What language of love do you speak? (172)
20% Words of Affirmation 6
33% Quality Time 10
0% Receiving Gifts 0
13% Acts of Service 4
33% Physical Touch 10
33% Quality Time 10
0% Receiving Gifts 0
13% Acts of Service 4
33% Physical Touch 10
------ This thread is Archived ------
No use the "future" one...
montecito: I don't have a spouse. Should I "use" the last man in my life for the test....
------ This thread is Archived ------
verbal appriciation (8) and phisical touch (7) seem to do it for me.. 
hmmm...
a cross of Cyrano de Bergerac with Giacomo Casanova
oh me...oh my
looks like i'm settle for a short term relationship...
hmmm...
a cross of Cyrano de Bergerac with Giacomo Casanova
oh me...oh my
looks like i'm settle for a short term relationship...
------ This thread is Archived ------
langleygirl: 27% Words of Affirmation 8
27% Quality Time 8
13% Receiving Gifts 4
10% Acts of Service 3
23% Physical Touch 7
Funny that the acts of service ie. taking out the garbage are the things that irritate me the most when someone simply doesn't do them in the day to day run of the mill chores. I actually found the questions hard to choose because I could have chosen both answers in many instances.
Nice to see you using the book Ambrose, although I do wonder why you haven't participated in the test yourself! I think part of learning how to be with another is understanding what makes ourselves tick.
Oops I withdraw my words as I see that you have indeed taken the plunge. 27% Quality Time 8
13% Receiving Gifts 4
10% Acts of Service 3
23% Physical Touch 7
Funny that the acts of service ie. taking out the garbage are the things that irritate me the most when someone simply doesn't do them in the day to day run of the mill chores. I actually found the questions hard to choose because I could have chosen both answers in many instances.
Nice to see you using the book Ambrose, although I do wonder why you haven't participated in the test yourself! I think part of learning how to be with another is understanding what makes ourselves tick.
I think I'd have thought I'd died and gone to heaven if I had a man who whispered sweet words in my ear, while spending some quality time with me giving me a wonderful massage. I'd be a puddle.
------ This thread is Archived ------
langleygirl: Oops I withdraw my words as I see that you have indeed taken the plunge.
I think I'd have thought I'd died and gone to heaven if I had a man who whispered sweet words in my ear, while spending some quality time with me giving me a wonderful massage. I'd be a puddle.
I think I'd have thought I'd died and gone to heaven if I had a man who whispered sweet words in my ear, while spending some quality time with me giving me a wonderful massage. I'd be a puddle.
I Hope we all find that someday!
G-Nite!
------ This thread is Archived ------
40% Physical Touch 12
30% Quality Time 9
20% Words of Affirmation 6
10% Acts of Service 3
0% Receiving Gifts 0
I'm feeling very emtionally absolute, and organized
this evening.
30% Quality Time 9
20% Words of Affirmation 6
10% Acts of Service 3
0% Receiving Gifts 0
I'm feeling very emtionally absolute, and organized
this evening.
------ This thread is Archived ------
Quality time + quantity of the quality time.
Nice and love talking both ways between the boundaries of truth.
Material Gifts, the least the better.
Nice and love talking both ways between the boundaries of truth.
Material Gifts, the least the better.
------ This thread is Archived ------
lifeisadream: Quality time + quantity of the quality time.
Nice and love talking both ways between the boundaries of truth.
Material Gifts, the least the better.
Nice and love talking both ways between the boundaries of truth.
Material Gifts, the least the better.
Physical goes IN the quality time.
------ This thread is Archived ------
Sooo..I took the test and it was very close
30% quality time
23% words of affirmation
0% gifts
23% acts of service
23% physical touch
Lol what I found funny is that in the summary of the results it was said that I may have been a nag and drove my spouse away!!!
Which is not the case. Though I love it when Bill will do things for me such as cut the grass, take out the garbage I don't demand he does and will happily do it myself. I look at my relationship as "What one thing can I do today that will make my lovers life better". With that being said, him doing little things without being asked thrills me. To me it shows he cares and wants to do things that will make my life better or easier. I also work hard to do the same for him. The simplest things can make each other happy. For example, he mentioned that he likes honey mustard, I on the other hand do not so I never buy it. Last grocery day I bought him honey mustard and when he saw it on the dinner table was tickled pink. Seeing him so happy over something so simple and vice a versa is what makes us work. I think each relationship needs all of these catagories (maybe not the gift part) in order to be successful. Affirming how you feel, listening to each other, supporting each other, reassuring each other of how you feel both verbally and physically are all important.
30% quality time
23% words of affirmation
0% gifts
23% acts of service
23% physical touch
Lol what I found funny is that in the summary of the results it was said that I may have been a nag and drove my spouse away!!!
