Seperated not legally though. (20)
.. No, there are no weird people on here... 
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bumblebeez: Have been contacted twice by different people, saying they're seperated but not legally. The 1st one was still living with his wife but he was very unhappy and hoped that i didn't mind....
Then another guy said he didnt live with his wife, and after chatting a few times asked when we could meet. So i told him we meet in the daytime at a cafe near where i live.. He said he can't as someone might see him and his kids won't like it, theyre 21 and 17. Turns out he's only been seperated a week lol.... Told him to speak to the wife and sort things out...Is it me or are there some weird guys out there?
honey, are you aware that there`s a deadly ,invisible virus out there ... get what you can Then another guy said he didnt live with his wife, and after chatting a few times asked when we could meet. So i told him we meet in the daytime at a cafe near where i live.. He said he can't as someone might see him and his kids won't like it, theyre 21 and 17. Turns out he's only been seperated a week lol.... Told him to speak to the wife and sort things out...Is it me or are there some weird guys out there?
dont take prisoners...hump their brains out ...
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Separated means still married. Not worth the time or effort to pursue. Plenty of single guys out there.
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I've noticed over the years that some people really don't like being alone.
It's not uncommon for people to seek the next relationship before leaving the one they're in so there's no 'all on my own' phase in the transition.
It's not weird in the sense of being strange, or an infrequent phenomenon, but it's perhaps emotionally immature and likely to be messy.
Even, or perhaps especially, when people decide to go their own ways amicably, there is very often a winding down period, a detachment phase. We invest a lot in relationships in all sorts of ways and it's difficult to switch that off. Remove the pressures of a relationship and we may remember how we saw that person in different circumstances. There is a grieving element to every loss.
We can take the time to detach, or we can transfer it someone else. It's emotionally simpler, more practical and generally less painful in many ways if we can transfer, but it will come with it's own set of complications.
One of those complications is that on the receiving end we may feel objectified: this person wants somebody, anybody to replace the object of their desires.
It's not uncommon for people to seek the next relationship before leaving the one they're in so there's no 'all on my own' phase in the transition.
It's not weird in the sense of being strange, or an infrequent phenomenon, but it's perhaps emotionally immature and likely to be messy.
Even, or perhaps especially, when people decide to go their own ways amicably, there is very often a winding down period, a detachment phase. We invest a lot in relationships in all sorts of ways and it's difficult to switch that off. Remove the pressures of a relationship and we may remember how we saw that person in different circumstances. There is a grieving element to every loss.
We can take the time to detach, or we can transfer it someone else. It's emotionally simpler, more practical and generally less painful in many ways if we can transfer, but it will come with it's own set of complications.
One of those complications is that on the receiving end we may feel objectified: this person wants somebody, anybody to replace the object of their desires.
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jac_the_gripper: I've noticed over the years that some people really don't like being alone.
It's not uncommon for people to seek the next relationship before leaving the one they're in so there's no 'all on my own' phase in the transition.
It's not weird in the sense of being strange, or an infrequent phenomenon, but it's perhaps emotionally immature and likely to be messy.
Even, or perhaps especially, when people decide to go their own ways amicably, there is very often a winding down period, a detachment phase. We invest a lot in relationships in all sorts of ways and it's difficult to switch that off. Remove the pressures of a relationship and we may remember how we saw that person in different circumstances. There is a grieving element to every loss.
We can take the time to detach, or we can transfer it someone else. It's emotionally simpler, more practical and generally less painful in many ways if we can transfer, but it will come with it's own set of complications.
One of those complications is that on the receiving end we may feel objectified: this person wants somebody, anybody to replace the object of their desires.
I have known a few people who preferred to be with their worst enemy than be alone. It's not uncommon for people to seek the next relationship before leaving the one they're in so there's no 'all on my own' phase in the transition.
It's not weird in the sense of being strange, or an infrequent phenomenon, but it's perhaps emotionally immature and likely to be messy.
Even, or perhaps especially, when people decide to go their own ways amicably, there is very often a winding down period, a detachment phase. We invest a lot in relationships in all sorts of ways and it's difficult to switch that off. Remove the pressures of a relationship and we may remember how we saw that person in different circumstances. There is a grieving element to every loss.
We can take the time to detach, or we can transfer it someone else. It's emotionally simpler, more practical and generally less painful in many ways if we can transfer, but it will come with it's own set of complications.
One of those complications is that on the receiving end we may feel objectified: this person wants somebody, anybody to replace the object of their desires.
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galrads: I have known a few people who preferred to be with their worst enemy than be alone.
