Red Flags ( Archived) (659)

I don't know why the right video won't post. This baby was 16 lbs, with a 17 inch chest. You should see how big it is. I'll try another way to get the video.

Right. But I see now that there is a difference between criticisms aimed at one's partners character and critical suggestions. At a minimum, you got to assume your partner's basically a good person. If you or your partner doesn't believe that, there's not much to build on, is there?

Here it is.....I hope

That's an excellent point, Lang. First, recognizing one's own Red Flags...wow, that's one of life's great challenges, I think. They're warnings that something is amiss in you or your life - something that you can change to your benefit...perhaps even great benefit. But if you feel contempt toward weakness, toward the idea of red flags, then you probably won't have the stomach to see them in yourself. If you're compassionate toward yourself, however, I think that makes it bearable to face your weaknesses unflinchingly. When you don't feel compelled to judge yourself harshly, you can stand doing that, I think.

At the same time, I think you need to make an honest, unflinching accounting of what you've done wrong and right. Sometimes I've been accused of being too self-critical or of wallowing in guilt/regret, but that was a misunderstanding. I really don't beat myself up that much. Just a good firm smack upside the head from time to time does it.

I know I've done wrong in my last relationship. I have the strength to acknowledge that. But I also know I wasn't the only one who did wrong. That's where I and my ex disagree.

So live and learn and move forward - the only person you can make a difference in the life of is yourself, because others always have the ability to accept or reject us.

Learning to let go is vital for it allows our hearts to heal ... we may never know all the answers and we have to learn to be content with that - despite how foreign that may be to our inner need to KNOW.

when the maitre d asks you to leave because your date has b.o.

When he show's me video's of what the boy's get up to..