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Manifesto of an average guy in his mid-20's
I'm nearly 26 and over the past few years it's been getting harder for me to meet women. My mid 20's so far feels like nothing more than a transitory phase; I once read that whilst the body goes through physical puberty in the teens, the mind goes through a sort of emotional puberty in the mid-20's. That's exactly what it feels like: not just blindly stumbling anymore but placing logical steps so as not just to fall into a relationship, but to make sure it fits who I am as a person. And for a person who's had a lot of things to sort out over the past few years, and feeling somewhat like a completely different person to who I was in the past, I'm not sure what it is exactly that fits who I am. It's just like starting from the beginning again, except instead of being driven by lust and running into the dark headfirst, I'm being driven by something I'm not quite sure of...and I'm still running into the dark headfirst.
In hindsight, lust has been overcome simply to be replaced by whatever the next step on the ladder is. It's a bit nerve-wracking when I consider I was never really that successful with women in the first place. My first relationship was a long-term one and after that I've seen a few other women for a few months at a time but nothing serious since that first relationship, which was about 5 or 6 years ago. I've spent the majority of my time single.
The bad thing about lust is, it's just that. It's instinct. When you're a bit younger that's all there really is and a lot of things that come into the foreground a bit later like a person's real personality, well, they're still in the background at that stage. I consider myself extremely lucky to have had the women I've had and that's about it. It boils down to luck and that started to decline a few years back. I was making do, then I was struggling and now I'm out of the game completely. My love-life based on lust is officially over.
So when your luck dries out you start to question: if I can no longer count on whatever it was that those women saw in me, what can I count on now? What is my real personality in terms of being able to love someone? This is, to me, the essence of the emotional puberty. In the early years of dating you crash headlong into everything. You go out to popular places, you think you're the biggest fish out there and you try just about every stereotype on you think will work with women. However, once you start growing mentally and you realise you're not the biggest fish in the sea, but just one in six billion people, your perspective changes. You lose your ego and it's replaced by something far more mature: your real personality. It's a nice, settling change not to have to 'act' like someone but in a way, it's some scary stuff as well.
You look at yourself honestly and you see your flaws. You realise that charisma just isn't going to cut it in covering up these flaws and you actually have to put some effort into changing. You may find that your charisma worked on younger women but now you're dealing with someone who may also be growing emotionally, it just doesn't have the same effect, or it does the opposite by turning women off. You look in the mirror and you start to panic because without ego, you realise that the latest fashions don't make you look hip and trendy, which leaves you with how you really look. New things grow inside you all the time and you start to question your old values. You feel outdated and you wonder how you can feel brand new again.
The only real answer to this is that you have to work on yourself. No more crashing through things. All the damage you've caused you have to repair and after all that hard work, you have to have the good grace not to expect anything in return for it. After all, it's a bit unfair to assume that just one in six billion is going to be rewarded when so many other people do exactly the same thing every day =)
In hindsight, lust has been overcome simply to be replaced by whatever the next step on the ladder is. It's a bit nerve-wracking when I consider I was never really that successful with women in the first place. My first relationship was a long-term one and after that I've seen a few other women for a few months at a time but nothing serious since that first relationship, which was about 5 or 6 years ago. I've spent the majority of my time single.
The bad thing about lust is, it's just that. It's instinct. When you're a bit younger that's all there really is and a lot of things that come into the foreground a bit later like a person's real personality, well, they're still in the background at that stage. I consider myself extremely lucky to have had the women I've had and that's about it. It boils down to luck and that started to decline a few years back. I was making do, then I was struggling and now I'm out of the game completely. My love-life based on lust is officially over.
So when your luck dries out you start to question: if I can no longer count on whatever it was that those women saw in me, what can I count on now? What is my real personality in terms of being able to love someone? This is, to me, the essence of the emotional puberty. In the early years of dating you crash headlong into everything. You go out to popular places, you think you're the biggest fish out there and you try just about every stereotype on you think will work with women. However, once you start growing mentally and you realise you're not the biggest fish in the sea, but just one in six billion people, your perspective changes. You lose your ego and it's replaced by something far more mature: your real personality. It's a nice, settling change not to have to 'act' like someone but in a way, it's some scary stuff as well.
