How do you keep your 'Love' alive: Despite time, aging, quarrells, sickness.....? (160)
Being loving and sharing love keeps love alive. Being loving and sharing love means:
When each person learns to take responsibility for their own feelings rather than making the other person responsible for their feelings of worth, lovability, security, happiness, joy or pain.
When each person has their own and their partner’s highest good at heart. when we both support our own and our partner’s joy and well being. Both of us are considerate of the other person without giving ourselves up.
When each person chooses to be honest and authentic about how we feel and what we want and don’t want. That we are each willing to speak our truth without blame or judgment.
That each person stays open to learning about our own and our partner’s wants, needs, and fears, especially in conflict.
I think what keeps love alive is each person’s willingness to do whatever inner work is necessary to keep the heart open to loving and learning. Controlling behavior is motivated by fear – of loss of self and loss of other, of engulfment and rejection, of smothering and abandonment.
When each person is willing to do the inner work necessary to heal these fears, they are able to keep their hearts open more and more of the time. Love flows freely when hearts are open to loving and learning.
JMO
When each person learns to take responsibility for their own feelings rather than making the other person responsible for their feelings of worth, lovability, security, happiness, joy or pain.
When each person has their own and their partner’s highest good at heart. when we both support our own and our partner’s joy and well being. Both of us are considerate of the other person without giving ourselves up.
When each person chooses to be honest and authentic about how we feel and what we want and don’t want. That we are each willing to speak our truth without blame or judgment.
That each person stays open to learning about our own and our partner’s wants, needs, and fears, especially in conflict.
I think what keeps love alive is each person’s willingness to do whatever inner work is necessary to keep the heart open to loving and learning. Controlling behavior is motivated by fear – of loss of self and loss of other, of engulfment and rejection, of smothering and abandonment.
When each person is willing to do the inner work necessary to heal these fears, they are able to keep their hearts open more and more of the time. Love flows freely when hearts are open to loving and learning.
JMO
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somechick: Being loving and sharing love keeps love alive. Being loving and sharing love means:
When each person learns to take responsibility for their own feelings rather than making the other person responsible for their feelings of worth, lovability, security, happiness, joy or pain.
When each person has their own and their partner’s highest good at heart. when we both support our own and our partner’s joy and well being. Both of us are considerate of the other person without giving ourselves up.
When each person chooses to be honest and authentic about how we feel and what we want and don’t want. That we are each willing to speak our truth without blame or judgment.
That each person stays open to learning about our own and our partner’s wants, needs, and fears, especially in conflict.
I think what keeps love alive is each person’s willingness to do whatever inner work is necessary to keep the heart open to loving and learning. Controlling behavior is motivated by fear – of loss of self and loss of other, of engulfment and rejection, of smothering and abandonment.
When each person is willing to do the inner work necessary to heal these fears, they are able to keep their hearts open more and more of the time. Love flows freely when hearts are open to loving and learning.JMO
When each person learns to take responsibility for their own feelings rather than making the other person responsible for their feelings of worth, lovability, security, happiness, joy or pain.
When each person has their own and their partner’s highest good at heart. when we both support our own and our partner’s joy and well being. Both of us are considerate of the other person without giving ourselves up.
When each person chooses to be honest and authentic about how we feel and what we want and don’t want. That we are each willing to speak our truth without blame or judgment.
That each person stays open to learning about our own and our partner’s wants, needs, and fears, especially in conflict.
I think what keeps love alive is each person’s willingness to do whatever inner work is necessary to keep the heart open to loving and learning. Controlling behavior is motivated by fear – of loss of self and loss of other, of engulfment and rejection, of smothering and abandonment.
When each person is willing to do the inner work necessary to heal these fears, they are able to keep their hearts open more and more of the time. Love flows freely when hearts are open to loving and learning.JMO
Why do women so often state YOU hurt MY feelings??
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Keeping my GRATITUDE list in check.
Off to work.
Off to work.
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Make sure she gets hers before I get mine.
Remember folks: this is an "How To - as in 'Actions'" thread, not a 'What we think it should be, thread.'
Remember folks: this is an "How To - as in 'Actions'" thread, not a 'What we think it should be, thread.'
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if I knew that I wouldn't be here.
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lifeabundant: if I knew that I wouldn't be here.
You are so right. Maybe I should leave....
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I can't even begin to answer this...I've never had a marriage last long enough! 
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druidess6308: I can't even begin to answer this...I've never had a marriage last long enough!
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druidess6308: I can't even begin to answer this...I've never had a marriage last long enough!
With so many experienced people on CS you will get lots of feedback.
When he ask you to jump, always say 'How high?"
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Lonely1: With so many experienced people on CS you will get lots of feedback.
When he ask you to jump, always say 'How high?"
When he ask you to jump, always say 'How high?"
I thought that was the other way around...when she asks you to jump, always say 'How high?'
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Cary0608: Keeping the relationship intact invloves a conscious and lifetime decision from the people involved to stick it out with each other. the cliche 'it takes two to tango' would be applicable.
Actually, the best way to make the relationship work is to not make any mistakes.
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You just do, if it is love then it will survive, or it should...
Whatever has happened, yet people give up...
There are not many things that I would not forgive, I have forgiven many, that does not make me a doormat, nor does it make me take anything, but if I love a person I would do anything to help it survive, like a child or animal that needs love, you feed it, nurture it, help it, love it...
Yet some people are never able to grasp that context...
Whatever has happened, yet people give up...
There are not many things that I would not forgive, I have forgiven many, that does not make me a doormat, nor does it make me take anything, but if I love a person I would do anything to help it survive, like a child or animal that needs love, you feed it, nurture it, help it, love it...
Yet some people are never able to grasp that context...
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Sommerauer71: You just do, if it is love then it will survive, or it should...
Whatever has happened, yet people give up...
There are not many things that I would not forgive, I have forgiven many, that does not make me a doormat, nor does it make me take anything, but if I love a person I would do anything to help it survive, like a child or animal that needs love, you feed it, nurture it, help it, love it...
Yet some people are never able to grasp that context...
Whatever has happened, yet people give up...
There are not many things that I would not forgive, I have forgiven many, that does not make me a doormat, nor does it make me take anything, but if I love a person I would do anything to help it survive, like a child or animal that needs love, you feed it, nurture it, help it, love it...
Yet some people are never able to grasp that context...
So true, Sommer. Sometimes I feel, however, that a little shaking up, so to speak, is in order. I mean, if I am always coming home drunk, which upsets you, and you argue with me about it, you would think I would learn, right?
I think some marriages end because some people don't learn from their mistakes......etc. Also some mistakes are forgiven, but never forgotten. So we always think about it and wonder when it is going to happen again. Plus, when we believe someone deliberately set out to hurt us, the line between forgive and forget becomes blurred.
Of course, my feeling is that some divorces first began as a dare, and for no other good reason. JMO
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shipoker58: DIVORCE
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Communication is a big thing in a relationship, Something I learned to late.
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Dknew: Communication is a big thing in a relationship, Something I learned to late.
So is friendship,compassion,understanding.
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somechick: So is friendship,compassion,understanding.
and forgetting.
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Not sure about this. However a battered or unloved spouse would see ANY grass as greener.
I agree. My question is geared more to one simply not getting enough (of whatever).
I must state this. In every breakup, I DID play a role but it was after the fact that I seen my role.