Can you like someone if you want to change them? (76)
galrads: but then, what do we like about someone if you feel a need to change them. Where was the attraction to begin with. trying to change someone else reminds me of:
"Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself." - Leo Tolstoy
"Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself." - Leo Tolstoy
I said "To become a better version of themselves..."
To try and help someone show what they really are is an act of care...
We don't always have a realistic vision of ourselves, we don't realise some of the things we do are irritating or even damaging...
I would be happy if someone sees in me more than I see myself...
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galrads: Can you like someone if you want to change them?
Hi from what I have read, in regards to change, if you wanted to change someone never do that, because if you loved that person, you must to learn to love the imperfections.in time when the person is ready they will change for themselves, never change for anyone be yourself, and be true to yourself...
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sergio09: An old country song, "Take Me As I Am or Let Me Go"...later covered by Bob Dylan.
This is all I need to know
This is all I need to know
Or my saying take me for me, except me for who I am, take my heart and soul take me as who I am, Charlie is right :-)
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galrads: I am trying to speak in general terms. Saying something needs changing about somone also says you don't like the, really.. right? How can we like someone for who they are if we want to change anything about them?
Yes, so if you like this somone why would you want to change them?
Yes, so if you like this somone why would you want to change them?
In general terms you might like this person for a long time before even finding out there's something you dont like.
Its a good questions with a lot of branches to take out of it with different views and approaches.
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galrads: Can you like someone if you want to change them?
Believe me. We try to change haven't we heard the complain she/he doesn't listen to me?
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guysimple: Believe me. We try to change haven't we heard the complain she/he doesn't listen to me?
It learning how to communicate simple!
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Charliesangels22: It learning how to communicate simple!
But sometime its more like Order than communication
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sergio09: An old country song, "Take Me As I Am or Let Me Go"...later covered by Bob Dylan.
This is all I need to know
This is all I need to know
I can dig it.........
Why must you always try to make me over ?
Take me as I am or let me go
White lilies never grow on stalks of clover
Take me as I am or let me go.…
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Duromojon: back in the 80s I had this girlfriend, a smoker, I don't smoke.
She said to me, I'm going to stop smoking for you. I said, do it for yourself, not for me
if you really want to stop the smoking. anyway I never asked her to stop smoking, it was her money
not mine.
She said to me, I'm going to stop smoking for you. I said, do it for yourself, not for me
if you really want to stop the smoking. anyway I never asked her to stop smoking, it was her money
not mine.
so, you liked her as she was without any desire to change even that dirty smoking habit.......
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Charliesangels22: Hi from what I have read, in regards to change, if you wanted to change someone never do that, because if you loved that person, you must to learn to love the imperfections.in time when the person is ready they will change for themselves, never change for anyone be yourself, and be true to yourself...
I agree 100%. People grow to resent change just like most folks resent pity......
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guysimple: Believe me. We try to change haven't we heard the complain she/he doesn't listen to me?
yep, i'm guilty of a lot of things.
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galrads: Can you like someone if you want to change them?
The fact that u should want to change someone should be enough of a indication that they are not for you.
I've had relationships where I did wish they wud change but I think it's one of two things. 1. They are not meant for me or 2. We both were at different stages in our lives and our timing wasn't right.
I've also had relationships where I didn't want or felt annoyed by anything about th at person and in my eyes were perfect for me...but sadly didn't last as one of us was not over an ex....so it really is a matter of luck for me when it comes to relationships sadly.
I'm. Only ever interested in changing myself for the better..
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galrads: Can you like someone if you want to change them?
Ye I think you can like someone who you also feel should change some things about themselves, try to change someone who does not want to change is akin to spittin' into the wind, though.
I also think the less you feel someone needs to change, the more likely you are to be closer , better friends [whether it's a relationship, friend, family member]. because we have to accept others as they are for the most. People who focus in on changing others are too controlling
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galrads: Can you like someone if you want to change them?
I guess not...
..if my girlfriend is staying out late at nights..I just need to accept that she just needs time to clear her head.------ This thread is Archived ------
jono7: hiya galrads
I buy trail mix. It has raisins, dates, dried cranberry, cashews, almonds, peanuts and chocolate chips.
I don't really care for the dates, but I really like the chocolate. So I continue to buy it and just accept the dates.
People are packages....I don't expect to like absolutely everything about a person. If I like most of the package, I try to accept (or ignore) the parts I don't like as I know I can't change anyone other than myself.
I like a good Shiraz, but I don't want to drink it every day. With some folks, I enjoy their company but I wouldn't want to date them and seeing them socially every now and then is fine.
Getting into a relationship, knowing you want the person to change is a recipe for frustration if not heartbreak for one or both.
Cheers
I buy trail mix. It has raisins, dates, dried cranberry, cashews, almonds, peanuts and chocolate chips.
I don't really care for the dates, but I really like the chocolate. So I continue to buy it and just accept the dates.
People are packages....I don't expect to like absolutely everything about a person. If I like most of the package, I try to accept (or ignore) the parts I don't like as I know I can't change anyone other than myself.
I like a good Shiraz, but I don't want to drink it every day. With some folks, I enjoy their company but I wouldn't want to date them and seeing them socially every now and then is fine.
Getting into a relationship, knowing you want the person to change is a recipe for frustration if not heartbreak for one or both.
Cheers
I like a hearty, spicy deep red Shiraz
jono7------ This thread is Archived ------
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"Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself." - Leo Tolstoy
back in the 80s I had this girlfriend, a smoker, I don't smoke.
She said to me, I'm going to stop smoking for you. I said, do it for yourself, not for me
if you really want to stop the smoking. anyway I never asked her to stop smoking, it was her money
not mine.