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Darkman/Lightman...

In caveman times, relationships were simple and uncomplicated,
You would just grab a female by the hair and have your way with her, before tossing her aside again...,
Now, you have to woo her, like some wogian of yesteryear,
Buy her flowers, say sweet things to her, smile a lot of fake smiles,
Caress her hand gingerly, etc.

So, what’s a modern male looking for in a woman in order to transcend his ‘caveman-ness’? What does he need in a woman to become ‘the prince-in-shining-armour’?
He needs to be able to look in her eyes and tell her:
“I’m unlike anything you could ever understand, in fact, you will never understand me. I have needs and urges you can never fathom, some of them will scare you stiff, others will thrill you beyond belief... But, it’s Ok, don’t worry, I will not hurt you or our young ones, in fact, I will gladly sacrifice my life for your and their protection, and work like a dog to provide for you.[Disclaimer: I’m talking here about 99% of the male population, I am, of course aware of the aberrant few who are the exception...] I want to always love you, always care for you. I want you to be my best friend, my lover, my whore... I want you to be the able mother and moral teacher of my children, I want to show you off to my peers, I want to be proud of you always... I want to always be intoxicated by your mystery, your unutterable femininity... I need you to understand that I will constantly make mistakes, sometimes I will hurt you deeply, not because I wish to, no, mostly, its because I don’t see why something is wrong, in these instances, you have to be woman enough to correct me, at the right time, in the right way, so as not to offend me and alienate me, ‘cause, I do suffer from insufferable pride, and the last thing I want is for you to drive me away from you... At times, fear will overtake me and like a little boy, I will need some mothering, not for long, just till I recover, do not mistake this for weakness, for very soon I will be ready to take up my sword again and go on to be a warrior to be reckoned with... A jerk, I will be at least six times a day, overlook it, teach me gently, and the jerking will diminish, believe me, it is so... At times I will need my space and or time away with the boys, you must let me go, otherwise you will either castrate me or estrange me, and I will seek comfort and understanding in the bosom of a strange woman in a New York minute... I could go on ad-infinitum, but, finally, I want to be able to meaningfully hold your hand, look into your eyes and know that even though you know all these horrible things about me, you are able to see beyond them, to focus on my good points, and they’re many, believe it, it is so. I need to know that you see a man you love and adore, a man who makes your heart sing, a man who understands you, a man who adds meaning to your life, a man you want to spend the rest of your life with, even though, he’s sooooo screwed up...”
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Nov 2010

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Comments (20)

Gashly
aaahhh earlgrey, but you are mistaken in thinking you know what all women want, just as i see discrepencies in how all men act. but that's ok, if you're speaking in general terms. there's not one single person on this planet who isn't sooooo screwed up in some way...it's what we are, and finding the one who doesn't rip those stitches...makes all the difference. oh, and fake smiles...if she's not stupid, will most likely get you hell...so just don't. lol! a nice, well-thought-out observation...is this for cleo? or are you still wishing you were a woman sometimes? strength from within. we all have it, in varying degrees, i've noticed. cheers, sir!
Earlgreytea
Hi Gashly,

"aaahhh earlgrey, but you are mistaken in thinking you know what all women want, just as i see discrepencies in how all men act. but that's ok, if you're speaking in general terms. there's not one single person on this planet who isn't sooooo screwed up in some way...it's what we are, and finding the one who doesn't rip those stitches...makes all the difference. oh, and fake smiles...if she's not stupid, will most likely get you hell...so just don't. lol! a nice, well-thought-out observation...is this for cleo? or are you still wishing you were a woman sometimes? strength from within. we all have it, in varying degrees, i've noticed. cheers, sir!"

Fisrt of, thanks very much for your, as always for your witty and encouraging comments, much appreciated! But, dear Gashly, far be it from me to pretend to know what women want, or even to remotely understand them, they are sooo alien to me... Gosh, the whole point of my write was to present the male's point of view, my reference to: a man who understands you, was purely metaphorical, lol... hope this clears where i was coming from... Was this for Cleo, no, she wonderfully understood me, i was the slow moron there...