Which is not the case. Though I love it when Bill will do things for me such as cut the grass, take out the garbage I don't demand he does and will happily do it myself. I look at my relationship as "What one thing can I do today that will make my lovers life better". With that being said, him doing little things without being asked thrills me. To me it shows he cares and wants to do things that will make my life better or easier. I also work hard to do the same for him. The simplest things can make each other happy. For example, he mentioned that he likes honey mustard, I on the other hand do not so I never buy it. Last grocery day I bought him honey mustard and when he saw it on the dinner table was tickled pink. Seeing him so happy over something so simple and vice a versa is what makes us work. I think each relationship needs all of these catagories (maybe not the gift part) in order to be successful. Affirming how you feel, listening to each other, supporting each other, reassuring each other of how you feel both verbally and physically are all important.------ This thread is Archived ------
langleygirl: Oops I withdraw my words as I see that you have indeed taken the plunge.
I think I'd have thought I'd died and gone to heaven if I had a man who whispered sweet words in my ear, while spending some quality time with me giving me a wonderful massage. I'd be a puddle.
I think I'd have thought I'd died and gone to heaven if I had a man who whispered sweet words in my ear, while spending some quality time with me giving me a wonderful massage. I'd be a puddle.
Hi, Langley! Nice to see you round and about the forums!
Yeah, I used to have that.
According to Gary Chapman (author of Five Love Languages, among other similarly themed books), most of us do get what we want during the "in-love" phase; the problems with language really start kicking in when we come down from that high to mundane reality. That's where knowing how to give your mate the love he or she wants becomes crucial.Interesting that no one is giving the "receiving gifts" much value. If it's truly so marginal for many or most people, you'd wonder why Gary Chapman believes it's one of the five primary languages?
I think the answer might be that "receiving gifts" can be thought of pretty broadly to include all manner of things...maybe even making a great meal (though I think he'd classify that as "Acts of Service").
Here's my take on this love language thing. Regardless of how we specifically classify a particular act as a language, the important truth, I think, is that all of us have certain preferences for receiving love, and certain acts/words that we experience as loving. The key is to learn what "floats your mate's boat" - as well as what floats yours.
Then, in the immortal words of Damon Wayan's "Spasman": "Let's get busy!"
------ This thread is Archived ------
langleygirl: 27% Words of Affirmation 8
27% Quality Time 8
13% Receiving Gifts 4
10% Acts of Service 3
23% Physical Touch 7
Funny that the acts of service ie. taking out the garbage are the things that irritate me the most when someone simply doesn't do them in the day to day run of the mill chores. I actually found the questions hard to choose because I could have chosen both answers in many instances.
Nice to see you using the book Ambrose, although I do wonder why you haven't participated in the test yourself! I think part of learning how to be with another is understanding what makes ourselves tick.
27% Quality Time 8
13% Receiving Gifts 4
10% Acts of Service 3
23% Physical Touch 7
Funny that the acts of service ie. taking out the garbage are the things that irritate me the most when someone simply doesn't do them in the day to day run of the mill chores. I actually found the questions hard to choose because I could have chosen both answers in many instances.
Nice to see you using the book Ambrose, although I do wonder why you haven't participated in the test yourself! I think part of learning how to be with another is understanding what makes ourselves tick.
By the way, Langley, I wanted to thank you again for recommending that book. It's been a real eye-opener, that's for sure.
------ This thread is Archived ------
Aswina: Very interesting test;
Physical Touch - 11
Quality Time - 10
Thanks for test
Physical Touch - 11
Quality Time - 10
Thanks for test
You're welcome! Did you only take part of it??
------ This thread is Archived ------
GingerBe: 20% Words of Affirmation 6
33% Quality Time 10
0% Receiving Gifts 0
13% Acts of Service 4
33% Physical Touch 10
33% Quality Time 10
0% Receiving Gifts 0
13% Acts of Service 4
33% Physical Touch 10
I actually thought Physical Touch would win out for me, Ginger, and it was mildly revelatory - as I thought more about it - how important words of affirmation are.
These are the things that fill our "love tank," as Dr. Chapman puts it. When you've gone a long time without receiving what you long for the most in this regard (for example, I hadn't heard a word of affirmation from my former SO in MANY months!) the tank starts to run empty.
------ This thread is Archived ------
farting
------ This thread is Archived ------
nanners2863: Sooo..I took the test and it was very close
30% quality time
23% words of affirmation
0% gifts
23% acts of service
23% physical touch
Lol what I found funny is that in the summary of the results it was said that I may have been a nag and drove my spouse away!!! Which is not the case. Though I love it when Bill will do things for me such as cut the grass, take out the garbage I don't demand he does and will happily do it myself. I look at my relationship as "What one thing can I do today that will make my lovers life better". With that being said, him doing little things without being asked thrills me. To me it shows he cares and wants to do things that will make my life better or easier. I also work hard to do the same for him. The simplest things can make each other happy. For example, he mentioned that he likes honey mustard, I on the other hand do not so I never buy it. Last grocery day I bought him honey mustard and when he saw it on the dinner table was tickled pink. Seeing him so happy over something so simple and vice a versa is what makes us work. I think each relationship needs all of these catagories (maybe not the gift part) in order to be successful. Affirming how you feel, listening to each other, supporting each other, reassuring each other of how you feel both verbally and physically are all important.
