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What works with cats is to let them come to you when they are new....that way....they can watch and decide when the right time is for them....with Harley my little boy I had to do that...he was this tiny cute little kitten full of growl and spit when he first got to my house...so I decided rather than trying to comfort him and scare him more that I would just go about my business and not pay any attention at all to him and the next day he was on my lap and still likes to get on my lap with the same kinda bounce he did on his first day.....