How do you keep your 'Love' alive: Despite time, aging, quarrells, sickness.....? (160)
Lonely1: That is what I meant when I stated that there are some great life partners on this site, but life sucks sometimes.
Sometimes it does. Life isn't fair it just is.
Sometimes you're lucky at finding the right person and sometimes you aren't.
I'd be afraid to take that leap again but sometimes life is all about taking chances isn't it.
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Miss you Somechick. Hope all is well
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LethalLove: We've never stopped valuing each other as friends....even when I want to bang him over the head with the frying pan....and he wants to push me off a cliff.
He's my best mate..I can tell him anything, and I do....so does he...(and half the time I wish he wouldn't ).
7 years.... yes, with separation in the middle...even when we weren't lovers and partners...we were the best of mates...and still are, now, again as partners.
He's my best mate..I can tell him anything, and I do....so does he...(and half the time I wish he wouldn't ).
7 years.... yes, with separation in the middle...even when we weren't lovers and partners...we were the best of mates...and still are, now, again as partners.
You guys seem like you are in love.
I have sometimes wondered if the saying 'You always hurt the one you love' is true. I also wanted a quiet and peaceful life with lots of 'yes dears', 'I agree dear', etc.
Am I expecting too much?
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LethalLove: I can't answer that! Only you can.For us, if either of us are saying yes dear...we know we are being sarcastic..
Ours is volatile, passionate, real... We're two intensely confident and capable people, who have individual opinions, but a deep respect for the individuality of each other.
There's no secret formula...it just is what it is...we live, laugh, fight and love deeply, is all.
Ours is volatile, passionate, real... We're two intensely confident and capable people, who have individual opinions, but a deep respect for the individuality of each other.
There's no secret formula...it just is what it is...we live, laugh, fight and love deeply, is all.
LOL. Somehow I get the impression you are pulling my legs. Are you guys REALLY still together?
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shipoker58: DIVORCE
..........
.......................J.D
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Lonely1: I think I have met my match.
......Come on Dude, don't give up to easily with Sommer....
J.D
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virgiomonkey: ......Come on Dude, don't give up to easily with Sommer....
J.D
J.D
She is one smart cookie. She will not allow anyone to TAKE her.
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Lonely1: She is one smart cookie. She will not allow anyone to TAKE her.
.....There is a way, my Friend......
J.D
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Wow, this is interesting. I suppose I'd keep love alive by not expecting perfection, knowing that my lover is human just like me and makes mistakes. I'd realize that he's not going to be or do everything I want him to because he's an individual like me. I have a responsibility to communicate my needs but not to insist on my wants: we are not children and know we can't have everything. I would know that he needs his own private life just like I need mine; there should be things we don't do together, we are not each other's shadow. It takes trust, patience and hope, humility and forgiveness. The concept of love is perfect, there are all kinds of stories about "happily ever after." But life is what happens when we're making other plans, we're not heroic all the time. People lose jobs and limbs and grow older. They forget who they are. Some of them have the secret to hanging in there. It's work. I know that.
I also know that no one should stay in a relationship that humiliates or diminishes them. If a person has a drinking, drug or violence problem and they won't change, sometimes the only thing we can do is leave. By staying, we help keep them sick.
I also think we should treat our lover as a dear and valued friend. Many of us would never treat our mate like we treat our best friends.
Hope that makes some sense.
I also know that no one should stay in a relationship that humiliates or diminishes them. If a person has a drinking, drug or violence problem and they won't change, sometimes the only thing we can do is leave. By staying, we help keep them sick.
I also think we should treat our lover as a dear and valued friend. Many of us would never treat our mate like we treat our best friends.
Hope that makes some sense.
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You are overthinking everything too much. I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone who had all of that on their mind. Relax
and let things happen, don't sweat the small stuff. One step at a time
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Lonely1: You guys seem like you are in love.
I have sometimes wondered if the saying 'You always hurt the one you love' is true. I also wanted a quiet and peaceful life with lots of 'yes dears', 'I agree dear', etc.
Am I expecting too much?
I have sometimes wondered if the saying 'You always hurt the one you love' is true. I also wanted a quiet and peaceful life with lots of 'yes dears', 'I agree dear', etc.
Am I expecting too much?
Most of the men I've been with long term know that something's very wrong when I go into "Yes, Dear" mode. Anyone who truly loves me knows that is not me, and wouldn't want me to be like that. Good luck, Lonely1. And welcome back. I've missed you on here.------ This thread is Archived ------
Have a wild,romantic hotel swing
every other week,if not often.
every other week,if not often.
