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If & when your parents get too old to take care of themselves what will you do? ( Archived) (40)

Feb 2, 2008 9:06 AM CSTIf & when your parents get too old to take care of themselves what will you do?
Scottishlass
ScottishlassScottishlassKnoxville, Tennessee, USA672 Threads 29 Polls 4,352 Posts

If & when your parents get too old to take care of themselves what will you do?(Vote Below)

- (To Vote: select an option above, then press this button)
Care for them yourself?
89
84%
Put them in a nursing home & forget about them?
12
11%
Leave it for others to worry about?
5
5%
Total Votes
106
If you care for them yourself, will you have them move in with you or just go see them in their home on a regular basis?

What about an aunt or an uncle if they don't have anyone else? If they never had any kids of their own?
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Feb 2, 2008 9:06 AM CST If & when your parents get too old to take care of themselves what will you do?
Scottishlass
ScottishlassScottishlassKnoxville, Tennessee USA672 Threads 29 Polls 4,352 Posts
If you care for them yourself, will you have them move in with you or just go see them in their home on a regular basis?

What about an aunt or an uncle if they don't have anyone else? If they never had any kids of their own?
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Feb 2, 2008 9:42 AM CST If & when your parents get too old to take care of themselves what will you do?
fireliter
fireliterfireliterAllen Park, Michigan USA635 Threads 17 Polls 7,934 Posts
Scottishlass: If you care for them yourself, will you have them move in with you or just go see them in their home on a regular basis?

What about an aunt or an uncle if they don't have anyone else? If they never had any kids of their own?


this was the pivotal reason I started in the health care field.

After my parents insurance policy they had for 30 years was restructured, the care they thought they was going to have in the later years was all but erased in their policy.

I have seen and heard enough bad things about those "Paid care programs" offered in home and in facilities.

Don't misunderstand, I know their are many good companies out there...but for every good one there are 10 bad ones. Heres the most disturbing thing it is not the workers but the company policy/regulations the workers have to adhere to that I strongly object too.
Sad when a caregiver can only give a certain alloted time per pateint or client. all in the name of profits and liability.
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Feb 2, 2008 9:44 AM CST If & when your parents get too old to take care of themselves what will you do?
stooie1971
stooie1971stooie1971Las America's, Canary Islands Spain131 Threads 3 Polls 3,571 Posts
Scottishlass: If you care for them yourself, will you have them move in with you or just go see them in their home on a regular basis?

What about an aunt or an uncle if they don't have anyone else? If they never had any kids of their own?


PACK EM OFF TO A HOME......sell their house......off to the Caribean.... live it large cheers
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Feb 2, 2008 9:51 AM CST If & when your parents get too old to take care of themselves what will you do?
fireliter
fireliterfireliterAllen Park, Michigan USA635 Threads 17 Polls 7,934 Posts
stooie1971: off to the Caribean.... live it large


thats the same thing I told my folks to do...
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Feb 2, 2008 9:52 AM CST If & when your parents get too old to take care of themselves what will you do?
stooie1971
stooie1971stooie1971Las America's, Canary Islands Spain131 Threads 3 Polls 3,571 Posts
fireliter: thats the same thing I told my folks to do...


handshake
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Feb 2, 2008 10:09 AM CST If & when your parents get too old to take care of themselves what will you do?
lorraine
lorrainelorraineDublin, Ireland120 Threads 3,633 Posts
I would like to be able to look after them myself, and would do until it became impossible
to care for them.
I know some people who have cared for their family until they became a danger to
themselves or other people in the house.
Like going out and wandering around the streets or using the cooker and not
switching it off when they have finished.
Work would also be a huge consideration, but I would try not
to put them into a home.
Nursing homes in Ireland have been under a lot of scrutinity lately.
There was a case recently where a woman who was left back to the home on Christmas day
wandered off and was never found. I think this happened about 4 years ago.
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Feb 2, 2008 10:43 AM CST If & when your parents get too old to take care of themselves what will you do?
trublu
trublutrubluRialto, USA16 Threads 1 Polls 399 Posts
Already arranged my life so that the day he can't make it to the golf course (which will be the end of the world for this man LOL), I will be there.
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Feb 2, 2008 12:01 PM CST If & when your parents get too old to take care of themselves what will you do?
newinsouth
newinsouthnewinsouthAiken, South Carolina USA32 Threads 3 Polls 1,350 Posts
Why do you have a question "Put them in a Nursing Home and Forget about them?" Not all Nursing Homes are horrible and not all people forget about those that are in there.
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Feb 2, 2008 12:44 PM CST If & when your parents get too old to take care of themselves what will you do?
Dawn50
Dawn50Dawn50Ottawa Valley, Ontario Canada196 Threads 1,496 Posts
stooie1971: PACK EM OFF TO A HOME......sell their house......off to the Caribean.... live it large
wow doh
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Feb 2, 2008 1:16 PM CST If & when your parents get too old to take care of themselves what will you do?
arabella
arabellaarabellaNear Farmington, Maine USA110 Threads 2 Polls 7,814 Posts
stooie1971: PACK EM OFF TO A HOME......sell their house......off to the Caribean.... live it large


Considering the three choices in this poll....