30% quality time
23% words of affirmation
0% gifts
23% acts of service
23% physical touch
Lol what I found funny is that in the summary of the results it was said that I may have been a nag and drove my spouse away!!! Which is not the case. Though I love it when Bill will do things for me such as cut the grass, take out the garbage I don't demand he does and will happily do it myself. I look at my relationship as "What one thing can I do today that will make my lovers life better". With that being said, him doing little things without being asked thrills me. To me it shows he cares and wants to do things that will make my life better or easier. I also work hard to do the same for him. The simplest things can make each other happy. For example, he mentioned that he likes honey mustard, I on the other hand do not so I never buy it. Last grocery day I bought him honey mustard and when he saw it on the dinner table was tickled pink. Seeing him so happy over something so simple and vice a versa is what makes us work. I think each relationship needs all of these catagories (maybe not the gift part) in order to be successful. Affirming how you feel, listening to each other, supporting each other, reassuring each other of how you feel both verbally and physically are all important.
I will just say, Nance, that your Bill is a VERY lucky man to have someone with your can-do/love-work ethic in his life. I so envy him. It's exactly what I want in my life as well.
You'll have the satisfaction of knowing that you gave it your all even if things don't turn out the way you want. And your man will never doubt how much you love and care about it - which I think will make it much easier for him to be the best man he can be - so I'm extremely optimistic about your chances. It's next to impossible to give someone your best when you wonder if they do in fact love and value you, that's for sure.
------ This thread is Archived ------
Ambrose2007: I actually thought Physical Touch would win out for me, Ginger, and it was mildly revelatory - as I thought more about it - how important words of affirmation are.
These are the things that fill our "love tank," as Dr. Chapman puts it. When you've gone a long time without receiving what you long for the most in this regard (for example, I hadn't heard a word of affirmation from my former SO in MANY months!) the tank starts to run empty.
These are the things that fill our "love tank," as Dr. Chapman puts it. When you've gone a long time without receiving what you long for the most in this regard (for example, I hadn't heard a word of affirmation from my former SO in MANY months!) the tank starts to run empty.
I did the test again, and came up with three scores of 7 each. Gifts was better than the last time and can't remember what Acts of Service was but it was higher than gifts. So is there any hope for me ?
------ This thread is Archived ------
To make it clearer, Quality Time, Touch and Affirmation were all 7.
------ This thread is Archived ------
montecito: I did the test again, and came up with three scores of 7 each. Gifts was better than the last time and can't remember what Acts of Service was but it was higher than gifts.
So is there any hope for me ?
So is there any hope for me ?
Well, you'd almost think, Monte, that one's scores could change a bit depending on one's mood!
I don't think these scores are absolutely fixed. People can and do change - if not fundamentally, at least in significant ways.
I would've given short-shrift to "giving gifts" - sounds so mercenary and greedy, doesn't it? But after knowing gg and reading Dr. Chapman's book, I understand that it's not about being materialistic or greedy, but rather about perceiving gifts as symbols of one's love. I'm not sure at all, however, that all the languages are equally healthy. For example, if you're an "Acts of Service" kinda guy (and many, apparently, are), then you might show your love by spending all your time working at the office, feeling that this shows your devotion to your spouse and family.
But that's just plain crazy. Also, in the scale of things, surely communicating your feelings verbally ought to be more important, if it came to a choice, then buying roses or whatever.
But that isn't an excuse for ignoring your partner's preferred expressions of love. And I have been guilty of that to some degree (and vice versa as well).
------ This thread is Archived ------
I speak in many thongs!!!!!!!!!!!!!
------ This thread is Archived ------
This Thread is Archived
This Thread is archived, so you will no longer be able to post to it. Threads get archived automatically when they are older than 3 months.
« Go back to All Threads
« Go back to All Threads
More Threads
Kultur-multur
men's perspective towards women
s*xual skills
More Proof The GOP is a Criminal Organization
the way you look
Would you hire this guy - for any job?
your favorite topic?
Ladies
Democrats destroyed America
Karen McDougal - Playmate Model will testify in Hush Money Trial
More Threads
Report threads that break rules, are offensive, or contain fighting. Staff may not be aware of the forum abuse, and cannot do anything about it unless you tell us about it. click to report forum abuse »
If one of the comments is offensive, please report the comment instead (there is a link in each comment to report it).
If one of the comments is offensive, please report the comment instead (there is a link in each comment to report it).
Physical Touch - 11
Quality Time - 10
Thanks for test