Friends and lovers ( Archived) (73)

Apr 23, 2016 3:13 PM CSTFriends and lovers

Friends and lovers(Vote Below)

- (To Vote: select an option above, then press this button)
The only difference is sex
32
42%
They are completely different
45
58%
Total Votes
77
Do you look for the same qualities in both? Or completely different qualities?
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Apr 23, 2016 3:36 PM CST Friends and lovers
Elegsabiff: Do you look for the same qualities in both? Or completely different qualities?


I don't think it's as black and white as the poll suggests, there are qualities in my friends that I would like in a lover but

I don't check out my friends' bums or pecs laugh
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Apr 23, 2016 3:37 PM CST Friends and lovers
That's a difference in itself we don't expect or want to find friend sexy lol
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Apr 23, 2016 3:41 PM CST Friends and lovers
And I deliberately wanted to leave the poll as unstructured as possible. Long term relationships become friends as much as lovers but I never really thought about the start of that before - are they really friends or just people you know really well. So - what's the difference.
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Apr 23, 2016 3:42 PM CST Friends and lovers
Elegsabiff: That's a difference in itself we don't expect or want to find friend sexy lol


No lol, it's a very different relationship
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Apr 23, 2016 3:44 PM CST Friends and lovers
unlaoised: No lol, it's a very different relationship


So that just contradicted what I first said. doh Maybe I just don't allow myself to see them in that light. dunno
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Apr 23, 2016 3:56 PM CST Friends and lovers
Not only me then. rolling on the floor laughing

Everyone has a different place in your life, it isn't black and white as you said, but hopefully the gurus of CS can come up with some definitions
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Apr 24, 2016 2:08 AM CST Friends and lovers
I guess this is where that elusive ingredient 'chemistry ' comes into the mix.

That is what makes you want to have sex with them, when you wouldn't even consider that with your friends (even after those 10 drinks beer )

Qualities: Many would be the same, as I would have to be actually friends with them to continue a relationship.

However, I note you did say 'lover' , which covers every length of relationship
devil
Then, hell, just the chemistry and hot bod will do wink laugh
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Apr 24, 2016 2:36 AM CST Friends and lovers
sophiasummer
sophiasummersophiasummerNorthland, New Zealand125 Threads 8,649 Posts
I look for qualities that I love and groove with.
No having them to seal with what they what!.
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Apr 24, 2016 3:17 AM CST Friends and lovers
allthegoodnamest
allthegoodnamestallthegoodnamestLondon, Essex, England UK47 Threads 6,674 Posts
Elegsabiff: Do you look for the same qualities in both? Or completely different qualities?


I tend to separate my my friends from my lovers.. The qualities I require from my lovers , without complicating the situation, is that they are female.!!
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Apr 24, 2016 3:20 AM CST Friends and lovers
sophiasummer
sophiasummersophiasummerNorthland, New Zealand125 Threads 8,649 Posts
What do you value?
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Apr 24, 2016 3:32 AM CST Friends and lovers
allthegoodnamest
allthegoodnamestallthegoodnamestLondon, Essex, England UK47 Threads 6,674 Posts
sophiasummer: What do you value?


Are you talking to me?
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Apr 24, 2016 3:54 AM CST Friends and lovers
tomcatwarne
tomcatwarnetomcatwarneOcean City, Plumouth, Devon, England UK377 Threads 8 Polls 24,763 Posts
It's a different chemistry.
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Apr 24, 2016 4:01 AM CST Friends and lovers
sophiasummer: I look for qualities that I love and groove with.
No having them to seal with what they what!.


thumbs up Lovely thought kiss kiss wine hug bouquet
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Apr 24, 2016 4:02 AM CST Friends and lovers
Molly you have nailed it why do I bother with the CS collective I should have cut straight to the chase and messaged you rolling on the floor laughing
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Apr 24, 2016 4:06 AM CST Friends and lovers
BTW I have no idea how to quote off smartie phone

All, you have a point rolling on the floor laughing although my question as put does allow for all preferences and is therfore beautifully pc yay me lol
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Apr 24, 2016 4:08 AM CST Friends and lovers
Sophia yes both have to be compatible on certain key points I think that's what blurs the lines. But chemistry is the difference!
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Apr 24, 2016 4:27 AM CST Friends and lovers
allthegoodnamest
allthegoodnamestallthegoodnamestLondon, Essex, England UK47 Threads 6,674 Posts
Elegsabiff: BTW I have no idea how to quote off smartie phone

All, you have a point although my question as put does allow for all preferences and is therfore beautifully pc yay me lol

It depends on who's eyes your looking through.. From a mans point of view, every woman is a potential lover , whether it be a long term thing or a bit of stray..
Women on the other hand, can decide within minutes of meeting whether that person will become a lover or just a friend.
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Apr 24, 2016 8:45 AM CST Friends and lovers
allthegoodnamest: It depends on who's eyes your looking through.. From a mans point of view, every woman is a potential lover , whether it be a long term thing or a bit of stray..
Women on the other hand, can decide within minutes of meeting whether that person will become a lover or just a friend.