You look at yourself honestly and you see your flaws. You realise that charisma just isn't going to cut it in covering up these flaws and you actually have to put some effort into changing. You may find that your charisma worked on younger women but now you're dealing with someone who may also be growing emotionally, it just doesn't have the same effect, or it does the opposite by turning women off. You look in the mirror and you start to panic because without ego, you realise that the latest fashions don't make you look hip and trendy, which leaves you with how you really look. New things grow inside you all the time and you start to question your old values. You feel outdated and you wonder how you can feel brand new again.
The only real answer to this is that you have to work on yourself. No more crashing through things. All the damage you've caused you have to repair and after all that hard work, you have to have the good grace not to expect anything in return for it. After all, it's a bit unfair to assume that just one in six billion is going to be rewarded when so many other people do exactly the same thing every day =)
Is the season for lychees now
Lychee is Asian friut, and in china just south china have lychee,today i find lot of lychee in supermarket, i can eat 1KG by once:) really like it!
why so hard
you know i've been single for a year now i remember getting up in the morning cooking drinking coffee and being with that speacail person and other things as well like going grocery shopping i am out now alone and i see couples every where together doing there thing and why is it that i feel a tug at my heart and i want to be that person who is walking next to my man i thinks its beacause my soulmate is still some place out there and well im on the way to give up on this altogther but i must make one last plea if you are out there i am here waiting and my love is true my heart full of the stuff that will keep us going for the years to come as we grow old together and my life is open to who ever and how ever you may be i will be here waiting always i will love you for as long as you need me to and i will stand by you in what ever it is you want to do i will be honest with you and faithful so i wish every one all the best in the world and i hope you all find who it is that will make you happy and feel love that maybe you never have before !!!oh and you have a super day today bye bye!!!!
5/30/10
Liberty Senanayake
5/30/10
Liberty Senanayake
wishes
just wishing everyone to have a wonderful day today
Vanity Fair and City III (53)
Being addicted to the wrong love is just like being addicted to the drug or alcohol. Not easy to quit. But finally, it may turn out to be an illusion or a memory.
Once, I lied that I would go to a blind date with a son of the land agent. He gave me best wishes ironically: “Come on! He is rich you must catch him!”
To my surprise, I made a confession immediately: “No, it was just a joke. I don’t want to catch a rich man. I want to find somebody who is as poor as me, and then we can trust each other, support each other and strive for the good life and good future together.”
Then I introduced Melanie to him. “She was born in a rich family. Her family has a splendid house and a modern car in Guangzhou. She needs a handsome boyfriend like you. Are you interested in her?”
“Wow! That will shorten the years to strive for a house and a car!” He claimed.
I pricked up my ears and asked as cautious as possible: “Would you want her phone number?”
“No, thanks.” He made a confession immediately. “I don’t want to catch a rich girl!”
“That’s right.” I was glad to hear that.
“I wish I can find the right feeling.” He said.
“What is it?” I might know what he wanted to say, but I just pretended to know nothing.
“That is, can trust each other, support each other and strive for the good life and good future together.”
He stole my words. But I don’t mind. He is good at doing, but not good at saying. From his blog, I can see that there are some grammar mistakes or wrong words. Oh how terrible. But at least, he is good at doing, and doing is more important than saying. A wise man once said: “Judge guys by their actions, not by their words.”
“Yes, that kind of relationship can last for longer time.” I agreed.
“Wait, it is Last For Ever.” He corrected me.
I know it is more like a drug or alcohol, but I just can’t quit, even though it is just the illusion or a memory.
Yea, the illusion or memory. Haven’t seen him for ages. Maybe I was wrong at the first beginning. I shouldn’t go to other city alone, and leave him so far away. Now what is in my brain is just the illusion. And have done a quiz and it shows that I am just a memory in the eyes of the old flame.
And days will only roll on and on. Once, I said he looks like my father, and he kept asking me to send him one or two of my father’s photos. He said he wanted to know how he looked like 20 years later. Later one friend sent me a link to a website which can show how you look like in 20 years later. I sent it to him.
