How long does the rebound phase last? (52)
missingLondonMsida, Majjistral Malta101 Threads 11 Polls 455 PostsIn my case I think it's been 1.5 years and only now am I getting out of it and it's being replaced by apathy.
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missingLondon: In my case I think it's been 1.5 years and only now am I getting out of it and it's being replaced by apathy.
the only way is to come out of the past n live in the NOW
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Ladefoss23: the only way is to come out of the past n live in the NOW
that's a cliche'. there are stages of grief when you've lost a long term companion and there's a rebound. Please no fickle replies.
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missingLondon: that's a cliche'. there are stages of grief when you've lost a long term companion and there's a rebound. Please no fickle replies.
I agree. I think the well-known schema developed by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross regarding acceptance of mortality could easily by adapted to other forms of loss and grief.
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Dagosto: I agree. I think the well-known schema developed by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross regarding acceptance of mortality could easily by adapted to other forms of loss and grief.
I've read that book. it's in my library. How's it going?
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missingLondon: that's a cliche'. there are stages of grief when you've lost a long term companion and there's a rebound. Please no fickle replies.
then count the rebound years and let me know..tha tha byee
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I think it varies a bit, It took 2.5 years for me. Probably was the longest and lonliest 2.5 years I ever had and am glad to be past all that. Now when I see anyone going through that transition, I have a lot of empathy for them. you can never totally understand what that person is going through unless you have gone through it yourself.
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missingLondon: I've read that book. it's in my library. How's it going?
Swell, thanks. How's by you?
I gotta confess, I've not read On Death and Dying myself though. I was introduced to the concept by the film All That Jazz and other peripheral sources.
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Dagosto: Swell, thanks. How's by you?
I gotta confess, I've not read On Death and Dying myself though. I was introduced to the concept by the film All That Jazz and other peripheral sources.
I gotta confess, I've not read On Death and Dying myself though. I was introduced to the concept by the film All That Jazz and other peripheral sources.
not too bad here. trying to tire myself out to go to bed.
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missingLondon: that's a cliche'. there are stages of grief when you've lost a long term companion and there's a rebound. Please no fickle replies.
Apathy lasts a fairly long time then you bounce around all over. But you do eventually get over it....
Time sadly I can't say but it is down to the individual.....I got better when I just got out there and stopped chasing and worrying....
Makes life better when you stop worrying about it...
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how long you want/ don´t want...
as for me... I use two mantras...
one is mine " what should be - will be"
second is the best friend of mine " we are, who we are..."
it helps
as for me... I use two mantras...
one is mine " what should be - will be"
second is the best friend of mine " we are, who we are..."
it helps
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missingLondon: In my case I think it's been 1.5 years and only now am I getting out of it and it's being replaced by apathy.
afew beers n get back on horse cause u dont want to drink n drive lol/taxi.------ This thread is Archived ------
missingLondon: In my case I think it's been 1.5 years and only now am I getting out of it and it's being replaced by apathy.
Seems like the going rate is about 2 years....
I myself, (personal opinion) will not date someone that hasn't been divorced for at least 2 years. And sometimes, that's not long enough.
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It's important to go through a certain stage of grief because it helps us deal with reality and move on. We are all different and therefore some folks recover fast while others may require more time. In time we tend to accept things we have no control over and start a new beginning. At this stage we are stronger and we are able to find new interests and often a passion for what we truely believe in. Growth and personal development is constant if we allow it.
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wayward19: It's important to go through a certain stage of grief because it helps us deal with reality and move on. We are all different and therefore some folks recover fast while others may require more time. In time we tend to accept things we have no control over and start a new beginning. At this stage we are stronger and we are able to find new interests and often a passion for what we truely believe in. Growth and personal development is constant if we allow it.
I've noticed a change in me. I've had two short relationships in the last two years since my ltr ended. In both I overlooked lack aof qualities which are important to me and it seemed I was ready to easily fall in love. Now, I am more critical of the people I meet and more able to tell whether the person is made of lasting stuff. Although I still have dreams about my ex I've accepted that I'm better off single until I meet the person I want. I think before I was in a rush to get into another relationship.
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missingLondon: I've noticed a change in me. I've had two short relationships in the last two years since my ltr ended. In both I overlooked lack aof qualities which are important to me and it seemed I was ready to easily fall in love. Now, I am more critical of the people I meet and more able to tell whether the person is made of lasting stuff. Although I still have dreams about my ex I've accepted that I'm better off single until I meet the person I want. I think before I was in a rush to get into another relationship.
Not to intrude, but that would make sense, being in a rush. It'd mean you tended to blame yourself for the failure of the previous relationship, and were (subconsciously) seeking validation, elsewhere. Sounds quite natural to me, and I don't doubt quite common.
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Dagosto: Not to intrude, but that would make sense, being in a rush. It'd mean you tended to blame yourself for the failure of the previous relationship, and were (subconsciously) seeking validation, elsewhere. Sounds quite natural to me, and I don't doubt quite common.
I did tend to blame myself. The relationship was all about him being right and ti took me time to realize I wasn't to blame. also we split up on the phone whilst I was holidaying at home and I've often asked myself if I'd gone back to London as planned if I could have knocked some sense into him. However I stand by my decision to leave as having been right. He'd fallen out of love with me, there was emotional neglect throughout, he was controlling and when I fell ill with depression, he didn't want to know. He effectively abandoned me in sickness and I would not have that, expecting me to heal and then see what was to happen between us. It took a lot of courage to leave but these days I blame myself less. I took a stand, the right one.
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Aswina: how long you want/ don´t want...
as for me... I use two mantras...
one is mine " what should be - will be"
second is the best friend of mine " we are, who we are..."
it helps
as for me... I use two mantras...
one is mine " what should be - will be"
second is the best friend of mine " we are, who we are..."
it helps
the first is nice and I also use that philosophy - if it's meant to be we will make it happen, or it will last (whichever suits the situation)
the second I am not sure I understand your concept but I like to take it mean that u can't change someone to make them who you need - if we decide we want the same things it's because we are two people who want the same things. It doesn't mean that some of the details can't be negotiated, but we can't change the essential persona of another. We can only change ourselves.
we have to discern I think those few things that are non negotiables & use them wisely < this is usually what I think about when in "rebound"
I like the ideas you have.
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missingLondon: In my case I think it's been 1.5 years and only now am I getting out of it and it's being replaced by apathy.
It varies from person to person. Some people don't go through it, others commit suicide because of it.
A lot of people say that getting through that first year is the key, and that seems to be the norm.
Biology plays a big part in it. When we humans become pair-bonded, severing that bond can have disastrous consequences in terms of brain-chemistry. The truth is that many people are never the same again. It seems to be one of those dirty secrets that are swept under the rug, like the damage done to children as a result of divorce.
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gsmonks: It varies from person to person. Some people don't go through it, others commit suicide because of it.
A lot of people say that getting through that first year is the key, and that seems to be the norm.
Biology plays a big part in it. When we humans become pair-bonded, severing that bond can have disastrous consequences in terms of brain-chemistry. The truth is that many people are never the same again. It seems to be one of those dirty secrets that are swept under the rug, like the damage done to children as a result of divorce.
A lot of people say that getting through that first year is the key, and that seems to be the norm.
Biology plays a big part in it. When we humans become pair-bonded, severing that bond can have disastrous consequences in terms of brain-chemistry. The truth is that many people are never the same again. It seems to be one of those dirty secrets that are swept under the rug, like the damage done to children as a result of divorce.
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Created: Jun 2011
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