Would it make you feel untrusted by your partner if they asked you for a prenumptial agreement? (62)
After the question of a prenup my response was, if you have one, so do I.
Knowing his nature I too, needed protection.
The question of marriage never came.
Knowing his nature I too, needed protection.
The question of marriage never came.
Sadly in this day and age marriages that last are far and inbetween 
. I believe that what was yours before a marriage you should be able to leave the marriage with. If the married couple agree to join their assets then that their choice.
. I believe that what was yours before a marriage you should be able to leave the marriage with. If the married couple agree to join their assets then that their choice.misbhavn: Would you sign it and go through with the wedding?
I think it would make me feel that my partner is not only leary of me but that he is also a selfish man. I've never been in that situation so I'm not quite sure what I would do.
I think it would make me feel that my partner is not only leary of me but that he is also a selfish man. I've never been in that situation so I'm not quite sure what I would do.
Having read through this thread, I find it interesting the reaction. The general consensus of opinion seems to be that a pre-nup is not a bad thing in modern life and people would not feel untrustworthy.
How is it then, that in a thread yesterday relating to background checks the opposite seemed to be the general consensus? I posted that really there is not much difference between these two things really; both can be taken as either a a sign of not trusting your partner or simply being safe and prudent.
My personal opinion is that pre-nups in cases when large amounts of money pre-marriage are concerned and maybe when children are concerned they cannot hurt. As long as you both agree to decisions and are aware then I cannot see the harm in either thing.
In as much as a marriage is a legal contract, it follows that with no guarantee that the marriage will last until one or the other dies, in fact statistically it's probable that it will end in divorce, it not only makes perfect sense to document pre-marital assets, it should be required by law to get a marriage license. By having such a law, the stigma of having to bring up the subject with your betrothed is eliminated and the added benefit is that a divorce will be much simpler and cost less.
My first marriage lasted 1.5 years, neither of us had anything so the divorce was cheap and easy. My second marriage lasted 14 years and we had a lot more to divvie up. Fortunately neither of us wanted to burn the other so our divorce went fairly smooth regarding the division of assets. In fact, when it became certain that we would end our marriage, I suggested that she get a credit card in her name while we were still married because with virtually no work or credit, history getting one would have been impossible.
My first marriage lasted 1.5 years, neither of us had anything so the divorce was cheap and easy. My second marriage lasted 14 years and we had a lot more to divvie up. Fortunately neither of us wanted to burn the other so our divorce went fairly smooth regarding the division of assets. In fact, when it became certain that we would end our marriage, I suggested that she get a credit card in her name while we were still married because with virtually no work or credit, history getting one would have been impossible.
Brigantia: Having read through this thread, I find it interesting the reaction. The general consensus of opinion seems to be that a pre-nup is not a bad thing in modern life and people would not feel untrustworthy.
How is it then, that in a thread yesterday relating to background checks the opposite seemed to be the general consensus? I posted that really there is not much difference between these two things really; both can be taken as either a a sign of not trusting your partner or simply being safe and prudent.
My personal opinion is that pre-nups in cases when large amounts of money pre-marriage are concerned and maybe when children are concerned they cannot hurt. As long as you both agree to decisions and are aware then I cannot see the harm in either thing.
How is it then, that in a thread yesterday relating to background checks the opposite seemed to be the general consensus? I posted that really there is not much difference between these two things really; both can be taken as either a a sign of not trusting your partner or simply being safe and prudent.
My personal opinion is that pre-nups in cases when large amounts of money pre-marriage are concerned and maybe when children are concerned they cannot hurt. As long as you both agree to decisions and are aware then I cannot see the harm in either thing.
Hey A. welcome back I thought you had ecscaped for good this time lol
misbhavn: Would you sign it and go through with the wedding?
I think it would make me feel that my partner is not only leary of me but that he is also a selfish man. I've never been in that situation so I'm not quite sure what I would do.
I think it would make me feel that my partner is not only leary of me but that he is also a selfish man. I've never been in that situation so I'm not quite sure what I would do.
I don't know....maybe it sounds crazy...if I am in that position, I will say to him : Don't worry... I wouldn't take your assets... Keep by yourself...
that's why I prefer the simple confident old fashioned type with the same forever love values, not puzzle men who always worry about this and that...
Both men and women the older you get the more careful you have to be,
we all hear tales of woe from broken relationships,
we all hear tales of woe from broken relationships,
Brigantia: Having read through this thread, I find it interesting the reaction. The general consensus of opinion seems to be that a pre-nup is not a bad thing in modern life and people would not feel untrustworthy.