And since I already commited my mother to a nursing home and she died there (not being ignored, by the way).......

I'll go with Stooie's choice tongue devil
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Feb 2, 2008 1:53 PM CST If & when your parents get too old to take care of themselves what will you do?
girlnextdormouse
girlnextdormousegirlnextdormouseMarietta, Ohio USA40 Threads 1 Polls 737 Posts
No question. Care for them.

I quit my job, left my house, and gave up grad school, to come home to take care of my Dad.
I would -never- have seen him put in a nursing home -ever-.
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Feb 2, 2008 2:22 PM CST If & when your parents get too old to take care of themselves what will you do?
dazzling_dave
dazzling_davedazzling_daveWaynesboro, Virginia USA7 Threads 2,686 Posts
I ended up having to put my grandmother into assisted living. It wasn't an easy choice, however it turned out to be the right one for her. She made some wonderful friends there and I almost always made sure I got in on the weekends to take her out for a day. I was fortunate that the home she ended up in was filled with love by patients and staff. The ironic part of it is that this particular home was classified as a welfare home.
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Feb 3, 2008 10:27 AM CST If & when your parents get too old to take care of themselves what will you do?
trublu
trublutrubluRialto, USA16 Threads 1 Polls 399 Posts
dave, I do think that decent nursing homes exist, and IF my dad was the type to be able to deal with it, then fine, he just isn't. LOL

My mothers, hell no, she hated doctors and much as I do, and sniveling, well where in the hell do you think I developed such a distaste for it ? LOL Nope, she barely let us help her out, so would be kicking and screaming at the very mention.
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Feb 3, 2008 10:30 AM CST If & when your parents get too old to take care of themselves what will you do?
shipoker55
shipoker55shipoker55St. Petersburg, Florida USA256 Threads 2 Polls 12,797 Posts
I will give them each a gift certificate for one free visit to Dr, Kavorkian
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Feb 3, 2008 10:35 AM CST If & when your parents get too old to take care of themselves what will you do?
fireliter
fireliterfireliterAllen Park, Michigan USA635 Threads 17 Polls 7,934 Posts
shipoker55: I will give them each a gift certificate for one free visit to Dr, Kavorkian


I know some elderly that wish their kids where that compassionate to them
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Feb 3, 2008 10:38 AM CST If & when your parents get too old to take care of themselves what will you do?
shipoker55
shipoker55shipoker55St. Petersburg, Florida USA256 Threads 2 Polls 12,797 Posts
my parents are both dead....I am the oldest living member in my family!!
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Feb 3, 2008 10:38 AM CST If & when your parents get too old to take care of themselves what will you do?
EastbayRay
EastbayRayEastbayRayLimassol, Cyprus18 Threads 4 Polls 1,166 Posts
Recommend euthanasia...
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Feb 3, 2008 10:46 AM CST If & when your parents get too old to take care of themselves what will you do?
fireliter
fireliterfireliterAllen Park, Michigan USA635 Threads 17 Polls 7,934 Posts
EastbayRay: Recommend euthanasia...


Death with dignity....
its sad that society in general has given euthanasia such a bad connotation.

often wondered if those in nursing homes or who have lost the quality of life how they would vote on legalizing euthanasia.
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Feb 3, 2008 9:32 PM CST If & when your parents get too old to take care of themselves what will you do?
rasgumby
rasgumbyrasgumbyMoberly, Missouri USA133 Threads 13 Polls 6,929 Posts
fairly recently went thru this myself with my Grandmother after she had a bad stroke,, luckily I worked in a nursing home,, Was great because we got to see more of each other than ever, she was so bad off she had to be there for the rehab. and was only there for 2 months..
Moved her in with me and she passed from another stroke just 7 weeks later.

Dudes... When someone ask a serious Question.. Please keep the jokes in the joke threads... This is not a funny issue and Im sure Scittish don't appreciate any more than I do.

or you could always go tell jokes at you're Moms funeral.

Thank you in advance.
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Feb 3, 2008 9:37 PM CST If & when your parents get too old to take care of themselves what will you do?
About 5 more weeks and mom will be moving in.. She is 87.. Can you imagine that, I have a younger mother..rolling on the floor laughing
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Feb 3, 2008 10:10 PM CST If & when your parents get too old to take care of themselves what will you do?
sexielady
sexieladysexieladysomewhere in FL, Florida USA6 Threads 356 Posts
Scottishlass: If you care for them yourself, will you have them move in with you or just go see them in their home on a regular basis?

What about an aunt or an uncle if they don't have anyone else? If they never had any kids of their own?


