How do you select your friends and how do they choose you? (72)
lifeisadream: Now i do apologize for the P-ink
Hi LadyDiz
Quality over quantity.
Dandelion
You brought up several interesting points.
About one of them: when I said to some friends that I was going to ask for divorce, some ladies from a small circle of friends told me that since I was going to get divorced I could not fit in that group, then I ask them why -just to know- they said, because you are going to be single and our husbands might be interested in you
Brainless ladies, I never came back to that group.
And yes friends are special.
Hi LadyDiz
Quality over quantity.
Dandelion
You brought up several interesting points.
About one of them: when I said to some friends that I was going to ask for divorce, some ladies from a small circle of friends told me that since I was going to get divorced I could not fit in that group, then I ask them why -just to know- they said, because you are going to be single and our husbands might be interested in you
Brainless ladies, I never came back to that group.
And yes friends are special.
Totally understand. Its a danger with most women that are separating/divorcing, I believe. It probably happens with the men too?
I found that suddenly my female friends were inclined to believe I would be after their partners. I found this hard to comprehend as:
1. If I hadn't fancied your their husband/partner before, why would I suddenly become interested?
2. If I didn't want my own husband, why would I want someone else's?
I think you'll find the problem lay entirely with them and their own insecurities, love.
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xxDandelionxx: Totally understand. Its a danger with most women that are separating/divorcing, I believe. It probably happens with the men too?
I found that suddenly my female friends were inclined to believe I would be after their partners. I found this hard to comprehend as:
1. If I hadn't fancied your their husband/partner before, why would I suddenly become interested?
2. If I didn't want my own husband, why would I want someone else's?
I think you'll find the problem lay entirely with them and their own insecurities, love.
I found that suddenly my female friends were inclined to believe I would be after their partners. I found this hard to comprehend as:
1. If I hadn't fancied your their husband/partner before, why would I suddenly become interested?
2. If I didn't want my own husband, why would I want someone else's?
I think you'll find the problem lay entirely with them and their own insecurities, love.
Geee what a ladies!
I would not be interested in a friend's husband either even if I am the only one that believes in that frienship.
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I had a couple very good friends that I could always confide in and they never ever passed judgement on me. they stuck by me thorugh some pretty hard times in my life.A few years ago they both passed on.
Now anyone I've met I consider them only aquaintances and nothing more.
Now anyone I've met I consider them only aquaintances and nothing more.
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Ccincy: I had a couple very good friends that I could always confide in and they never ever passed judgement on me. they stuck by me thorugh some pretty hard times in my life.A few years ago they both passed on.Now anyone I've met I consider them only aquaintances and nothing more.
it is the price we pay for living a long life - sad that there is a season for all things.------ This thread is Archived ------
lifeisadream: Friends are wonderful, interesting, great people but.......
Lately I have been unenthusiastic to attend some friend’s gatherings and I have prefered to spend some time reading or just doing some cleaning at my place (having moved recently).
I just missed a friend’s 25th wedding anniversary with a big party. I just got tired of those social parties and I am getting bored of our more private gatherings, eventhough I value my friends.
How do you select your friends and how do they select you?
Do you ever get tired/bored of their company?
Do you feel that you need something else to fill yourself with?
Perhaps it is time for me to retire to a cave!
Lately I have been unenthusiastic to attend some friend’s gatherings and I have prefered to spend some time reading or just doing some cleaning at my place (having moved recently).
I just missed a friend’s 25th wedding anniversary with a big party. I just got tired of those social parties and I am getting bored of our more private gatherings, eventhough I value my friends.
How do you select your friends and how do they select you?
Do you ever get tired/bored of their company?
Do you feel that you need something else to fill yourself with?
Perhaps it is time for me to retire to a cave!
lolol Have you considered getting a boyfriend?
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MADDOG69: lolol Have you considered getting a boyfriend?
She mentioned something about cleaning at her place, didn't she?
Boyfriend....? Yeah, right!!
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xxDandelionxx: She mentioned something about cleaning at her place, didn't she?
Boyfriend....? Yeah, right!!
Boyfriend....? Yeah, right!!
