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Hippo Eats Dwarf

This is not intended for those who comment without reading the entire blog or those lacking a sense of humor. And those with an inflated sense of patriotism better stop here as well.

To the government of the former Republic of South Africa from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II:

Due to your continued failure to financially support yourselves and your complete failure to elect competent Presidents, you are declared unfit to govern yourselves. We hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following will be implemented with immediate effect

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all provinces except for the district of Magersfontein, which still leaves a foul taste in her mouth. Those not willing to accept British rule will be banished to Magersfontein.

In future, the ‘Boer War’ will be referred to as the ‘Boer Rebellion’. All statues of the rebel leaders and generals will be incarcerated on Robben Island, which will henceforth be known as ‘Boerasic Park’. The space vacated by such statues will be filled with statues of Sir Redvers Buller, Lord Kitchener, Lord Roberts, and the likes of them.

Your national flag, which resembles a beach towel, will be replaced by the Union Jack. Your parliament is disbanded with immediate effect. Her Majesty has appointed Peter Hain as Governor for South Africa. He will arrive shortly and there will be no need for further elections. This should not change the schedules of most MPs because they never attend any parliament sessions in any way.

Using South African slang, like ‘ja’, ‘kak’, lekka’ and so forth, is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as South African English. Having a multitude of official languages (as you have) is confusing and English will be the only recognised language. All street and town names that were changed after 1910, will revert back to the original British names. Your public holidays will all be replaced with British public holidays.

You must tell us what happened to the Kruger millions. It is driving us crazy. An internal revenue agent (tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will join you shortly to ensure the gathering of all monies due to the Crown. This will be backdated to the formation of your, now defunct, republic.

The former RSA will adopt the British currency and the ZAR will be useless paper only fit to play monopoly (not that it is worth much more as it stands now). No compensation will be paid for losses incurred by the switch of currency. You will seize to import inferior products from the East. As of now, all imports will be only from the United Kingdom. UK prices on petrol will come into immediate effect.

Duels are forbidden. You will learn to resolve differences without using guns, spears, or any other traditional weapons. Your need for weapons to resolve issues shows that you're not ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for hunting. If you can't sort things out without shooting someone, then you're not ready to hunt. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a peashooter. You will require a license if you wish to carry a peashooter in public.

God Save the Queen!


A very happy St Valentine's day to all you sweet dolls out there.

The other night a I met my friend for dinner at a very trendy up scale place. We are sitting at the bar for a drink before dinner and there are these 3 men not far from us. There are wearing suits and look like professional, mid 30's. As they are leaving the one guys says, " the reason I'm so small down there is..." and that's all we heard! My friend and I looked at each other and laughed so hard! What guy would tell his colleagues about "his size" and what would be the reason why?

Robert always has these fantastic romantic episodes that always seem to have him left leaving with his tail between his legs at the end. I know how he feels. That is what I told myself a couple hours ago.

Okay, I will try my hand at story telling.

Dark out. The roads were winding and just me, myself, and I in my old pick up truck with dim lights. It is early spring the roads are clear but there is still snow on the ground. Listening to the radio on this long desolate road I have never been down before, a sharp corner arrives out of nowhere. I crank the wheel as sharp as I can get it, but yet, I see the edge of the road nearing and ultimately I come to a stop out in the middle of a country side field. ...just dark everywhere.

Luckily the truck still runs and drives and I begin to navigate the dark field hoping I do not lose sight of the road that I am trying to find a path to. There is this small hill I crest when I see a very tiny road leading in the direction I need to go in order to make it back on that dark road. There is a very old farm house, it looks abandoned with many small silver grey sun soaked wooden buildings.

I go down the hill and am nearing where my destination dark road is when the tiny road finally narrows to nothing...to just a small path that my truck will not fit through. I get out to walk through this path leading through some meticulously pruned shrubs. To find a beautiful European blond lady entering from the opposite side.

She must live here...she will be freaked to see me coming from her property. Not so. She was un-phased. I explain to her my situation. There was something about her...a look in her eye I noticed. We make it back to the truck and we both jump in and right away and out of nowhere I gave her a kiss. She was very receptive...and felt I needed to apologize explaining to her how I felt compelled to do that.