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Oh! This is a play thread! Ooops sorry I came here....later K
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buy some good ear plugs and a recliner................
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seekingasoulmate: You are overthinking everything too much. I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone who had all of that on their mind. Relaxand let things happen, don't sweat the small stuff. One step at a time
Interesting post. I understand the part about not sweating the small stuff, but what if you were married to a doctor, a lawyer, an accountant, a politician, or even a policeman. They have to think a lot each day.
However, it is easy to forget a birthday, or an anniversary. One can also overlook a slight put down, etc, but if it is consistent? Plus how would you tell if your mate was cheating on you?
I see your point, and I know I am being devils advocate here, but we all have a brain which we should put to use each day.
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"SomeChick" --- not just anychick
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druidess6308: Most of the men I've been with long term know that something's very wrong when I go into "Yes, Dear" mode. Anyone who truly loves me knows that is not me, and wouldn't want me to be like that. Good luck, Lonely1. And welcome back. I've missed you on here.
Yes, Dear. I missed you too.
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CuspofMagic: "SomeChick" --- not just anychick
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I feel it begins to strenghten with Maturity, some at 25 Yrs old and some at 50, but it is when we BOTH learn selfrespect and live it, and use it, to keep that bond togather and respect each other, So,
One must learn selfrespect, before they can Respect the the other, When they both respect each other, they both do whatever it takes to do MORE than their part, and both give Extra Special attentyion, and dont do things that are going to Damage it..... It Must be given Care, just as a plant, It starts as a seed, then it sproughts and as you give it Sun and water, give it nutrition to grow, and in time, It should produce a wonderful Relationship!!!!!!!
But It MUST BE BOTH working at it and never slack up , It Can Flourish, and Be Wonderful..... But many are selfish and take fron it instead of adding .....
Like a Bank account , If you ad and respect it ,and feed it, it will Grow, more, more
If you keep making withdrawls, it will soon be a CLOSED ACCOUNT
One must learn selfrespect, before they can Respect the the other, When they both respect each other, they both do whatever it takes to do MORE than their part, and both give Extra Special attentyion, and dont do things that are going to Damage it..... It Must be given Care, just as a plant, It starts as a seed, then it sproughts and as you give it Sun and water, give it nutrition to grow, and in time, It should produce a wonderful Relationship!!!!!!!
But It MUST BE BOTH working at it and never slack up , It Can Flourish, and Be Wonderful..... But many are selfish and take fron it instead of adding .....
Like a Bank account , If you ad and respect it ,and feed it, it will Grow, more, more
If you keep making withdrawls, it will soon be a CLOSED ACCOUNT
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The first thing you want to do is add a little excitement now and then. Pretend it’s your first date and dress and bathe and act accordingly. Don’t assume because she loves you she won’t care that you’re slovenly or don’t listen to his stories.
Change the old routines a little, liven up your schedule. Add a little excitement, a little romantic night on the town, a cozy winter’s night by the fireplace in a cabin in the woods for the weekend.
Set aside one day a week, or at least every two weeks for a few hours alone together, with absolutely no interruptions. Be spontaneous.
Put your partner back on the pedestal you had her or him on when you first fell in love. Be realistic of course, but focus on his or her unique gifts.
How to keep your love alive is to remind yourself that your partner is special. Buy yourself a journal or a notebook. Write down what he or she does each day that makes him or her sweet or loving or special in your eyes. Write down as well how you felt about your mate when you first met. Look at how those things still exist.
How to keep your love alive is to let your love inside your head and your heart. If you find yourself criticizing, stop. Even if your complaint is valid, it’s often about a minor detail that can be overlooked. After all, keeping your love alive isn’t minor.
Understanding both of your expectations and realizing what can and can’t be fulfilled – what is and isn’t realistic is part of how to keep your love alive as well. Sometimes we have disappointments in our life that we blame on our partner, and it’s really our own failures – or caused by outside forces.
Sometimes we fixate on what we didn’t get to the point that we’re unable to see what gifts we do have. Focusing on the positive things that have come from our relationship is part of how to keep your love alive.
Another realization that’s important as well, is that our mates, our partners, our spouses are not responsible for our own happiness. We are responsible for our happiness. Putting too much responsibility on our partners to make us happy is not fair, and a hefty burden for her or him to carry.
Making a happy and fulfilled bit of life outside of your relationship with your mate is part of how to keep your love alive as well.
That is what I meant when I stated that there are some great life partners on this site, but life sucks sometimes.