Was Supposed To Be So Easy..... ( Archived) (31)

Nov 28, 2006 11:30 AM CST Was Supposed To Be So Easy.....
wikked
wikkedwikkedAjax, Ontario Canada655 Threads 4 Polls 6,091 Posts
When i decided to start "dating"...even made the decision to do it the "modern" way...join an internet dating site...I thought it would be sooooo easy...

I mean i would list all the qualities i consider "attributes"...I mean I don't think i'm all that, but i do think i'm passable to say the least...I'm intelligent and have fine qualities...as do alot of people...

So a year later...heartbreak after disappointment...I have to ask myself how did this become so difficult??

Anyone else out there who thought this would be easy...find someone looking for the same things as you..be compatible...etc etc...just to find that its so much easier said (thought?) than done...blues dunno moping
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Nov 28, 2006 11:35 AM CST Was Supposed To Be So Easy.....
By and large, I think it's because so many people on dating sites have unrealistic expectations. And I don't think they REALLY have those expectations but they put those expectations (those nearly impossible expectations) on others so that THEY can avoid relationships and, thereby, blame others for their own issues when it comes to forming those relationships.

That's one theory I have, anyway.
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Nov 28, 2006 12:26 PM CST Was Supposed To Be So Easy.....
TabooN
TabooNTabooNClaremont, USA47 Threads 12,843 Posts
yup. I think so, too.

there will those than stomp thier feet and deny it to the end, but it's true.

I have no expectations. And, I' don't look... Some people just don't seem to get it when we say that. Like we're lying or some damned thing.

What will be, will... And, those that choose to enter my life will do it unconditionally...

love happens. We humans give ourselves way too much credit, hehehehe
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Nov 28, 2006 1:40 PM CST Was Supposed To Be So Easy.....
Abracadabra
AbracadabraAbracadabraHeaven, Pennsylvania USA69 Threads 3,302 Posts
Wickked wrote:
"Anyone else out there who thought this would be easy...find someone looking for the same things as you..be compatible...etc etc..."

I never thought it would be easy. Of course, I'm seeking a fairly eccentric woman so that comes as no surprise to me.

One of the things that I seek in a woman is a desire to stay home. A genuine homebody. Someone who actually PREFERS to stay home and actually LOVES IT! Just like I do.

That right there cuts my options down to very few women. I was hoping that by using the Internet I could reach into the homes of homebodies that I might not otherwise be able to meet. In other words, going out socializing is where you're going to find homebodies because homebodies aren't likely to be out socializing in the first place. So it was my sincere hope that the computer would get me into the homes of the homebodies.

So far, it hasn't worked the way I had hoped.

Unfortunately, finding her may prove to be almost impossible. And that's a real shame because once found, I feel very confident that the actual relationship part of it will indeed be wonderful.
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Nov 28, 2006 2:46 PM CST Was Supposed To Be So Easy.....
arabella
arabellaarabellaNear Farmington, Maine USA98 Threads 1 Polls 6,199 Posts
When I joined this site, I was separated and not really available to date yet.

After my divorce, I really hoped that I would encounter an intelligent, witty male on the site who would think I was wonderful.

AND, we would have things in common...

Then I tried to sign up at eHarmony because I wanted to increase my chances. I answered their LONG questionnaire which they use to match people up with a compatible person.

They rejected me, saying I was one of the 5% of their applicants who matched NOBODY rolling on the floor laughing

It was then that I realized that I am unique and I probably will not find someone who I can date, at least not online!

But online friends have been more than enough to make me a happy camper cheers
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Nov 28, 2006 2:56 PM CST Was Supposed To Be So Easy.....
Abracadabra
AbracadabraAbracadabraHeaven, Pennsylvania USA69 Threads 3,302 Posts
Well, actualy I think you and I are probably 100% compatible.

The only problem is that you won't leave Maine, and I won't leave Pennsylvania.

So, we're a couple of unrelocatable fools. rolling on the floor laughing
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Nov 28, 2006 3:16 PM CST Was Supposed To Be So Easy.....
arabella
arabellaarabellaNear Farmington, Maine USA98 Threads 1 Polls 6,199 Posts
See, that explains it all!

Online dating is like having a blind date with some who lives miles away!

You never run into them at the grocery store, feel the attraction and track them down. Or see them in a class at school and try to sit behind them. Or meet them on a plane going somewhere.

The attraction is more likely to be an illusion, which can never be made real unless the parties meet in person.

Yep, we're all a bunch of hopeful fools laugh
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Nov 28, 2006 3:28 PM CST Was Supposed To Be So Easy.....
Abracadabra
AbracadabraAbracadabraHeaven, Pennsylvania USA69 Threads 3,302 Posts
So true!

And this is even more pronounced when both parties are homebodies who never leave their homes!

wave

I'm going out tonight though!

I'm going to the laundromat!

Wish me luck!

Maybe I'll bump into another laundromat homebody!

It's like the only time we ever go out! rolling on the floor laughing
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Nov 28, 2006 4:13 PM CST Was Supposed To Be So Easy.....
battlebanshee
battlebansheebattlebansheeWest Melbourne, USA3 Threads 107 Posts
I think most set themselves up to fail. Not always knowingly, but still the same result.


Between not being willing to take the chance...being selfish in the endevour...and generally not REALLY knowing who we are and what we want....BAH...good luck!