I don't get it either, but then lots of people won't get how I can be content mostly in my own company.There's no right, or wrong if it works for one person on their own, or a couple together. It can just get messy for one person in a couple, or people around them.
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I steer clear of men that are not DIVORCED and have had time to learn the lessons needed to be learned from that experience. It seems like a good majority of the male population can't wait to put their 'fabulous' selves back out there before they are even close to being ready. RUN.
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debokanagan: I steer clear of men that are not DIVORCED and have had time to learn the lessons needed to be learned from that experience. It seems like a good majority of the male population can't wait to put their 'fabulous' selves back out there before they are even close to being ready. RUN.
I have a friend who raised his kids as a single parent, but only recently got round to getting a divorce now they're all in their 20's and 30's.The motivation was to make sure his kids inherited his house if he popped his clogs.
Is the paperwork the priority? A relationship can be well and truly over without a divorce and a divorce doesn't necessarily end a relationship.
I'd say someone's emotional, rather than marital status is the salient feature with respect to their ability to develop a new intimate relationship.
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bumblebeez: Have been contacted twice by different people, saying they're seperated but not legally. The 1st one was still living with his wife but he was very unhappy and hoped that i didn't mind....
Then another guy said he didnt live with his wife, and after chatting a few times asked when we could meet. So i told him we meet in the daytime at a cafe near where i live.. He said he can't as someone might see him and his kids won't like it, theyre 21 and 17. Turns out he's only been seperated a week lol.... Told him to speak to the wife and sort things out...Is it me or are there some weird guys out there?
Oh for sure there are and you've just landed in the place where they all congregate, their last bastion of free speech and highly questionable behaviour.....the forums lolThen another guy said he didnt live with his wife, and after chatting a few times asked when we could meet. So i told him we meet in the daytime at a cafe near where i live.. He said he can't as someone might see him and his kids won't like it, theyre 21 and 17. Turns out he's only been seperated a week lol.... Told him to speak to the wife and sort things out...Is it me or are there some weird guys out there?
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galrads: I have known a few people who preferred to be with their worst enemy than be alone.
My worst enemy hated me and I him...... but sure things happen doncha know ------ This thread is Archived ------
I went on date few months ago with man that was separated spoke about his wife several times . It felt so wrong to be sitting there I cut the date short and went home.
He had been separated 6 months but still called her his wife I told him when he stopped referring to her as his wife that’s when he was ready to date. He disagreed and felt he was ready but her was clearly still very much in love with her.
So for me no more separated men
He had been separated 6 months but still called her his wife I told him when he stopped referring to her as his wife that’s when he was ready to date. He disagreed and felt he was ready but her was clearly still very much in love with her.
So for me no more separated men
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bumblebeez: Have been contacted twice by different people, saying they're seperated but not legally. The 1st one was still living with his wife but he was very unhappy and hoped that i didn't mind....
Then another guy said he didnt live with his wife, and after chatting a few times asked when we could meet. So i told him we meet in the daytime at a cafe near where i live.. He said he can't as someone might see him and his kids won't like it, theyre 21 and 17. Turns out he's only been seperated a week lol.... Told him to speak to the wife and sort things out...Is it me or are there some weird guys out there?
There have been men like this since I was younger always chasing other women, flirting, and want their cake and eat it too. Fortunately, there are more good ones though. Good luck!Then another guy said he didnt live with his wife, and after chatting a few times asked when we could meet. So i told him we meet in the daytime at a cafe near where i live.. He said he can't as someone might see him and his kids won't like it, theyre 21 and 17. Turns out he's only been seperated a week lol.... Told him to speak to the wife and sort things out...Is it me or are there some weird guys out there?
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debokanagan: I steer clear of men that are not DIVORCED and have had time to learn the lessons needed to be learned from that experience. It seems like a good majority of the male population can't wait to put their 'fabulous' selves back out there before they are even close to being ready. RUN.
I’m always suspicious of anyone who seems in a hurry for something as important as involving another person in their personal life. It’s a bright, neon, flashing red light.------ This thread is Archived ------
spungey: There have been men like this since I was younger always chasing other women, flirting, and want their cake and eat it too. Fortunately, there are more good ones though. Good luck!
thank you so much for keeping this optimistic approach. As frustrating as the “duds” are, it’s well to remember that there are still many lovely folks on the planet. Here’s a baker’s dozen to start your day:
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Butterflygirl1: I went on date few months ago with man that was separated spoke about his wife several times . It felt so wrong to be sitting there I cut the date short and went home.