That's just a subtle hint from her.... a very traditionally feminine thing that ups her value: showing she's houseproud and runs the house, an admirable trait.
As for boyfriend... well what else if she said "something else to fill yourself with?"
------ This thread is Archived ------
In response to: Friends are wonderful, interesting, great people but.......
Lately I have been unenthusiastic to attend some friend’s gatherings and I have preferred to spend some time reading or just doing some cleaning at my place (having moved recently).
I just missed a friend’s 25th wedding anniversary with a big party. I just got tired of those social parties and I am getting bored of our more private gatherings, eventhough I value my friends.
How do you select your friends and how do they select you?
Do you ever get tired/bored of their company?
Do you feel that you need something else to fill yourself with?
Perhaps it is time for me to retire to a cave!
Lately I have been unenthusiastic to attend some friend’s gatherings and I have preferred to spend some time reading or just doing some cleaning at my place (having moved recently).
I just missed a friend’s 25th wedding anniversary with a big party. I just got tired of those social parties and I am getting bored of our more private gatherings, eventhough I value my friends.
How do you select your friends and how do they select you?
Do you ever get tired/bored of their company?
Do you feel that you need something else to fill yourself with?
Perhaps it is time for me to retire to a cave!
Here in NZ ( The Foundation Nation of Nanny Statism and Social Engineering Lab for the Eurozone) there's a lot of discussion about this and, at the moment the favoured option seems to be a State Lottery.
Everyone over 18 will be entered and it seems we'll be allocated a circle of friends by Big Brother... and there's to be ongoing assessment and exams at the end of each year!
You'll be graded in the National Certificate of Educational Acheivement (NCEA) from
NCEA not yet achieved ( aka antisocial and /or useless as a friend )
NCEA Level Seven ( terrific friend, bound always to be in great demand )
There's also to be Career Opportunities as a Govt Sponsored SuperFriend and Mentor!
The computer will calculate your impact on others in the allocated circles and, if after 3 years of assessment it finds that you presence in a circle of people (which varied annually remember) is generally positive and uplifting then you'll be awarded the the title of 'SuperFriend' (in much the same way as certain school principals have been awarded 'Super Principal' status and are 'used' by the government to sort out troublesome or failing schools ...
You'll be added to a circle of 'low achievers' and your SuperFriendship will be the vehicle by which turkeys are turned into eagles and soar!
But to speak directly to the TA, if I may
Yes, sometimes it IS an effort to keep in touch with our friends, and to make the effort to attend, maybe especially when we are single and feeling alone, bluesy... we don't have that 'other half' to encourage or even push or remind us of our duty to friends and the need to reciprocate eh?
But on our own we need to keep in mind that they (our friends) also sometimes feel the same and have still rallied to our sides (and usually we and they all felt better for the effort eh !)
APATHY though is the great killer of spirit and friendship ... if we turn down several (as fews as two sometimes) invitations then the friend will 'assume that they offended you somehow' and will cease inviting ... NO ONE likes to be rejected and refusing begins to look like rejection!
Stay safe n well and 'head up ...' It works !!!!!
:-)
------ This thread is Archived ------
HexagonKeySet: Here in NZ ( The Foundation Nation of Nanny Statism and Social Engineering Lab for the Eurozone) there's a lot of discussion about this and, at the moment the favoured option seems to be a State Lottery.
Everyone over 18 will be entered and it seems we'll be allocated a circle of friends by Big Brother... and there's to be ongoing assessment and exams at the end of each year!
You'll be graded in the National Certificate of Educational Acheivement (NCEA) from
NCEA not yet achieved ( aka antisocial and /or useless as a friend )
NCEA Level Seven ( terrific friend, bound always to be in great demand )
There's also to be Career Opportunities as a Govt Sponsored SuperFriend and Mentor!
The computer will calculate your impact on others in the allocated circles and, if after 3 years of assessment it finds that you presence in a circle of people (which varied annually remember) is generally positive and uplifting then you'll be awarded the the title of 'SuperFriend' (in much the same way as certain school principals have been awarded 'Super Principal' status and are 'used' by the government to sort out troublesome or failing schools ...
You'll be added to a circle of 'low achievers' and your SuperFriendship will be the vehicle by which turkeys are turned into eagles and soar!
