Don't Tell Everything (99)
I live by the belief...don't ask if you don't want to know!! if she asks...I'll tell her!!
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I believe especially when my partner ask me questions to share it with him, I wouldn't go into details though. But that's just how I am, totally open. Doesn't mean my belief here is how it should be done.
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I agree, the past is the past. If you talk too much about your past, they will either see the guys/girls in you past as competition if things went well, or a looser if they didn't. It's kind of a no win situation. I would only tell them what may have a direct influence on the new relationship.
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If you both truely click together, then the other person should be able to read into what you are comfortable talking about and what you are not comfortable with and respect said boundries. (Just my opinion)
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brokenspirit: If and when you meet someone, you both click and decide you
want to build a life together. He/ She asks you questions about
your ex. Will you be honest and tell them what they want to know,
or keep some things to yourself?
I personally think I would want the past left in the past. You are
starting a new journey with someone and it should be your
experience, not involving who you were with at one time.(JMO)
want to build a life together. He/ She asks you questions about
your ex. Will you be honest and tell them what they want to know,
or keep some things to yourself?
I personally think I would want the past left in the past. You are
starting a new journey with someone and it should be your
experience, not involving who you were with at one time.(JMO)
I would be honest and tell them...a relationship to me is based on full and total trust and honesty so if that's what I am asking for...then I need to be open and do the same thing.....
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mylifewithu: I believe especially when my partner ask me questions to share it with him, I wouldn't go into details though. But that's just how I am, totally open. Doesn't mean my belief here is how it should be done.
If they ask I would probably give the only brief details.
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shipoker58: I live by the belief...don't ask if you don't want to know!! if she asks...I'll tell her!!
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I feel no shame from any of the events of my past relationships and feel nothing is to be treated as shameful or embarrassing. I do however, respect the privacy of personal details.
I answers any questions that need be, but I do not indulge in the specifics for the sake of a weak ego.
I answers any questions that need be, but I do not indulge in the specifics for the sake of a weak ego.
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If they were to ask, I'd tell them. I'd probably also ask home much of the details do they want.
I know in some ways I would be curious about his past and why a marriage didn't work. Basically just to make sure that I don't do the same thing his ex did.
I know in some ways I would be curious about his past and why a marriage didn't work. Basically just to make sure that I don't do the same thing his ex did.
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I base my judgement (which is defective and unreliable) on my life as a worst case scenario.
I am pretty open, some things are private and i just wont talk about period.
I think at present it's not fair to drag anyone into my life that isnt fully aware how miserable it is.
That way when they find out why i am depressed and run ragged it wont be a surprise.
I am pretty open, some things are private and i just wont talk about period.
I think at present it's not fair to drag anyone into my life that isnt fully aware how miserable it is.
That way when they find out why i am depressed and run ragged it wont be a surprise.
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I would be compleatly honest because that's just the way I am,no fear,nothing to hide.Being honest and open allows me to connect with "my kind of people" and if someone does not like who I am, well that's ok too I mean theres,how many billion other people in the world?
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My mother used to say, "You don't have to lie to him... you just don't have to tell him the WHOLE truth!" I realized she was right after my ex-husband kept getting so jealous over exes of mine. 
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mylifewithu: Of course that's true
I kind of learned this lesson the hard way. Not everyone is ready for the total truth.
Ex: Do I look fat in this dress? I probably wouldn't say, you sure do. I might say that I like the other dress better.
Ex: Am I really good in bed. No, you totally suck. I would probably say you are really good at xyz, but I would like to try...
So, I guess there are ways to tell the truth without being blunt, but if I can avoid telling them things I know will be hurtful to them, I will keept quite unless there is a direct impact on the current relationship.
Ex: lets say I had a ex-boyfriend who was a stalker, I would probably tell the guy I'm with for safety reasons.
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Hugz_n_Kissez: Yeah that's just a tad bit too much info....I was thinking more about what the relationship was like or why you broke up...those kinds of questions....
That makes sense. It is helpful to not make the same mistakes as the ex.
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brokenspirit: If and when you meet someone, you both click and decide you
want to build a life together. He/ She asks you questions about
your ex. Will you be honest and tell them what they want to know,
or keep some things to yourself?
I personally think I would want the past left in the past. You are
starting a new journey with someone and it should be your
experience, not involving who you were with at one time.(JMO)
want to build a life together. He/ She asks you questions about
your ex. Will you be honest and tell them what they want to know,
or keep some things to yourself?
I personally think I would want the past left in the past. You are
starting a new journey with someone and it should be your
experience, not involving who you were with at one time.(JMO)
I think it depends on what exactly they want to know. There are things that could be pertinent to the current relationship between you two that need to be understood based on your past relationship experiences.
Although the past is the past, it's also part of who we are today. What I won't do is discuss it in the bedroom, esp in bed together. That should be a sacred space for just the two of you now.
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Da10th: Don't take this the wrong way, but it sounds like your ex was a bit of a fruitcake.
Yeah, that would kind of creep me out a little.
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druidess6308: I think it depends on what exactly they want to know. There are things that could be pertinent to the current relationship between you two that need to be understood based on your past relationship experiences.
Although the past is the past, it's also part of who we are today. What I won't do is discuss it in the bedroom, esp in bed together. That should be a sacred space for just the two of you now.
Although the past is the past, it's also part of who we are today. What I won't do is discuss it in the bedroom, esp in bed together. That should be a sacred space for just the two of you now.
hit the nail right on the head. time and a place for everything.
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druidess6308: I think it depends on what exactly they want to know. There are things that could be pertinent to the current relationship between you two that need to be understood based on your past relationship experiences.
Although the past is the past, it's also part of who we are today. What I won't do is discuss it in the bedroom, esp in bed together. That should be a sacred space for just the two of you now.
Although the past is the past, it's also part of who we are today. What I won't do is discuss it in the bedroom, esp in bed together. That should be a sacred space for just the two of you now.
Thank you Dru, That is exactly how I feel, but guess at the time
I was still in the old school of you have to keep your man happy
if you want him to not stray. So many unpleasant things happened
the 2 years I was with this man, I won't mention most of them.
But as I have stated, my trust has taken a beating. Will take
things much slower when I meet the man I am waiting for.
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choppinsman: hit the nail right on the head. time and a place for everything.
Hi Santa
Nice to see you. Will be much wiser next and last time I hope.
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Created: Nov 2008
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want to build a life together. He/ She asks you questions about
your ex. Will you be honest and tell them what they want to know,
or keep some things to yourself?
I personally think I would want the past left in the past. You are
starting a new journey with someone and it should be your
experience, not involving who you were with at one time.(JMO)