my date walked away (342)
I have no doubt that you were the innocent party here.
If you were polite, then the woman clearly has no finesse and not only is she not bothered about how you look in public but she evidently isn't bothered about how she looks either! They do exist, yes. She was obviously baiting you for a reaction and she got it, I wouldn't have given her the satisfaction, to be frank. There are times when one can, and should, rise above that type of behaviour. You, therefore, maintain the moral high ground and, in turn, it shows some intelligence (which she undoubtedly didn't).
Your date wouldn't have been bothered about who was at fault. He didn't know you well and you never get a second chance to make a first impression. All he saw was a contentious situation on a first date......
Perhaps HE should've asked for the chair for you but this is where I sympathise with men these days. They are often between a rock and a hard place. Women are so much more independent and self-sufficient that they are unsure about the "chivalry" bit. Some women have been known to react with something like "I can do it for myself, thank you".... getting a measure of what type of woman you are would only come with time.
Its sad it went pear-shaped for you, love, but good luck with the one who is truly meant for you.
If you were polite, then the woman clearly has no finesse and not only is she not bothered about how you look in public but she evidently isn't bothered about how she looks either! They do exist, yes. She was obviously baiting you for a reaction and she got it, I wouldn't have given her the satisfaction, to be frank. There are times when one can, and should, rise above that type of behaviour. You, therefore, maintain the moral high ground and, in turn, it shows some intelligence (which she undoubtedly didn't).
Your date wouldn't have been bothered about who was at fault. He didn't know you well and you never get a second chance to make a first impression. All he saw was a contentious situation on a first date......
Perhaps HE should've asked for the chair for you but this is where I sympathise with men these days. They are often between a rock and a hard place. Women are so much more independent and self-sufficient that they are unsure about the "chivalry" bit. Some women have been known to react with something like "I can do it for myself, thank you".... getting a measure of what type of woman you are would only come with time.
Its sad it went pear-shaped for you, love, but good luck with the one who is truly meant for you.
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I would never analyze these things too much. You never know what they are thinking or what is behind it all.Plus fate has such a say too.
If their was no such thing as fate then how come in a different setting and on a different day then that someone could well have seen you in a different light?
How many of us have felt too uncomfortable in a situation to give the impression we would like too just because we had to be there?
That is fate is it not?
If their was no such thing as fate then how come in a different setting and on a different day then that someone could well have seen you in a different light?
How many of us have felt too uncomfortable in a situation to give the impression we would like too just because we had to be there?
That is fate is it not?
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ColonelBogey: I would never analyze these things too much. You never know what they are thinking or what is behind it all.Plus fate has such a say too.
If their was no such thing as fate then how come in a different setting and on a different day then that someone could well have seen you in a different light?
How many of us have felt too uncomfortable in a situation to give the impression we would like too just because we had to be there?
That is fate is it not?
I don't quite understand this. Will you explain? If their was no such thing as fate then how come in a different setting and on a different day then that someone could well have seen you in a different light?
How many of us have felt too uncomfortable in a situation to give the impression we would like too just because we had to be there?
That is fate is it not?
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Sorry but why would a guy that you are first trying to get to know want to be with someone who on their first date is already showing some anger issues and drama.
He was kind to you; I would have left right then and there. You need to work on your attitude.
Why would he stand up for you? he doesn't know you and is trying to get to know you and if I saw it I would think all of you were immature and psycho to be so out of control with your emotions.
You are very demanding thinking some new guy is going to be your knight in shining armor. I'd worry more on how you handle people.
He acted with class and was appropriate; you didnt.
He was kind to you; I would have left right then and there. You need to work on your attitude.
Why would he stand up for you? he doesn't know you and is trying to get to know you and if I saw it I would think all of you were immature and psycho to be so out of control with your emotions.
You are very demanding thinking some new guy is going to be your knight in shining armor. I'd worry more on how you handle people.
He acted with class and was appropriate; you didnt.
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carenza: so,
here is something new to put down to experience.
I had a date last thursday. In my city, shops are open untill 2100 pm on thursday.
I had a date, first time, guy I met in real life.
we went for something to eat in the city.
it was crowded and I had a few words with a woman about a seat in the restaurant.
she became very ugly towards me....I shall spare you details but in short, I told her to get lost and turned my back at her and her friends. the rest of our time in the restaurant, she kept attacking me verbally........and what did my date do?
sat quietly, ate his meal with the speed of light, kissed farewell and walked away.
texting me he had a nice evening out but was not interested.
the knight had rusty armour and his horse was terminal I guess.
what a bummer.....not even one word to stand up for me...
I wonder if there is any hope left...
here is something new to put down to experience.
I had a date last thursday. In my city, shops are open untill 2100 pm on thursday.