But to speak directly to the TA, if I may
Yes, sometimes it IS an effort to keep in touch with our friends, and to make the effort to attend, maybe especially when we are single and feeling alone, bluesy... we don't have that 'other half' to encourage or even push or remind us of our duty to friends and the need to reciprocate eh?
But on our own we need to keep in mind that they (our friends) also sometimes feel the same and have still rallied to our sides (and usually we and they all felt better for the effort eh !)
APATHY though is the great killer of spirit and friendship ... if we turn down several (as fews as two sometimes) invitations then the friend will 'assume that they offended you somehow' and will cease inviting ... NO ONE likes to be rejected and refusing begins to look like rejection!
Stay safe n well and 'head up ...' It works !!!!!
:-)
I pick my friends based on their friendliness and ability to be friendlyEveryone over 18 will be entered and it seems we'll be allocated a circle of friends by Big Brother... and there's to be ongoing assessment and exams at the end of each year!
You'll be graded in the National Certificate of Educational Acheivement (NCEA) from
NCEA not yet achieved ( aka antisocial and /or useless as a friend )
NCEA Level Seven ( terrific friend, bound always to be in great demand )
There's also to be Career Opportunities as a Govt Sponsored SuperFriend and Mentor!
The computer will calculate your impact on others in the allocated circles and, if after 3 years of assessment it finds that you presence in a circle of people (which varied annually remember) is generally positive and uplifting then you'll be awarded the the title of 'SuperFriend' (in much the same way as certain school principals have been awarded 'Super Principal' status and are 'used' by the government to sort out troublesome or failing schools ...
You'll be added to a circle of 'low achievers' and your SuperFriendship will be the vehicle by which turkeys are turned into eagles and soar!
But to speak directly to the TA, if I may
Yes, sometimes it IS an effort to keep in touch with our friends, and to make the effort to attend, maybe especially when we are single and feeling alone, bluesy... we don't have that 'other half' to encourage or even push or remind us of our duty to friends and the need to reciprocate eh?
But on our own we need to keep in mind that they (our friends) also sometimes feel the same and have still rallied to our sides (and usually we and they all felt better for the effort eh !)
APATHY though is the great killer of spirit and friendship ... if we turn down several (as fews as two sometimes) invitations then the friend will 'assume that they offended you somehow' and will cease inviting ... NO ONE likes to be rejected and refusing begins to look like rejection!
Stay safe n well and 'head up ...' It works !!!!!
:-)
------ This thread is Archived ------
HexagonKeySet:
Yes, sometimes it IS an effort to keep in touch with our friends, and to make the effort to attend, maybe especially when we are single and feeling alone, bluesy... we don't have that 'other half' to encourage or even push or remind us of our duty to friends and the need to reciprocate eh?
But on our own we need to keep in mind that they (our friends) also sometimes feel the same and have still rallied to our sides (and usually we and they all felt better for the effort eh !)
APATHY though is the great killer of spirit and friendship ... if we turn down several (as fews as two sometimes) invitations then the friend will 'assume that they offended you somehow' and will cease inviting ... NO ONE likes to be rejected and refusing begins to look like rejection!
Stay safe n well and 'head up ...' It works !!!!!
:-)
Yes, sometimes it IS an effort to keep in touch with our friends, and to make the effort to attend, maybe especially when we are single and feeling alone, bluesy... we don't have that 'other half' to encourage or even push or remind us of our duty to friends and the need to reciprocate eh?
But on our own we need to keep in mind that they (our friends) also sometimes feel the same and have still rallied to our sides (and usually we and they all felt better for the effort eh !)
APATHY though is the great killer of spirit and friendship ... if we turn down several (as fews as two sometimes) invitations then the friend will 'assume that they offended you somehow' and will cease inviting ... NO ONE likes to be rejected and refusing begins to look like rejection!
Stay safe n well and 'head up ...' It works !!!!!