"are you still wishing you were a woman sometimes?" lol, i will always admire the wisdom and beautiful nature of the feminine spirit, YES!!! The power of the yin, as oppsed to the insane yang, and yet, i know, that it is the exquisite combination of both that truly gets to the heights we seek...
love and light...
jazzy75
I'm intrigued with your title :) Your words certainly are cause for re-evalutation...I enjoyed this write and perspective very much my friend. thumbs up
Gashly
i get and laugh at your metaphorical view, sir grey, but i also know...a real knight in shining armour makes no pretense. just sayin'. LOL! let's have some tea before it gets too deep in here, k? cheers
freeatlast64847
Very thought provoking. I have no idea what goes on in anyone else's head, or even my own sometimes. grin Kudos! beer
agoodguy2have
earl, dark/light what more could woman/man want? we all need your reminder though that sometimes we're great...sometimes no so. ;-)
Redex
I like your observations Earlgrey, but sometimes to analize people, situations etc, is a wasted energy, non of us can fit into little titled boxes, sometimes acceptance is an art, not labels.
I have noticed around the world what is accepted in one country is not in another, anyway if we could all understand each other how boring would that be, were would growth of learning come into it, that which brings us closer together.
Ahh now i am on my own so what do I know.
Thought provkingthumbs up teddybear
Earlgreytea
jazzy"
I'm intrigued with your title :) Your words certainly are cause for re-evalutation...I enjoyed this write and perspective very much my friend.

Thanks dear Jazzy...


freeatlast"
Very thought provoking. I have no idea what goes on in anyone else's head, or even my own sometimes. Kudos!

thanks Freeatlast, i think you're right, do we really know what goes on in our heads? research suggests we have no clue..., lol...

agoodguy:
earl, dark/light what more could woman/man want? we all need your reminder though that sometimes we're great...sometimes no so. ;-)

Thank you my friend for 'seeing' me, i 'see' you too...
love and light everybody...
gnj4u
Hi, Earlgreytea,
Thought provoking write! Your words brought to mind thoughts of Kipling's IF were it about what a woman could expect to find in her man, written from his perspective. Not far behind was the thought about what a man could expect to find in his woman, written from her perspective. The bottom line is, beauty, love and acceptance are in the mind, body and soul of the beholder. Life and Love marry dark to light, no matter the gender.
SCatlyn
I love this, and think it's a great insight into a man's view of a loving relationship. (I take the 1st stanza more as lighthearted sarcasm; leading to a thoughtful, insightful view into understanding what is often misread by women, incl.me) A wonderful, loving, enlightening view... rose
niah9online today!
Can I say I enjoyed it and came to the conclusion it was the focus of a certain age group, which has changed over time by new age men, though still the view held by a majority.
Though I am no man, I have observed many...
loved it and very thought-provoking all the same....
confused dunno applause cheering Niah
Earlgreytea
Massachusetts
[Thought provoking write! Your words brought to mind thoughts of Kipling's IF were it about what a woman could expect to find in her man, written from his perspective. Not far behind was the thought about what a man could expect to find in his woman, written from her perspective. The bottom line is, beauty, love and acceptance are in the mind, body and soul of the beholder. Life and Love marry dark to light, no matter the gender.]

Thank you for your wise comment and encouragement, my friend!

SCatlyn
[I love this, and think it's a great insight into a man's view of a loving relationship. (I take the 1st stanza more as lighthearted sarcasm; leading to a thoughtful, insightful view into understanding what is often misread by women, incl.me) A wonderful, loving, enlightening view...]

You absolutely hit the nail on the head, dear friend, all I wanted to portray was, poetically a man’s view..., thank you for your wonderful comment...

niah
[Can I say I enjoyed it and came to the conclusion it was the focus of a certain age group, which has changed over time by new age men, though still the view held by a majority.
Though I am no man, I have observed many...
loved it and very thought-provoking all the same....]

