Impressions ( Archived) (143)

jac379: I've used this many times before on the forums, but hopefully it'll make things clearer without boring too many people.

Robin Skinner, a psychiatrist, tried an experiment in a group therapy session to explore 'attraction'.

He asked the members of the group to each pick a partner. The last two people ended up with each other because they weren't 'picked'.

He then asked each pair to team up with another pair. Once again, the 'rejected' pair ended up with another pair by default, not because they were selected. Not only this, but they ended up with a pair who were second to last pairing the first time round.

The teams of four were then set the task of getting to know each other and a spokes person was chosen to relate their findings to the rest of wider group.

It turns out that each group of four had an uncanny amount of things in common, such that all the 'successful' people were in one group for example, another group had maybe a lot of anxiety traits. This isn't so hard to understand if we examine overt signs of anxiety, such as more prominent ligaments in the neck, tenser muscles around the jaw area, eyes held wider open, etc..

As Robin Skinner went round the teams asking them to relate their findings, he felt uncomfortable about the 'rejected' team and so left them until last (think about it).

It turned out that all four members of this team had been rejected in some way during childhood - one had been adopted, one abused, another in care, that sort of thing. Somehow, each of them had displayed their feelings of rejection and it had become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Once you realise how astute we are at subconsciously picking up on traits displayed in body language, you can start to consciously see it in people's photos - it might just be a slight tilt of the head, but it might be a tilt which speaks of confidence for example, or sends a 'keep your distance' message.

So, we can be quite accurately informed about people from their photos, potentially going all the way back to their childhood. It would account for why we may be attracted to one person, but not another, regardless of how 'handsome', or 'beautiful' they are on an objective, or socially accepted level.

KNenagh: I don't have any problems chatting with palefaces here on the forum, but not as regards to dating, chatting etc. with Irish guys.

Too many weirdos with too much time on their hands and mulitple profiles locally, or guys who really have a reason not to show their face - married etc.

I met once a guy at the start who had a "fake" pic up and send me his own ones shortly before meeting - and I was too polite to bail out. Ended up stalking me with multiple profiles etc.

Harleyquinn: Hey who you calling paleface? I'm Irish Cherokee!

SHANTI

KNenagh: Not you Harley.

I would call you colourful.

rohaan: do you think the way I chose to do it is "OK"? just wondering, and will totally respect how you feel about this.

(see my recent posts in this thread about how I send pics to friends)