I sent him the photo about how I looked like in 20 years later, which is predicted by that website, and then he sent me his. Well, 20 years, it is a long long time. But we have known each other for nearly 10 years, so 20 years is not as long as imagine. Well, 20 years later, according to that website, I will look younger than my real age, but him, from the photo he sent to me, I find that no matter how handsome he is now, he will look so old in 20 years later.
We laughed. Now matter how young we are now or how old we will be in 20 years later, we just face it objectively and positively. Nobody can avoid it. Life is limited and youth is short. The key is, we share some previous moments together, even though we are in our own separate city, far away.
And the problem is, while distance creates beauty, it also creates illusion.
Once, I lied that I would go to a blind date with a son of the land agent. He gave me best wishes ironically: “Come on! He is rich you must catch him!”
To my surprise, I made a confession immediately: “No, it was just a joke. I don’t want to catch a rich man. I want to find somebody who is as poor as me, and then we can trust each other, support each other and strive for the good life and good future together.”
Then I introduced Melanie to him. “She was born in a rich family. Her family has a splendid house and a modern car in Guangzhou. She needs a handsome boyfriend like you. Are you interested in her?”
“Wow! That will shorten the years to strive for a house and a car!” He claimed.
I pricked up my ears and asked as cautious as possible: “Would you want her phone number?”
“No, thanks.” He made a confession immediately. “I don’t want to catch a rich girl!”
“That’s right.” I was glad to hear that.
“I wish I can find the right feeling.” He said.
“What is it?” I might know what he wanted to say, but I just pretended to know nothing.
“That is, can trust each other, support each other and strive for the good life and good future together.”
He stole my words. But I don’t mind. He is good at doing, but not good at saying. From his blog, I can see that there are some grammar mistakes or wrong words. Oh how terrible. But at least, he is good at doing, and doing is more important than saying. A wise man once said: “Judge guys by their actions, not by their words.”
“Yes, that kind of relationship can last for longer time.” I agreed.
“Wait, it is Last For Ever.” He corrected me.
I know it is more like a drug or alcohol, but I just can’t quit, even though it is just the illusion or a memory.
Yea, the illusion or memory. Haven’t seen him for ages. Maybe I was wrong at the first beginning. I shouldn’t go to other city alone, and leave him so far away. Now what is in my brain is just the illusion. And have done a quiz and it shows that I am just a memory in the eyes of the old flame.
And days will only roll on and on. Once, I said he looks like my father, and he kept asking me to send him one or two of my father’s photos. He said he wanted to know how he looked like 20 years later. Later one friend sent me a link to a website which can show how you look like in 20 years later. I sent it to him.
I sent him the photo about how I looked like in 20 years later, which is predicted by that website, and then he sent me his. Well, 20 years, it is a long long time. But we have known each other for nearly 10 years, so 20 years is not as long as imagine. Well, 20 years later, according to that website, I will look younger than my real age, but him, from the photo he sent to me, I find that no matter how handsome he is now, he will look so old in 20 years later.
We laughed. Now matter how young we are now or how old we will be in 20 years later, we just face it objectively and positively. Nobody can avoid it. Life is limited and youth is short. The key is, we share some previous moments together, even though we are in our own separate city, far away.
And the problem is, while distance creates beauty, it also creates illusion.
Twilight...annoying or interesting?
What is the deal with everyone and the obsession with these books and movies? Am I missing something here? 
Never read the books but so many people have tried to cram these books down my throat...even the ones who claim to never have wanted to read a "tween" love story.
Since I pretty much watch alot of movies, this so happened to be one of the few I haven't rented from my netflix queue yet....so, I think I watched about 40 mins of the New Moon before I lost all interest and ended up here blogging about it...
P.S. That girl Kristen Stewart is adorable but my god the woman cannot act very well. Pretty sure her and Keanu Reeves would make a rather dry film together, because I think they both have only mastered one facial expression and monotone voice...
anway, I think I will return the book to my friend who has been trying to force me to read it, and the rest of this unwatched movie back in the mailbox.......the first movie wasnt all bad but this movie has really made me question the sanity of the millions of people who are swooning over these stories!!