How is it then, that in a thread yesterday relating to background checks the opposite seemed to be the general consensus? I posted that really there is not much difference between these two things really; both can be taken as either a a sign of not trusting your partner or simply being safe and prudent.
My personal opinion is that pre-nups in cases when large amounts of money pre-marriage are concerned and maybe when children are concerned they cannot hurt. As long as you both agree to decisions and are aware then I cannot see the harm in either thing.
How is it then, that in a thread yesterday relating to background checks the opposite seemed to be the general consensus? I posted that really there is not much difference between these two things really; both can be taken as either a a sign of not trusting your partner or simply being safe and prudent.
My personal opinion is that pre-nups in cases when large amounts of money pre-marriage are concerned and maybe when children are concerned they cannot hurt. As long as you both agree to decisions and are aware then I cannot see the harm in either thing.
I've not really read much of either of these threads, but you raise an interesting point.
While I take on board Maddog's cynicism as being a possible rationale, I dare say there might be a number of other factors coming into play.
One might be that back ground checking is somewhat surreptitious and carried out in a one sided, non-consensual way, whilst a pre-nuptial agreement is exactly that - an agreement made between the two interested parties in partnership.
I know of a man who worked a long time,
got injured and ended up getting a decent pay out,
owned his own home with all the mod cons,
then met a woman with two kids who moved in,
she talked him into buying a bigger home,,,
with both names on the deed,
two years later she left with half the value of the house in her pocket
not a bad investment for her, she had little to start with,
got injured and ended up getting a decent pay out,
owned his own home with all the mod cons,
then met a woman with two kids who moved in,
she talked him into buying a bigger home,,,
with both names on the deed,
two years later she left with half the value of the house in her pocket
not a bad investment for her, she had little to start with,
arapaho: I know of a man who worked a long time,
got injured and ended up getting a decent pay out,
owned his own home with all the mod cons,
then met a woman with two kids who moved in,
she talked him into buying a bigger home,,,
with both names on the deed,
two years later she left with half the value of the house in her pocket
not a bad investment for her, she had little to start with,
got injured and ended up getting a decent pay out,
owned his own home with all the mod cons,
then met a woman with two kids who moved in,
she talked him into buying a bigger home,,,
with both names on the deed,
two years later she left with half the value of the house in her pocket
not a bad investment for her, she had little to start with,
I've heard of this happening to women too.I suppose in some cases a prenup would be advisable when there's something to lose.
I voted "no" too.
Different mind set though. If it bothers me there won't be a need for a prenuptial agreement because the ceremony won't happen.
If there is justification as mentioned earlier, children involved..etc. There will be safe guards in place for them.
Different mind set though. If it bothers me there won't be a need for a prenuptial agreement because the ceremony won't happen.
If there is justification as mentioned earlier, children involved..etc. There will be safe guards in place for them.
bodleing2: Pre-nups, background checks, they just scream of self interest and insecurity to me from the outset. I would prefer a relationship built on stronger foundations...from the outset.
How about if a pre-nuptial agreement had something to do with protecting the interests of other family members?
This is hardly a pre-nuptial agreement, but something which has sprung to mind: A friend and his wife split up. The family home was originally her grandmothers, bought from her parents who inherited it. When they split, rather than selling the property and each of them taking their rightful share, my friend handed over the house to his wife.
It meant she could retain the property that had once belonged to her grandmother and their children also could remain in the family home with less emotional disruption. The condition attached was that if ever his wife sold the property, his children would each get half of the profit that would have been his.
Prior agreements about how possessions, or capital are to be divided needn't always be about lack of trust, or self-interest.
jac379: How about if a pre-nuptial agreement had something to do with protecting the interests of other family members?
This is hardly a pre-nuptial agreement, but something which has sprung to mind: A friend and his wife split up. The family home was originally her grandmothers, bought from her parents who inherited it. When they split, rather than selling the property and each of them taking their rightful share, my friend handed over the house to his wife.
It meant she could retain the property that had once belonged to her grandmother and their children also could remain in the family home with less emotional disruption. The condition attached was that if ever his wife sold the property, his children would each get half of the profit that would have been his.
Prior agreements about how possessions, or capital are to be divided needn't always be about lack of trust, or self-interest.
you make a good point with this jac,merely thinking about people in my own circle of life,there are those that i think would quite possibly say "yes" i can live with that sort of agreement...also there are those that would simply say "no dice" not going to happen,trust issues,something may occur further down the line and it be used in an argumentative way etc...but it does offer a different angle to the "50/50" split that so often occurs,and it differs to the kind of pre-nup being discussed here...with the right people and approach it could work quite well....This is hardly a pre-nuptial agreement, but something which has sprung to mind: A friend and his wife split up. The family home was originally her grandmothers, bought from her parents who inherited it. When they split, rather than selling the property and each of them taking their rightful share, my friend handed over the house to his wife.