I had a date, first time, guy I met in real life.
we went for something to eat in the city.
it was crowded and I had a few words with a woman about a seat in the restaurant.
she became very ugly towards me....I shall spare you details but in short, I told her to get lost and turned my back at her and her friends. the rest of our time in the restaurant, she kept attacking me verbally........and what did my date do?
sat quietly, ate his meal with the speed of light, kissed farewell and walked away.
texting me he had a nice evening out but was not interested.
the knight had rusty armour and his horse was terminal I guess.
what a bummer.....not even one word to stand up for me...
I wonder if there is any hope left...
An awkward situation...I would have been tempted to encourage my date to leave with me and eat somewhere else before it got ugly. Sorry it turned out that way.
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mjames: Sorry but why would a guy that you are first trying to get to know want to be with someone who on their first date is already showing some anger issues and drama.
He was kind to you; I would have left right then and there. You need to work on your attitude.
Why would he stand up for you? he doesn't know you and is trying to get to know you and if I saw it I would think all of you were immature and psycho to be so out of control with your emotions.
You are very demanding thinking some new guy is going to be your knight in shining armor. I'd worry more on how you handle people.
He acted with class and was appropriate; you didnt.
He was kind to you; I would have left right then and there. You need to work on your attitude.
Why would he stand up for you? he doesn't know you and is trying to get to know you and if I saw it I would think all of you were immature and psycho to be so out of control with your emotions.
You are very demanding thinking some new guy is going to be your knight in shining armor. I'd worry more on how you handle people.
He acted with class and was appropriate; you didnt.
have you read the whole thread at all?
I have not been agressive myself at all....I just asked for an empty chair.
did not get it, and turned my back to that woman.
she remained agressive to me. that 'classy guy' I was with, did not stand up for ME, the non agressor.
it is all water under the bridge now....I am really surprised to see this thread is still going on.
thanks everyone for your input.
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carenza: have you read the whole thread at all?
I have not been agressive myself at all....I just asked for an empty chair.
did not get it, and turned my back to that woman.
she remained agressive to me. that 'classy guy' I was with, did not stand up for ME, the non agressor.
it is all water under the bridge now....I am really surprised to see this thread is still going on.
thanks everyone for your input.
I have not been agressive myself at all....I just asked for an empty chair.
did not get it, and turned my back to that woman.
she remained agressive to me. that 'classy guy' I was with, did not stand up for ME, the non agressor.
it is all water under the bridge now....I am really surprised to see this thread is still going on.
thanks everyone for your input.
Eh you forgot to mention you were rude to her when she declined to surrender the chair (u told her to get lost) , thats tantamount to misrepresentation, was it innocent or intended?
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carenza: so,
........
the knight had rusty armour and his horse was terminal I guess.
what a bummer.....not even one word to stand up for me...
I wonder if there is any hope left...
........
the knight had rusty armour and his horse was terminal I guess.
what a bummer.....not even one word to stand up for me...
I wonder if there is any hope left...
Hello carenza
I did read quite through your thread that far...
and I'm just wondering...
I mean, what do you expect of a "gentleman" or a "knight in shining amour"
to treat a Lady well? to stand up for her? to defend her?
but by that...
I got irritated because my date just stood there and said nothing. so I must have used a hard tone of voice I guess.
she stood up, trying to impress or something, but I was bigger....in hindsight, that was a bit of fun.
but because of her defensive attitude, I got angry and I told her she was asocial. she was ready to attack me I'll tell you. and vice versa....
I'm really wondering, where's left that "Lady" who expects a gentleman to behave like one
I really do not want to attact you, but maybe think about?
watch yourself of another position, as a stranger...
...like that man you dated still was to you?
dd you really appeard like to be a "nice Lady"?
right to stand over such an embarrassing situation
only makes the others more embarrassing
but by joining ...you just doesn't look better than them, sorry
JMOdon't think, that I cannot understand you
oh well, I can understand you fully, there at your reaktion
but maybe take a little bit more care about your self esteem
who wants to be like the scum bags, who annoy us for any reason?
me in any case not
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well,
thanks again everyone for reacting.
I am done with this thread.
thanks again everyone for reacting.
I am done with this thread.
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mjames: Sorry but why would a guy that you are first trying to get to know want to be with someone who on their first date is already showing some anger issues and drama.
He was kind to you; I would have left right then and there. You need to work on your attitude.
Why would he stand up for you? he doesn't know you and is trying to get to know you and if I saw it I would think all of you were immature and psycho to be so out of control with your emotions.
You are very demanding thinking some new guy is going to be your knight in shining armor. I'd worry more on how you handle people.
He acted with class and was appropriate; you didnt.
He was kind to you; I would have left right then and there. You need to work on your attitude.
Why would he stand up for you? he doesn't know you and is trying to get to know you and if I saw it I would think all of you were immature and psycho to be so out of control with your emotions.
