So full of joy
We've just been married
And off on honeymoon
Come that night
I was fair panting
To take my lovely Sue

To bedroom off we went
To consummate our love
Watched my lovely Sue
Getting ready for bed

First came off eyelashes
Followed by her breasts
Teeth on dressing table
Next to blonde hair
Left eyeball sat there
Staring up at me
She took off left leg
I near fainted away
Then her right hand
Replaced with a hook

It was then I realised
Mistake I think I made
Ran like the devil
My bride left behind

After me she ran
Like a demon possessed
With a clitter clatter
Of her false wooden leg

So I warn you one
And I warn you all
Before her you wed
Best take her to bed