...hope your day/night is much much better there.
Last chatted to to him at 4AM this morning. He was happy entertaining his friends. Sent me some photos of his old and balding friends and him looking messy and sweaty in front of the bbq grill and drinking. I was glad he was having fun and happy. Didn't hear anything from him since then, didn't reply my messages and calls. It's unusual and now I start to get really worried...I hope it's just hangover...
Trying to relax here...hope your day/night is much much better there.
King Arthur and the Witch
Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death.
The question?.... What do women really want? Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end. He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: the princess, the priests, the wise men and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer.
Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she would have the answer. But the price would be high; as the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.
The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but he would have to agree to her price first. The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's closest friend!
Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunchbacked and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc. He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life. He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden; but Lancelot, learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur. He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life and the preservation of the Round Table. Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered Arthur's question thus:
What a woman really wants, she answered.... is to be in charge of her own life.
Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and that Arthur's life would be spared. And so it was, the neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom and Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding.
The honeymoon hour approached and Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a sight awaited him. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him on the bed. The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, she would henceforth, be her horrible deformed self only half the time and the beautiful maiden the other half. Which would he prefer? Beautiful during the day.... or night?
Lancelot pondered the predicament. During the day, a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch? Or, would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day, but by night, a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous intimate moments?
What would YOU do?
What Lancelot chose is below. BUT.... make YOUR choice before you scroll down below. OKAY?
Noble Lancelot said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself.
Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time because he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.
Now.... what is the moral to this story?
Scroll down
The moral is.....
If you don't let a woman have her own way....
Things are going to get ugly.
The question?.... What do women really want? Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end. He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: the princess, the priests, the wise men and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer.
Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she would have the answer. But the price would be high; as the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.
The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but he would have to agree to her price first. The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's closest friend!
Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunchbacked and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc. He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life. He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden; but Lancelot, learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur. He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life and the preservation of the Round Table. Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered Arthur's question thus:
What a woman really wants, she answered.... is to be in charge of her own life.
Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and that Arthur's life would be spared. And so it was, the neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom and Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding.
The honeymoon hour approached and Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a sight awaited him. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him on the bed. The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, she would henceforth, be her horrible deformed self only half the time and the beautiful maiden the other half. Which would he prefer? Beautiful during the day.... or night?
Lancelot pondered the predicament. During the day, a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch? Or, would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day, but by night, a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous intimate moments?
What would YOU do?
What Lancelot chose is below. BUT.... make YOUR choice before you scroll down below. OKAY?
Noble Lancelot said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself.
Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time because he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.
Now.... what is the moral to this story?
Scroll down
The moral is.....
If you don't let a woman have her own way....
Things are going to get ugly.
women first impression..part 2..
Candykiss46... no kisses from this South African Beauty...should rename Candycrush...cross this lady and out comes Apartheid all over again..once you had black you never look back..
Although if i'm honest..i have a soft spot for this caucasian..just don't tell anyone else..OK ?
Dreamcathcer 69...not 99 as she states..this buxom woman is in need of a good routing...always sexually active..but no man around to embrace those wonderful bangers...come on boys..get suffocated.
loopyloulou77..American..WHAT! i'm canadian..curvy in all the right places..another Usher..wont say a bad word..when she's wearing glasses ,she turns into some really hot chick...mind the wig
Jenny peony... no one really knows if this is a real person or not...many dresses and photoshop adjusted photos later...I think she is just a talking doll.
GrannyCincy...a granny you just wanna take home to meet your wife...cuddly cute and a little treasure..however she did attend one of Calypso duo gig's at Whitby's old people home..in this profile photo she is seen showing her appreciation for the crap music..that is the actual bottle that was launched at calls right eye....
bella 2234...met one, you met them all..don't be taken by their beauty..when they hit 50...all down hill..
my first impressions of women on here....
Crazy fart38....tends to talk crap most of the time, sensitive..disappears a lot when provoked for some quiet time..has a repulsive flatulence problem, and here in this profile photo she is giving some advice to another poor male soul.
Titania48....a fairy from a charles dickens play...the heart of an angel..the wisdom of an owl....sex drive of a rabbit on viagra...you get this lady in bed and not only will it be your best...she teach you your ABC's
Blusher123..sri lanken beauty,although this photo doesn't really show her at her best, that cares for everyone...no malice..no hatred...a real catch.
Witchy itch....looks deceive with this one..although to the point she's a sensitive little bugger...soft heart but builds walls for protection..oh and guys...you better build some protection around your a**..if you upset this one..that stick is going straight up it...
Calypso51...was part of an unknown UK pop duo doing the rounds up north in old people homes,that never ready made it in the charts..in the end they were so bad she had to leave the UK and live in Switzerland where she can live her life as a dreamer..she still tends to hide herself so no one recognizes her by combing her hair to cover half of the face..but really its a scar where a disgruntled OAP chucked a bottle at her..
Armouredthen...This one tells everyone she is from Indonesia..I say malyasia..she says tomatoes..I say tomatoes..same difference...Sharp to the point but once you get through that amour...another softy waiting to get you in sack for a good old routey tout.
Piece of cake...new comer to the scene..cake is supposed to be sweet..first impression...needs more sugar to be able to enjoy this cake...
A Blog is a journal you may enter about your life, your thoughts, interesting experiences, or lessons you have learned. It's your own page on Connecting Singles that you can update on a regular basis, or just whenever you have something to say. You can write about an opinion, impart words of wisdom, or talk about something interesting in your day. Creating a blog is a good way to share something of yourself with Connecting Singles members. Reading blogs is a good way to learn more about members you have met here. Please be sure to read the blog rules before posting.
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