She explains to me that we need to go back the way I came in, up the hill. We turn around and start our way up the hill only to get up half way. We spin out with the snow. She explains how we need to pack down a trail first and keep attempting our way up the hill until we make it to the top. Now, working on our fifth attempt up the hill and talking about children, I turn to see her completely naked.

As I begin to suckle her and making it downward....and getting my first taste of her...I wake up.

Now I know what Robert feels like.

I Am In A Wonder At The Thinking Of Human Beings...Those That Are Dead Set Against Donald Trump Are Very Vocal About What They Dont Like About Him...Hes This And Hes That..I Read Stuff Such As.."If He Becomes President..Im Leaving The Country"
Well Thats Good...Because It Will Be Less Liberal Communists We Will Have In The USA
And Then There Are Those Who Are Going A Step Further
They Are Going To Leave Planet Earth Altogether...(That A Minus For The Poor Solar System)
But None Of These People Say Anything Negative About Hillary Clinton(After All...One Of The Two Will Be The Next President)
Heres A Liberal Communist...Who...Is Responsible For The American Deaths In Benghazi Libya...She Told Everybody That It Was A Terrorist Action(Even The President Of Egypt Was Told This By Her)
But Her And Obama Told The American Public It Was Because Of A Video(A Story That Was Proven To Be A Lie)
At The Benghazi Hearings..About The Deaths of The Americans There...She Exclaimed In A Rather Loud Tone..."What Difference..At This Point..Does It Make!"(Tell That To The Families Of The Dead Americans)
Here Is A Woman That Will Shut The Coal Mines Down If She Becomes President(And Put People Out Of Work)
Here Is A Woman...That... While Secretary Of State...Has Received Millions Of Dollars In Donations...From Countries That Have Sharia Law... Where Women Have No Rights Whatsoever
(Yet She A Champion Of Womens Rights?)
And Here Is a Woman Who... Quite Possibly.... Has Let Top Secret Info Out To Our Enemies Because She Violated The Laws And Jeopardized American Security With her Private Server(The Actions And Ramifications Of This..Are Yet To Be Seen)
And Here Is A Woman Who Is Being Investigated By The FBI And Could Yet Be Indicted
The Facts Speak For Themselves
But The Liberal Communist Mind Doesnt Want To Talk About The Facts..Nor The Truth...It Cant...It Hasnt The Capacity To Do So
Only The Mind Of A True American... Has The Capacity To Understand These Writings
Ill Take Donald Trump Any Day Over ...."This Piece Of Work"

As one Calypso would say..."Time to shake up the blogs just a liitle bit"....Its been getting real boring....So I must ask..."Why is it that Liberals have this way of thinking that no matter if the other side is right...They are still wrong?...And why as for example If theres supposedly gang Rape(as there was a while back) and then its found out that it was all a Fabrication..that they will say..."Well if they couldve ..They wouldve"..This a sick way of thinking...You can throw the truth in their Faces and they will still argue you to death that 1 and 1 is 3...Im so Glad Im not a Liberal(Communist)..And the Liberals are bent on Destroying the USA....(Ive got myself braced for the "Liberal" on Slaught)....Im ready for my fair share of Abuse and to show you who dont believe that Liberals have a few screws loose..that they do......Come one come all...............

why is it when you need to pop into the house to get something for what you doing in the garden, and you scrape your shoes on the wire scraper, and then on the washable mat, until nothing is coming away, they are spotless ...


why is it within 2 steps you are leading clods of mud over the lino and the carpet?






Garden is definitely looking better. Kitchen lino and carpet are now in dire need of TLC.

Second page comments:
We've headed into UK Brexit and Remain comments at the end. For now, anyway.

Change of subject, anyone?

Somethings , to Lighten up the Mood !!

For a wee lass - who's a wee bit Irish...

Food for thought...

For what it's worth, it's never too late to be whoever you want to be. I hope you live a life you're proud of, and if you find that you're not, I hope you have the strength to start over.

F. Scott Fitzgerald.