He had been separated 6 months but still called her his wife I told him when he stopped referring to her as his wife that’s when he was ready to date. He disagreed and felt he was ready but her was clearly still very much in love with her.
So for me no more separated men
looking for a therapist, not a date. (Poor soul)He had been separated 6 months but still called her his wife I told him when he stopped referring to her as his wife that’s when he was ready to date. He disagreed and felt he was ready but her was clearly still very much in love with her.
So for me no more separated men
Bless you...I bet you were kind to him, anyway.
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mbken: Separated means still married. Not worth the time or effort to pursue. Plenty of single guys out there.
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rohaan: looking for a therapist, not a date. (Poor soul)
Bless you...I bet you were kind to him, anyway.
We should always be kind Bless you...I bet you were kind to him, anyway.
You just never know what the other person has going on
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Sawdust_Molly: To make a long story short (I don' gonna give details)
I married a man from NC 10 years ago, traveling up and down for 4 years before the marriage ( K1 Visum)
After the marriage, the true nature came above,... the whole family was a scam, included my dear new husband, I was exploited financially and thrown away when my financial resources were exhausted. I literally fled back home (Europe).
My marriage is not registered in my home country, therefore I'm not married under European law, but I'm married under US law. so whatever my status, for myself I'm not married, but single. separated as you call it.
I have been exploited, humiliated and abused. This happened 10 years ago, but the scars are still fresh.
I don't want to be blamed or whatever, what happened, happened, I'm moving on with my life, just want to make a point, for some of us separeted is the same as being divorced or being single, just the "status" on paper is missing.
Sorry that happened to you I married a man from NC 10 years ago, traveling up and down for 4 years before the marriage ( K1 Visum)
After the marriage, the true nature came above,... the whole family was a scam, included my dear new husband, I was exploited financially and thrown away when my financial resources were exhausted. I literally fled back home (Europe).
My marriage is not registered in my home country, therefore I'm not married under European law, but I'm married under US law. so whatever my status, for myself I'm not married, but single. separated as you call it.
I have been exploited, humiliated and abused. This happened 10 years ago, but the scars are still fresh.
I don't want to be blamed or whatever, what happened, happened, I'm moving on with my life, just want to make a point, for some of us separeted is the same as being divorced or being single, just the "status" on paper is missing.
A good example of why we shouldn’t
view everyone the same
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Sawdust_Molly: To make a long story short (I don' gonna give details)
I married a man from NC 10 years ago, traveling up and down for 4 years before the marriage ( K1 Visum)
After the marriage, the true nature came above,... the whole family was a scam, included my dear new husband, I was exploited financially and thrown away when my financial resources were exhausted. I literally fled back home (Europe).
My marriage is not registered in my home country, therefore I'm not married under European law, but I'm married under US law. so whatever my status, for myself I'm not married, but single. separated as you call it.
I have been exploited, humiliated and abused. This happened 10 years ago, but the scars are still fresh.
I don't want to be blamed or whatever, what happened, happened, I'm moving on with my life, just want to make a point, for some of us separeted is the same as being divorced or being single, just the "status" on paper is missing.
Molly, I wanted to send this to you in private email but your settings won't let me into your livingroom.I married a man from NC 10 years ago, traveling up and down for 4 years before the marriage ( K1 Visum)
After the marriage, the true nature came above,... the whole family was a scam, included my dear new husband, I was exploited financially and thrown away when my financial resources were exhausted. I literally fled back home (Europe).
My marriage is not registered in my home country, therefore I'm not married under European law, but I'm married under US law. so whatever my status, for myself I'm not married, but single. separated as you call it.
I have been exploited, humiliated and abused. This happened 10 years ago, but the scars are still fresh.
I don't want to be blamed or whatever, what happened, happened, I'm moving on with my life, just want to make a point, for some of us separeted is the same as being divorced or being single, just the "status" on paper is missing.
My description of what I think separated means does not relate to what happened to you and I therefore apologize for generalizing the word.
I'm sorry that you went through that. I can relate to a financial scam that happened to me 15 years ago. My resources were also exhausted. When I walked away I put the experience in the junk drawer and never thought about him again.
People are strong creatures. We take a lot of mistreatment but eventually we usually rise above it.
I hope you are happy now and wish you the best of everything
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Then another guy said he didnt live with his wife, and after chatting a few times asked when we could meet. So i told him we meet in the daytime at a cafe near where i live.. He said he can't as someone might see him and his kids won't like it, theyre 21 and 17. Turns out he's only been seperated a week lol.... Told him to speak to the wife and sort things out...Is it me or are there some weird guys out there?