It meant she could retain the property that had once belonged to her grandmother and their children also could remain in the family home with less emotional disruption. The condition attached was that if ever his wife sold the property, his children would each get half of the profit that would have been his.
Prior agreements about how possessions, or capital are to be divided needn't always be about lack of trust, or self-interest.
it depends on how reasonable it is.... ....
My ex wanted half of mine but wanted to keep all of her stuff if we left each other. luckily, I did not sign....she is long gone and i still have my stuff
....My ex wanted half of mine but wanted to keep all of her stuff if we left each other. luckily, I did not sign....she is long gone and i still have my stuff
dublin7love: it depends on how reasonable it is.... ....
My ex wanted half of mine but wanted to keep all of her stuff if we left each other. luckily, I did not sign....she is long gone and i still have my stuff
My ex wanted half of mine but wanted to keep all of her stuff if we left each other. luckily, I did not sign....she is long gone and i still have my stuff
LOL....that's why background check needed to make sure whether she/he has "thieves mentality" or "nice faithful mentality"
Don't marry the thieves...
misbhavn: Would you sign it and go through with the wedding?
I think it would make me feel that my partner is not only leary of me but that he is also a selfish man. I've never been in that situation so I'm not quite sure what I would do.
I think it would make me feel that my partner is not only leary of me but that he is also a selfish man. I've never been in that situation so I'm not quite sure what I would do.
I would sign a prenuptial agreement. It's just a natural thing to do, before getting together in a wedding or just living together without being married. You should feel comfortable with yourself before moving together with him. A good idea is to have an open discussion about it before the wedding. If there's any doubts from either side, the wedding should be delayed.
Good luck to you!
Tormented: Well if were going to get married,then whats your's is mine and what's mine is your's,otherwise whats the point in marraige?
I Think In Many cases I would disagree, Example, If One Persons gross Assets would be Valued at $300,000, The other Persons assets are in The red Zone, with Car Payments, Credit Cards Ect. -$15,000
How could this be fair???
Or if someone was Rich say 100 Million Dollars,
and the other Person had 2 Million Dollars...
Do You think Someone in their right Mind would NOT Get a Pre Numpt???
awwww she was a good "house keeper" 
misbhavn: Would you sign it and go through with the wedding?
I think it would make me feel that my partner is not only leary of me but that he is also a selfish man. I've never been in that situation so I'm not quite sure what I would do.
england,doesnt have it,in their laws/or used too.I think it would make me feel that my partner is not only leary of me but that he is also a selfish man. I've never been in that situation so I'm not quite sure what I would do.
HotrodLarrys: I Think In Many cases I would disagree, Example, If One Persons gross Assets would be Valued at $300,000, The other Persons assets are in The red Zone, with Car Payments, Credit Cards Ect. -$15,000
How could this be fair???
Or if someone was Rich say 100 Million Dollars,
and the other Person had 2 Million Dollars...
Do You think Someone in their right Mind would NOT Get a Pre Numpt???
How could this be fair???
Or if someone was Rich say 100 Million Dollars,
and the other Person had 2 Million Dollars...
Do You think Someone in their right Mind would NOT Get a Pre Numpt???
It is fair Larry because marraige is about family,not which party has the most wealth/debt.
If i build a house with my own cash,do i tell the wife this is ''my house'' or do i tell her this is ''our home''??? both names go on the deeds where am from.
Prenumptial agreement is very uncommon here.
for the second ex...just look at some millionaires like SirAlanSugar/JPMcManus etc etc...no prenub agreement and their still married.besides i can get by on 51 million(jmo).
listen,all assets go to the kids in the end anyway.
Tormented: It is fair Larry because marraige is about family,not which party has the most wealth/debt.
listen, all assets go to the kids in the end anyway.
listen, all assets go to the kids in the end anyway.
TRUE, Torm....I think the key is choosing someone who still has great respect in commitment.... Do not choose someone with "thieves mentality"... background check is important here...
but some people might think that they will bring their money to their cemetery... not the kids...
thieves mentality = getting divorced oriented...
Cyn_Real: TRUE, Torm....I think the key is choosing someone who still has great respect in commitment.... Do not choose someone with "thieves mentality"... background check is important here...
but some people might think that they will bring their money to their cemetery... not the kids...
thieves mentality = getting divorced oriented...
but some people might think that they will bring their money to their cemetery... not the kids...
thieves mentality = getting divorced oriented...
and it is not as simple as it used to be...LOL...