:-)
gotta be one, to have one
which does not preclude enjoying one's solitude as well
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felixis99: my friends and I have not so much chosen each other as happened upon each other and shared circumstances of some sort. I also prefer to spend a good deal of time alone tho
Hey there--I make an effort to notice/observe how (a potential friend) treats his/her environment, their manner of talking, how they treat the people already in their life, how they act and react toward pets and wildlife, whether or not they are courteous. Easy outs are cynicism, sarcasm, anger, impatience, filthy jokes, poor work habits, poor hygiene habits. Yep, wanna hang with me you have to be pretty darn spic and span--clean as a whistle in every way.------ This thread is Archived ------
xxDandelionxx: She mentioned something about cleaning at her place, didn't she?
Boyfriend....? Yeah, right!!
Boyfriend....? Yeah, right!!
No wonder why you are single.
But, so am I!
MADDOG69: lolol Have you considered getting a boyfriend?
Have I ever considered getting a boy-friend?
Let me see Cutie:
This is a connecting singles place
No
I would consider getting a Man-friend.
Why?
Any uncle of yours available?
(single and interesting)
MADDOG69: That's just a subtle hint from her.... a very traditionally feminine thing that ups her value: showing she's houseproud and runs the house, an admirable trait.
As for boyfriend... well what else if she said "something else to fill yourself with?"
As for boyfriend... well what else if she said "something else to fill yourself with?"
Of course that my value is up!
I am houseproud (new word for me), I am a great cook, I run my house, etc...and before that I am a person with high moral standars, educated, etc.....
Tell your auncle that I am a good catch (with some little flaws....)
------ This thread is Archived ------
HexagonKeySet: Here in NZ ( The Foundation Nation of Nanny Statism and Social Engineering Lab for the Eurozone) there's a lot of discussion about this and, at the moment the favoured option seems to be a State Lottery.
Everyone over 18 will be entered and it seems we'll be allocated a circle of friends by Big Brother... and there's to be ongoing assessment and exams at the end of each year!
You'll be graded in the National Certificate of Educational Acheivement (NCEA) from
NCEA not yet achieved ( aka antisocial and /or useless as a friend )
NCEA Level Seven ( terrific friend, bound always to be in great demand )
There's also to be Career Opportunities as a Govt Sponsored SuperFriend and Mentor!
The computer will calculate your impact on others in the allocated circles and, if after 3 years of assessment it finds that you presence in a circle of people (which varied annually remember) is generally positive and uplifting then you'll be awarded the the title of 'SuperFriend' (in much the same way as certain school principals have been awarded 'Super Principal' status and are 'used' by the government to sort out troublesome or failing schools ...
You'll be added to a circle of 'low achievers' and your SuperFriendship will be the vehicle by which turkeys are turned into eagles and soar!
But to speak directly to the TA, if I may
Yes, sometimes it IS an effort to keep in touch with our friends, and to make the effort to attend, maybe especially when we are single and feeling alone, bluesy... we don't have that 'other half' to encourage or even push or remind us of our duty to friends and the need to reciprocate eh?
But on our own we need to keep in mind that they (our friends) also sometimes feel the same and have still rallied to our sides (and usually we and they all felt better for the effort eh !)
APATHY though is the great killer of spirit and friendship ... if we turn down several (as fews as two sometimes) invitations then the friend will 'assume that they offended you somehow' and will cease inviting ... NO ONE likes to be rejected and refusing begins to look like rejection!
Stay safe n well and 'head up ...' It works !!!!!
:-)
Everyone over 18 will be entered and it seems we'll be allocated a circle of friends by Big Brother... and there's to be ongoing assessment and exams at the end of each year!
You'll be graded in the National Certificate of Educational Acheivement (NCEA) from
NCEA not yet achieved ( aka antisocial and /or useless as a friend )
NCEA Level Seven ( terrific friend, bound always to be in great demand )
There's also to be Career Opportunities as a Govt Sponsored SuperFriend and Mentor!
The computer will calculate your impact on others in the allocated circles and, if after 3 years of assessment it finds that you presence in a circle of people (which varied annually remember) is generally positive and uplifting then you'll be awarded the the title of 'SuperFriend' (in much the same way as certain school principals have been awarded 'Super Principal' status and are 'used' by the government to sort out troublesome or failing schools ...
You'll be added to a circle of 'low achievers' and your SuperFriendship will be the vehicle by which turkeys are turned into eagles and soar!