I have very fond memories of my visit of New Zealand, sigh..., it was six weeks in paradise... Thank you for your wonderful encouragement dear friend...
hedistuff
lovely write earlgrey....introspection, contemplation...may I add that there is something to be said of the level of the individual affecting social behavior. their language and action reflect their patterns of social interactions, lines of status, interests and obsessions. gender differences may exist because these are the distinctions that a particular society found worth drawing. females, like males, too have multiple shifting roles from one moment to the next and from one social setting to another. luckily, for many of us, even the biggest jerks may find a niche of understanding and cooperation allowing a loving relationship to flower and grow...
boyshchrm6
Wow Earlgrey youve captured the essence of
what woman need for sure. I think I will
have to copy this and put it in my wallet
for easy reference....lol. Great stuffapplause
Earlgreytea
Thanks for your kind comments Redex, much appreciated...
mubodj
Nice composition earlgreytea,but considering the jet age{when everybody is in a haste} most women will not give you enough time to say all these, some women will rather prefer to listen to their own voice rather than yours. What of if we just say " please", "am sorry", "forgive me", "I will make it up to you", "I can not afford to loose you", "you mean the whole world to me", "I love you". or what do you think?
Earlgreytea
[ luckily, for many of us, even the biggest jerks may find a niche of understanding and cooperation allowing a loving relationship to flower and grow... ]

Loved your analysis and wise comment, thanks Hedi...
Ladybee42
hmmm - i think you NEED to read this

book,http://www.amazon.co.uk/Dont-Listen-Women-Cant-Read/dp/0752846191

'why men don't listen and women can't read maps'

we are different, we are meant to be different, if we weren't what would the point be?
yes, we women want all these things and understand you men can be idiots, but such is life, and if the idiot is a wonderful man too.. what the heck? i'm quite happy with the differences.
nice write Tarzan...giggle bouquet bouquet
Earlgreytea
Canada:
Wow Earlgrey youve captured the essence of what woman need for sure. I think I will
have to copy this and put it in my wallet for easy reference....lol. Great stuff

Thanks for the high praise Canada...

mubodj
Nice composition earlgreytea,but considering the jet age{when everybody is in a haste} most women will not give you enough time to say all these, some women will rather prefer to listen to their own voice rather than yours. What of if we just say " please", "am sorry", "forgive me", "I will make it up to you", "I can not afford to loose you", "you mean the whole world to me", "I love you". or what do you think?

Dear mubodj, I think we’re all individuals and above all we must be ourselves, this is just the way I would do it, not a model for anyone else, we all have our inimitable style, and that is our genius.., so follow your heart, my friend...
I include the first few stanzas which I meant to be in my poem, but I excluded because of the 3000 character limit...

[He lurks in the shadows,
Always, he’s there,
Watching, like a vicious predator, biding his time for the kill,
He knows he’s screwed up, but he can’t help it,
Years of evolution/imprinting/programming, have seen to that...

Flash forward,
The caveman now is donned in a business suit,
His ferociousness now is cleverly and suavely cloaked,
Under the very thin veneer of ‘civilization’,
His unabated lust forcefully brought under control, for fear of retribution if practiced with wild abandon...

Who is he?
Some dangerous ‘psycho’, some serial killer just waiting to happen?
Nah, he’s just your average ‘Joe’, a caveman he will always be at heart,
But, now, he’s forced to fit in, in an artificial and bogus matrix, we call the modern world...
]
Earlgreytea
Ladybee
[hmmm - i think you NEED to read this

book,http://www.amazon.co.uk/Dont-Listen-Women-Cant-Read/dp/0752846191

'why men don't listen and women can't read maps'

we are different, we are meant to be different, if we weren't what would the point be?
yes, we women want all these things and understand you men can be idiots, but such is life, and if the idiot is a wonderful man too.. what the heck? i'm quite happy with the differences.
nice write Tarzan...]

You're such a treasure LadyB for having such a wise tolerance for us men, and yes, i read this book looooong ago on a furlough in New Zealand of all places, and i loved it!!!... tata for now...
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