How do you build trust ? ( Archived) (50)

bodleing2: Depends on what kind of trust you mean. The common view of trust could be described as relying on someone for a further action. The dictionary definition is, "having a confident dependence on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something." It's something we assess from past experience and project into the future but it's open to appraisal and subject to change.
It's totally necessary in society, personal relationships and many of our day to day interactions.
I've heard it described as 'transactional trust', you do this for me and I'll do this for you. Within relationships this trust could build over a period of time but could end in an instant. Transactional trust is an emotional response to what you've experienced in the past and is subject to change by future experience....it's fundamentally fragile.
Another form of trust could be termed, 'Innate trust' which is built on more solid foundations.
Its when you have the intention to act according to your values even in difficult or confusing situations, you trust your life will unfold in the most harmonious manner possible....below is a short extract about Innate trust by Phillip Moffitt...

"Implicit in innate trust is the understanding that external conditions are in the end not a reliable source of happiness or meaning because they are always changing. You don't get what you want, or you get it and then it goes away or you no longer want it, or else something happens to you and you can no longer enjoy it. Innate trusts accepts the hard facts of life that things are always changing in this manner, the future is uncertain, and wants and fears are endless."

Then there is always what you might call, 'demand trust'. It goes something like, I'll trust you to do as I'm asking. Its trying to force what can only be freely given. Ironically, it icould be called, distrust disguised as trust. Beware of that one...

galrads: Well, don’t we all try developing different levels and kinds of trust with others on professional and personnel different levels? A dentist wants patients to trust his abilities differing from a pilot flying you on a private flight. We want our more intimate relationships to trust us in a different way to. By validating I mean being thoughtful and listening to opinions and
Well, don’t we all try developing different levels and kinds of trust with others on professional and personnel different levels? A dentist wants patients to trust his abilities differing from a pilot flying you on a private flight. We want our more intimate relationships to trust us in a different way to. By validating I mean being thoughtful and listening to opinions and maybe disagreeing with someone without shutting them down. Diplomacy has never been a strength of mine which has been a problem developing trust with some people. I’ll shut up now.

Selenite: I get what you mean by validating now!! The opposite of being dismissive …

As for pilots and dentists, I have implicit trust in the training they received … both could ruin the quality of your life just by pressing the wrong button …

One could shorten it for ever and the other could make you have to eat liquidised veg for ever
Yet not many of us get to check on the professional record of our pilots when we travel, unlike dentists who we can pick trough recommendations

bodleing2: Depends on what kind of trust you mean. The common view of trust could be described as relying on someone for a further action. The dictionary definition is, "having a confident dependence on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something." It's something we assess from past experience and project into the future but it's open to appraisal and subject to change.
It's totally necessary in society, personal relationships and many of our day to day interactions.
I've heard it described as 'transactional trust', you do this for me and I'll do this for you. Within relationships this trust could build over a period of time but could end in an instant. Transactional trust is an emotional response to what you've experienced in the past and is subject to change by future experience....it's fundamentally fragile.
Another form of trust could be termed, 'Innate trust' which is built on more solid foundations.
Its when you have the intention to act according to your values even in difficult or confusing situations, you trust your life will unfold in the most harmonious manner possible....below is a short extract about Innate trust by Phillip Moffitt...

"Implicit in innate trust is the understanding that external conditions are in the end not a reliable source of happiness or meaning because they are always changing. You don't get what you want, or you get it and then it goes away or you no longer want it, or else something happens to you and you can no longer enjoy it. Innate trusts accepts the hard facts of life that things are always changing in this manner, the future is uncertain, and wants and fears are endless."

Then there is always what you might call, 'demand trust'. It goes something like, I'll trust you to do as I'm asking. Its trying to force what can only be freely given. Ironically, it icould be called, distrust disguised as trust. Beware of that one...

galrads: Yes and then there is this weird unconscious trust say where we feel comfortable being in multi story buildings not knowing or caring to know the qualifications of architects, engineers, laborers, materials use inspectors involved in its construction and maintenance. Have you ever been in the top of a 110 story building during a windy day? And wondered about these things.

galrads: Yes and then there is this weird unconscious trust say where we feel comfortable being in multi story buildings not knowing or caring to know the qualifications of architects, engineers, laborers, materials use inspectors involved in its construction and maintenance. Have you ever been in the top of a 110 story building during a windy day? And wondered about these things.