But to speak directly to the TA, if I may
Yes, sometimes it IS an effort to keep in touch with our friends, and to make the effort to attend, maybe especially when we are single and feeling alone, bluesy... we don't have that 'other half' to encourage or even push or remind us of our duty to friends and the need to reciprocate eh?
But on our own we need to keep in mind that they (our friends) also sometimes feel the same and have still rallied to our sides (and usually we and they all felt better for the effort eh !)
APATHY though is the great killer of spirit and friendship ... if we turn down several (as fews as two sometimes) invitations then the friend will 'assume that they offended you somehow' and will cease inviting ... NO ONE likes to be rejected and refusing begins to look like rejection!
Stay safe n well and 'head up ...' It works !!!!!
:-)
Good one HexagonKeySet!
Are the tests free or do I have to pay for them?
ok!
I will continue being a "super friend"
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lifeisadream: Friends are wonderful, interesting, great people but.......
Lately I have been unenthusiastic to attend some friend’s gatherings and I have prefered to spend some time reading or just doing some cleaning at my place (having moved recently).
I just missed a friend’s 25th wedding anniversary with a big party. I just got tired of those social parties and I am getting bored of our more private gatherings, eventhough I value my friends.
How do you select your friends and how do they select you?
Do you ever get tired/bored of their company?
Do you feel that you need something else to fill yourself with?
Perhaps it is time for me to retire to a cave!
Lately I have been unenthusiastic to attend some friend’s gatherings and I have prefered to spend some time reading or just doing some cleaning at my place (having moved recently).
I just missed a friend’s 25th wedding anniversary with a big party. I just got tired of those social parties and I am getting bored of our more private gatherings, eventhough I value my friends.
How do you select your friends and how do they select you?
Do you ever get tired/bored of their company?
Do you feel that you need something else to fill yourself with?
Perhaps it is time for me to retire to a cave!
Well, I've tried the "pin the tail" and throwing darts methods, but people seemed to get hostile, especially if there was a lotta blood.
Perhaps the "eenie meenie miney mo" thing might work out better.
Whatever may or may not work, in the end it's all a crap's shoot, and you never really know someone until you've seen them in their underwear.
Or is it lived with them....
Anyway, I rarely ever get bored, even with friends, but I do get the feeling some may have become bored with me. S'ok, I'm not that exciting, and I usually have ways to entertain myself, even in the company of others.
Oh, and there's nothing wrong with living in a cave, I do.
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If I find a person interesting and INTELLIGENT, with an original thinking i.e. that doesn't bore me, then I want to be a friend of him/her. These things have nothing to do with the formal education or the lack of it. I have seen so many boring doctors and economists for example that I think they may have spoiled their personalities.
Women on the other hand choose a man by the looks and the clothes firstly and secondly how serious provider he can be.
I as a man find her beauty of shape/face and mind and soul first and foremost. The expensiveness of her clothes or accessories are of NO importance whatsoever.
Women on the other hand choose a man by the looks and the clothes firstly and secondly how serious provider he can be.
I as a man find her beauty of shape/face and mind and soul first and foremost. The expensiveness of her clothes or accessories are of NO importance whatsoever.
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lifeisadream:
I've been trying eenie meenie miney moe lately but it always ends on moe and I'm just not attracted.
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BB_snickers: I've been trying eenie meenie miney moe lately but it always ends on moe and I'm just not attracted.
Really?
Why don't you try with your other hand?
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lifeisadream: Really?
Why don't you try with your other hand?
Why don't you try with your other hand?
------ This thread is Archived ------
lifeisadream: Really?
Why don't you try with your other hand?
Why don't you try with your other hand?
I wasn't using a hand in the first place. ------ This thread is Archived ------
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I am sorry for it Happygolucky
Gee 34 y.o. and neumonia
One of my two best friends with whom I do share my personal life with is in her 30's.
With me, I do mingle with people very easily yet the same like you i do not open my friendship to every one that fast and I do prefer not to be around women/men that complain too much and do nothing to change their situation.
Confused?
Plese, do not worry about making me confused.
Thank you so much for taking your time and giving me those kind words about having my space and my preferences to attend my friends events.