Tormented: It is fair Larry because marraige is about family,not which party has the most wealth/debt.
If i build a house with my own cash,do i tell the wife this is ''my house'' or do i tell her this is ''our home''??? both names go on the deeds where am from.
Prenumptial agreement is very uncommon here.
for the second ex...just look at some millionaires like SirAlanSugar/JPMcManus etc etc...no prenub agreement and their still married.besides i can get by on 51 million(jmo).
listen,all assets go to the kids in the end anyway.
If i build a house with my own cash,do i tell the wife this is ''my house'' or do i tell her this is ''our home''??? both names go on the deeds where am from.
Prenumptial agreement is very uncommon here.
for the second ex...just look at some millionaires like SirAlanSugar/JPMcManus etc etc...no prenub agreement and their still married.besides i can get by on 51 million(jmo).
listen,all assets go to the kids in the end anyway.
I Have Built a House with My Own Cash On My Own, and it has taken me a Lifetime to Get to this point, and I Will Not Give it away Overnight In a Disastrous Relationship, Of Making a Foolish Decisions.
Do You OWN a Home and Property????
Or Just Expect To Share In Her Resources, if it fails?????
Not Sure How Old You are, Or If You are Established, Or Just Broke??? But I have been around the Block a few times, I will take My Way, and You Decide on Yours....
But Good Luck...
In a First Marriage, Both should Build a Life together,
In a second, or third Marriage, You Should Become Wiser!
I would not have it any other way,
HotrodLarrys: I Have Built a House with My Own Cash On My Own, and it has taken me a Lifetime to Get to this point, and I Will Not Give it away Overnight In a Disastrous Relationship, Of Making a Foolish Decisions.
Do You OWN a Home and Property????
Or Just Expect To Share In Her Resources, if it fails?????Not Sure How Old You are, Or If You are Established, Or Just Broke??? But I have been around the Block a few times, I will take My Way, and You Decide on Yours....
But Good Luck...In a First Marriage, Both should Build a Life together,
In a second, or third Marriage, You Should Become Wiser!
Do You OWN a Home and Property????
Or Just Expect To Share In Her Resources, if it fails?????Not Sure How Old You are, Or If You are Established, Or Just Broke??? But I have been around the Block a few times, I will take My Way, and You Decide on Yours....
But Good Luck...In a First Marriage, Both should Build a Life together,
In a second, or third Marriage, You Should Become Wiser!
What others do or don't do is of little concern to me Larry
Do i OWN a home and property??? i've owned many properties/lands along with some family members in the past...right now its quite complex and i won't explain my personal buisness.
Am a little amused by the 2nd question...do you honestly think i would Expect a woman to fund me??? sorry,but is not my way.
I have no plans to marry 2/3 times Larry...so i guess i'll be none the wiser
(jmo)Cyn_Real: TRUE, Torm....I think the key is choosing someone who still has great respect in commitment.... Do not choose someone with "thieves mentality"... background check is important here...
but some people might think that they will bring their money to their cemetery... not the kids...
thieves mentality = getting divorced oriented...
but some people might think that they will bring their money to their cemetery... not the kids...
thieves mentality = getting divorced oriented...
A rich dying man has his family caring for him in his last moments Cyn
be good.
Happy New Year to you and to all
Tormented: What others do or don't do is of little concern to me Larry
Do i OWN a home and property??? i've owned many properties/lands along with some family members in the past...right now its quite complex and i won't explain my personal buisness.
Am a little amused by the 2nd question...do you honestly think i would Expect a woman to fund me??? sorry,but is not my way.
I have no plans to marry 2/3 times Larry...so i guess i'll be none the wiser (jmo)
Do i OWN a home and property??? i've owned many properties/lands along with some family members in the past...right now its quite complex and i won't explain my personal buisness.
Am a little amused by the 2nd question...do you honestly think i would Expect a woman to fund me??? sorry,but is not my way.
I have no plans to marry 2/3 times Larry...so i guess i'll be none the wiser (jmo)
Well I Viewed your profile for My own justification,
You say you have OWNED Many Properties/Land in the Past ( WITH FAMILY Members) Meaning Your Parents had a house and You were a part of It???
You are 32 Years Old, Younger than My Older Son, You are Looking for a Woman Who make $150,000 + Per Year, and You did Not Post Your Income, as a construction Worker....
I Have 30 Plus Years, as As a Union Fitter-Welder Fabricator, Pipefitter, Shipfitter, and Jack of all trades and A Book Full Of Government Certifications, And Never came Close to making 150,000 Per Year!
I Hate to be rude, But You better Smoke another One!
Just My opinion too!
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Whatever we both brought into the relationship would still go to either of us.