Its really not that difficult if you truly want it. Joanie is ok with who she is, so she will always be ok, in a relationship or not. others not as comfy in their own skin will keep having one failed and/or miserable relationship after another.
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Nov 28, 2006 4:16 PM CST Was Supposed To Be So Easy.....
Konigsberg
KonigsbergKonigsbergJurassic Park (Site B), Nova Scotia Canada57 Threads 3 Polls 8,448 Posts
Well ...this might soinds odd

Meeting a true soulmate ... it is a blessing

they reach your destination when you are not waiting or want them, in fact.

In our case, two homebodies...we found each other, right here on CS just by a lucky chance.

Perhaps someone or something out there ...

Oh well Joanie, James you are right Willing to move is the utmost matter

Abra I wish you good luck yay and I am off to learn Swedish, third language Jeez!

så sant mig Gud hjälpe!

peace
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Nov 28, 2006 4:19 PM CST Was Supposed To Be So Easy.....
amen Wikked!!! i was sittin' home,alone,again...when i said sc--w this! n walked over to the computor to check out E-harm..y figurin', like you,that i might as well"get w/the program" n join the rest of the world in the internet realm of the"dating game"! TO NO AVAIL!!! it was a tremendous blow to my,already fragile,wounded ego. the internet dating scene is a whole new ball of whacks!! blues sigh
moping i stayed w/ that site for awhile b-4 findin' C.S. where i soon found that people tend to be deceitful consistantly..no matter where you go(human nature?) so i stayed away for awhile(to lick my wounds) till i decided to give the "rest" of the male race a break n not assume the worst of ALL of them over a few cruel ones! i have watched n listened(n tried to give a little advice!)as people go through the painful process of gettin' to know one another in the hopes of makin' that,ever elusive,desired connection!and here i sit, still SINGLE in front of this exasperating machine w/ it's cold laughin' heart..hoping against hope that "the man of my dreams" will find me floundering around in this ocean of lonely hearts and pluck me out,dry me off, and heal my broken heart n soul.....yes Wikked... i feel the "thought this would be easier" syndrome. best wishes to you Beautiful Lady...may God soon bless you w/ the man of your dreams
hug conversing comfort
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Nov 28, 2006 4:22 PM CST Was Supposed To Be So Easy.....
arabella
arabellaarabellaNear Farmington, Maine USA98 Threads 1 Polls 6,199 Posts
So true!!! wine
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Nov 28, 2006 5:06 PM CST Was Supposed To Be So Easy.....
RainbowSlider
RainbowSliderRainbowSliderYellville, USA171 Threads 7,174 Posts
It would be hard not to love you, Nene. Believe me I have tried not love you. I guess I am just human what more could I add.
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Nov 28, 2006 5:14 PM CST Was Supposed To Be So Easy.....
TabooN
TabooNTabooNClaremont, USA47 Threads 12,843 Posts
kiss
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Nov 28, 2006 6:12 PM CST Was Supposed To Be So Easy.....
arabella
arabellaarabellaNear Farmington, Maine USA98 Threads 1 Polls 6,199 Posts
See, Folks...

This is what it's all about....
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Nov 28, 2006 6:37 PM CST Was Supposed To Be So Easy.....
Chele1964
Chele1964Chele1964Pittsboro, Indiana USA48 Threads 2,488 Posts
Yes, you are right. We should all be friends, there for each other in good and bad times!
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Nov 28, 2006 6:51 PM CST Was Supposed To Be So Easy.....
most definately!!!!!cheering head banger cheering
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Nov 28, 2006 8:40 PM CST Was Supposed To Be So Easy.....
asingledad
asingledadasingledadBeaufort, South Carolina USA20 Threads 390 Posts
True Love no matter how you go about it is never easy...

And nothing worth having is ever easy either...
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Nov 29, 2006 4:19 AM CST Was Supposed To Be So Easy.....
wikked
wikkedwikkedAjax, Ontario Canada655 Threads 4 Polls 6,091 Posts
I don't think i set my "expectations" too high...at my age i think that i have set my expectations on what i feel i am of deserving of because i know what i have to offer in return...

It may be that we are looking for that "loving feeling" too soon....

My experience has been that for as much as men think women don't know what they want...i have found the opposite!!
Their profiles and discussions with you say one thing...then as soon as you're "involved" with them...you find a completely different person...and generally it's THEM that don't know what they want out of a relationship...or are not ready to "committ"...or whatever the flavor of the month is....

I'm not here to waste anyone's time...and i don't want anyone to waste mine...at the same time I will not "settle" for anyone, and i certainly don't want to be with anyone who feels they had to "settle" for me...

I CHOSE to be on a dating site...I wasn't FORCED to be on one..sometimes i wonder if SOME men out there think that women on dating sites are "desperate"...very mad
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Nov 29, 2006 4:39 AM CST Was Supposed To Be So Easy.....
fireliter
fireliterfireliterAllen Park, Michigan USA502 Threads 14 Polls 5,902 Posts
How many times have we all been told "if it comes easy we wont' appreicate it??". but how long and hard must we work and wait?

the thought stuck me, if I was this picky when buying a house.... I'd be living a cave to this day. Are we all in general afraid of the hurt that that has always followed our attempts at this elusive thing called "Love".

I have no definitive answer, I only have my tenacious belief in for everyone theres someone...good luck to us all, Oh yeah and...

God bless us all, everyone.conversing
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