Minutes?

Try seconds very happy
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Apr 24, 2016 9:07 AM CST Friends and lovers
KNenagh
KNenaghKNenaghAachen, Kilkenny Ireland10 Threads 11,840 Posts
Elegsabiff: Do you look for the same qualities in both? Or completely different qualities?


Hiya Biff, hope you had a good trip. hug

I think I do have some things, like interests etc. in common with my friends. I would need to have more in common with a partner, as in values and wanting similar things in the future.

I have a good few male friends but I would say that having a "spark" is not the only difference. Some I wouldn't consider as a partner because I wouldn't trust them as far as I could throw them or know I would feel the need to strangle them after being in a romantic situation after 5 minutes. laugh Fairly sure they would feel the same and then a friendship can develop. flower
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Apr 24, 2016 10:01 AM CST Friends and lovers
TheRedSquirrel87
TheRedSquirrel87TheRedSquirrel87Manchester, Greater Manchester, England UK1 Threads 2,333 Posts
Elegsabiff: Do you look for the same qualities in both? Or completely different qualities?


The first difference is rapport with and without an erection. Fancying her can turn a friend into a casual lover.

If I really really like her then there's a lot more there than there is with a friend. I'll be looking for a good argument. We need to be able to clash. And I'm also much more interested in her genetically and what her mum looks like etc.
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Apr 24, 2016 10:37 AM CST Friends and lovers
sophiasummer: What do you value?

wave
Dear Sophie,
Sssh - Not here Darling kiss

If you opened the Damn age gate - I would thank you for saying nice things about me and GRAB the opportunity to tell you kiss wine bouquet
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Apr 24, 2016 1:09 PM CST Friends and lovers
allthegoodnamest
allthegoodnamestallthegoodnamestLondon, Essex, England UK47 Threads 6,674 Posts
mollybaby: Minutes?

Try seconds


That's pretty ruthless Molly but I guess speed dating was invented for the modern woman of today.laugh
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Apr 24, 2016 1:39 PM CST Friends and lovers
allthegoodnamest: That's pretty ruthless Molly but I guess speed dating was invented for the modern woman of today.


Women have always known who they wanted to mate with, dahlingvery happy
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Apr 24, 2016 1:53 PM CST Friends and lovers
allthegoodnamest
allthegoodnamestallthegoodnamestLondon, Essex, England UK47 Threads 6,674 Posts
mollybaby: Women have always known who they wanted to mate with, dahling


It's true, which makes them no different to men in my eyes.

The only difference is they hide it so well, unless they exceed their alcohol limit , which often makes them loose all their moral senses, but we all know they have been fantasising about sex all along.uh oh wine laugh
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Apr 24, 2016 2:50 PM CST Friends and lovers
allthegoodnamest: It's true, which makes them no different to men in my eyes.

The only difference is they hide it so well, unless they exceed their alcohol limit , which often makes them loose all their moral senses, but we all know they have been fantasising about sex all along.


Taking alcohol out of the equation, women are a lot more circumspect than men.
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Apr 24, 2016 2:58 PM CST Friends and lovers
allthegoodnamest
allthegoodnamestallthegoodnamestLondon, Essex, England UK47 Threads 6,674 Posts
mollybaby: Taking alcohol out of the equation, women are a lot more circumspect than men.


From fear of what?
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Apr 24, 2016 3:04 PM CST Friends and lovers
truheart1941
truheart1941truheart1941brentwood, Essex, England UK69 Threads 1 Polls 31,406 Posts
allthegoodnamest: From fear of what?
seeing a big head.grin wow laugh
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Apr 24, 2016 3:08 PM CST Friends and lovers
allthegoodnamest
allthegoodnamestallthegoodnamestLondon, Essex, England UK47 Threads 6,674 Posts
truheart1941: seeing a big head.


I'm sure their eyes would light up at such a prospect.wow banana laugh

How's you.handshake wave
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Apr 24, 2016 3:16 PM CST Friends and lovers
truheart1941
truheart1941truheart1941brentwood, Essex, England UK69 Threads 1 Polls 31,406 Posts
allthegoodnamest: I'm sure their eyes would light up at such a prospect.

How's you.
I,m fine....being to london boys we have that effect on woman......wow wow <<<<<<<<<<<<.snooty giggle (ps) take no notice...if others disagre,professor banana
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Apr 24, 2016 3:18 PM CST Friends and lovers
allthegoodnamest: From fear of what?


I never mentioned fear.
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Message #318
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