Never read the books but so many people have tried to cram these books down my throat...even the ones who claim to never have wanted to read a "tween" love story.
Since I pretty much watch alot of movies, this so happened to be one of the few I haven't rented from my netflix queue yet....so, I think I watched about 40 mins of the New Moon before I lost all interest and ended up here blogging about it...
P.S. That girl Kristen Stewart is adorable but my god the woman cannot act very well. Pretty sure her and Keanu Reeves would make a rather dry film together, because I think they both have only mastered one facial expression and monotone voice...
anway, I think I will return the book to my friend who has been trying to force me to read it, and the rest of this unwatched movie back in the mailbox.......the first movie wasnt all bad but this movie has really made me question the sanity of the millions of people who are swooning over these stories!!
Ugh!!
Why is it that guys, for the most part, seem to want only one thing from a girl? Or the opposite, they wanna control her every second... Why does it have to be so hard to just fall in love and be happy? I know I am not the most attractive person in the world, but I have a good personality, am down to earth, and am intelligent. Why does it seem like their is no one out there for me but users or stalkers? What happened to all the good guys??
look for companion
i am looking or life partenr from any part of the world.
MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND!!
It was Mother's Day weekend, since the last time I wrote a blog...After my prolific expoundings on my views, there were a few who responded..
But this weekend signifies, one of the greatest weekends we can conjure...A TIME FOR REMEMBRANCE... Acknowledgement and understanding for those that that have gone on before.. War, disease, genetics,it should all be part of our remembrance..
THOSE THAT HAVE GONE ON BEFORE..
I put it to all of you, a loved one, a member of the Armed Forces, who gave their lives for our country.. A Mom, A Dad, brother, sister, remember them with love and the dignity they deserve, for this their time...!!!
May God bless you all...!!
Senteddy
05/29/2010
But this weekend signifies, one of the greatest weekends we can conjure...A TIME FOR REMEMBRANCE... Acknowledgement and understanding for those that that have gone on before.. War, disease, genetics,it should all be part of our remembrance..
THOSE THAT HAVE GONE ON BEFORE..
I put it to all of you, a loved one, a member of the Armed Forces, who gave their lives for our country.. A Mom, A Dad, brother, sister, remember them with love and the dignity they deserve, for this their time...!!!
May God bless you all...!!
Senteddy
05/29/2010
While watching the HORROR on T.V.
Home Of The Brave
I'm stunned, I'm shocked
I want to scream out loud
How could you do this
How could this be allowed
My Love and Faith are truly yours
Please be careful Father
We can't take much more
How could you send us
This terror in a wave
To the Place that we know as
"THE HOME OF THE BRAVE"
You have your reasons
Yes our books are written
The pieces of your puzzle
I'm having a hard time fitin'
God bless your spirits
Who died that day
God bless us all
And make everything O.K.
William Luciano
Copyright ©2001
I was blessed with the ability to put these few words together. When I was done I felt relief and wanted to share these words with everyone that I met. Being originally from New York I sat and watched as the planes hit one after the other in shock. So here goes. If you can appreciate these few words please let me know. I can be reached at mets1986us@yahoo.com.
Oh by the way my name is Bill it was nice to spend this time together.
God Bless and have a Great Week.
I'm stunned, I'm shocked
I want to scream out loud
How could you do this
How could this be allowed
My Love and Faith are truly yours
Please be careful Father
We can't take much more
How could you send us
This terror in a wave
To the Place that we know as
"THE HOME OF THE BRAVE"
You have your reasons
Yes our books are written
The pieces of your puzzle
I'm having a hard time fitin'
God bless your spirits
Who died that day
God bless us all
And make everything O.K.
William Luciano
Copyright ©2001
I was blessed with the ability to put these few words together. When I was done I felt relief and wanted to share these words with everyone that I met. Being originally from New York I sat and watched as the planes hit one after the other in shock. So here goes. If you can appreciate these few words please let me know. I can be reached at mets1986us@yahoo.com.
Oh by the way my name is Bill it was nice to spend this time together.
God Bless and have a Great Week.
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