You are very demanding thinking some new guy is going to be your knight in shining armor. I'd worry more on how you handle people.
He acted with class and was appropriate; you didnt.
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maryrachelle: Well here is the thing about disagreements between people.There are three sides to every story.There are the sides of the two people involved and then there is the unvarnished,harsh light of day truth that neither want to accept.Everyone wants to be right.
You're date may of seen the fight between you two as your fault?He may of seen you as the one to instigate and keep it going?This may of been the reason why he did not get involved? He may of been so turned off by what he saw that this is the reason he didn't want to see you again?
Keep in mind I am not saying you were the one at fault,the one who started it or the one who kept it going,but he may of seen it that way.
It takes two people to fight.
You're date may of seen the fight between you two as your fault?He may of seen you as the one to instigate and keep it going?This may of been the reason why he did not get involved? He may of been so turned off by what he saw that this is the reason he didn't want to see you again?
Keep in mind I am not saying you were the one at fault,the one who started it or the one who kept it going,but he may of seen it that way.
It takes two people to fight.
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mjames: Sorry but why would a guy that you are first trying to get to know want to be with someone who on their first date is already showing some anger issues and drama.
He was kind to you; I would have left right then and there. You need to work on your attitude.
Why would he stand up for you? he doesn't know you and is trying to get to know you and if I saw it I would think all of you were immature and psycho to be so out of control with your emotions.
You are very demanding thinking some new guy is going to be your knight in shining armor. I'd worry more on how you handle people.
He acted with class and was appropriate; you didnt.
He was kind to you; I would have left right then and there. You need to work on your attitude.
Why would he stand up for you? he doesn't know you and is trying to get to know you and if I saw it I would think all of you were immature and psycho to be so out of control with your emotions.
You are very demanding thinking some new guy is going to be your knight in shining armor. I'd worry more on how you handle people.
He acted with class and was appropriate; you didnt.
Nice to see you back in the forums MJ.
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My date walked away without explanation. It is happening and we always wonder why. So many reasons might exist out there. And it is not easy for us to face that person and ask him/her to give us an answer.
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vyoleta: My date walked away without explanation. It is happening and we always wonder why. So many reasons might exist out there. And it is not easy for us to face that person and ask him/her to give us an answer.
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Sorry to have to say this.....but think if I was your date I would have walked away too.....
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Was it really worth it to have an outburst like that in public, in a crowded restaurant?
If I would have been (and I have been in some very awkward social situations)in the same position, I don't know that I would have handled it the same way.
There is no reason for raised voices and aggression, it was a chair and if she didn't give it to you willingly, the appropriate thing would have been to mention it to your waiter/waitress, which is what you did in the end.
When she raised her voice, the polite and non-confrontational thing to do would have been to apologized to her and just let it go, not to resort to acting as she did because it lowered you to her level.
When we allow our tempers to get the better of us, especially at work or in public, it always bodes badly for us---exercising self-control is not always easy, but it is the right thing to do in the end.
As far as the man you were with, a gentleman would have offered you HIS seat until HE could have arranged for another one to be brought to him....he was an *ss.
Chock it up to you were the victim of a rude person, you lost your temper and had an exchange of words and your date showed his true colors just by watching you stand there, when this whole situation could have been prevented if he had only had the chivalry and common sense to let you, a lady, have his seat. JMHO.
If I would have been (and I have been in some very awkward social situations)in the same position, I don't know that I would have handled it the same way.
There is no reason for raised voices and aggression, it was a chair and if she didn't give it to you willingly, the appropriate thing would have been to mention it to your waiter/waitress, which is what you did in the end.
When she raised her voice, the polite and non-confrontational thing to do would have been to apologized to her and just let it go, not to resort to acting as she did because it lowered you to her level.
When we allow our tempers to get the better of us, especially at work or in public, it always bodes badly for us---exercising self-control is not always easy, but it is the right thing to do in the end.
As far as the man you were with, a gentleman would have offered you HIS seat until HE could have arranged for another one to be brought to him....he was an *ss.
Chock it up to you were the victim of a rude person, you lost your temper and had an exchange of words and your date showed his true colors just by watching you stand there, when this whole situation could have been prevented if he had only had the chivalry and common sense to let you, a lady, have his seat. JMHO.
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I think I would have done the exact same thing if I were him
Even tho that may not be your usual behavior, he doesnt know that
and hey we all make mistakes chalk it up to that, but you may have served yourself better by not having spoken with the woman in the first place
and let the gentleman take care of the restaurant seating as most likely he wished to
JMHO
Even tho that may not be your usual behavior, he doesnt know that
and hey we all make mistakes chalk it up to that, but you may have served yourself better by not having spoken with the woman in the first place
and let the gentleman take care of the restaurant seating as most likely he wished to
JMHO
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stefonline: Sorry to have to say this.....but think if I was your date I would have walked away too.....
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