Currently going through this with my father. My sister and mother passed away last May and now he's alone and 800 miles away from me. He refuses to move here to live with me and I'm unable to move back home to be with him. He wants to sell the house and go into assisted living. I'm torn. Duty says to sell my home and go home. My heart says stay where I have made my life and have a great career that I love. My child wants to stay here. I am constantly traveling back and forth to take care of things. I'm the youngest! We have a lot of support where he is with life time family friends.
It's been extremely difficult knowing that he is getting to the point that he shouldn't be driving anymore and he refuses to "give up his independence". How do I convince him? dunno I can't.
We have discussed the market and as soon as it turns I will have to put my childhood home up for sale. That's been devastating in it's self.
He is not at the point of not being of sound mind.....his body is getting fragile.
I have to sit back and allow him to decide for himself and have his dignity.

This is not an easy place to be. blues
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Feb 3, 2008 10:15 PM CST If & when your parents get too old to take care of themselves what will you do?
rasgumby
rasgumbyrasgumbyMoberly, Missouri USA133 Threads 13 Polls 6,929 Posts
sexielady: Currently going through this with my father. My sister and mother passed away last May and now he's alone and 800 miles away from me. He refuses to move here to live with me and I'm unable to move back home to be with him. He wants to sell the house and go into assisted living. I'm torn. Duty says to sell my home and go home. My heart says stay where I have made my life and have a great career that I love. My child wants to stay here. I am constantly traveling back and forth to take care of things. I'm the youngest! We have a lot of support where he is with life time family friends.
It's been extremely difficult knowing that he is getting to the point that he shouldn't be driving anymore and he refuses to "give up his independence". How do I convince him? I can't.
We have discussed the market and as soon as it turns I will have to put my childhood home up for sale. That's been devastating in it's self.
He is not at the point of not being of sound mind.....his body is getting fragile.
I have to sit back and allow him to decide for himself and have his dignity.

This is not an easy place to be.


Yoy answered yourself!
"He wants to sell the house and go into assisted living"
If he still has his mind and he has a lot of friends.. let him! is his choice.
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Feb 3, 2008 10:21 PM CST If & when your parents get too old to take care of themselves what will you do?
sexielady
sexieladysexieladysomewhere in FL, Florida USA6 Threads 356 Posts
rasgumby: Yoy answered yourself!
"He wants to sell the house and go into assisted living"
If he still has his mind and he has a lot of friends.. let him! is his choice.


I believe I said that. Hello? confused

I also said it's not an easy place to be. When caring for my elderly parent from far away it's not easy and for me has torn me emotionally. Especially when I am watching his body give out.
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Feb 3, 2008 10:24 PM CST If & when your parents get too old to take care of themselves what will you do?
rasgumby
rasgumbyrasgumbyMoberly, Missouri USA133 Threads 13 Polls 6,929 Posts
sexielady: I believe I said that. Hello?

I also said it's not an easy place to be. When caring for my elderly parent from far away it's not easy and for me has torn me emotionally. Especially when I am watching his body give out.


Know it... and really hard to find a good place!
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Feb 3, 2008 10:27 PM CST If & when your parents get too old to take care of themselves what will you do?
sexielady
sexieladysexieladysomewhere in FL, Florida USA6 Threads 356 Posts
rasgumby: Know it... and really hard to find a good place!


At least one that's affordable! The one he wants to go to is 300K a year! jaw drop I about fell over when I heard that! So the search has begun.
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Feb 3, 2008 10:47 PM CST If & when your parents get too old to take care of themselves what will you do?
rasgumby
rasgumbyrasgumbyMoberly, Missouri USA133 Threads 13 Polls 6,929 Posts
never heard that high... Where is he at?
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Feb 3, 2008 11:05 PM CST If & when your parents get too old to take care of themselves what will you do?
wendywindy
wendywindywendywindyOklahoma City, Oklahoma USA12 Threads 282 Posts
Honestly, the hateful part of me that says, "They kicked me out and left me when I was young and helpless, screw them."

The reality of it is my heart is bigger than my hate (Thank God), so I would do my best to take care of them.
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Feb 3, 2008 11:16 PM CST If & when your parents get too old to take care of themselves what will you do?
Tiffanie
TiffanieTiffanieNijkerk, Gelderland Netherlands41 Threads 1,573 Posts
fireliter: this was the pivotal reason I started in the health care field.

After my parents insurance policy they had for 30 years was restructured, the care they thought they was going to have in the later years was all but erased in their policy.

I have seen and heard enough bad things about those "Paid care programs" offered in home and in facilities.

Don't misunderstand, I know their are many good companies out there...but for every good one there are 10 bad ones. Heres the most disturbing thing it is not the workers but the company policy/regulations the workers have to adhere to that I strongly object too.
Sad when a caregiver can only give a certain alloted time per pateint or client. all in the name of profits and liability.


I have seen it over here as well with my very own eyes. The stories I could tell. I would look after my parents myself if the need ever arose, but I somehow doubt that's the way they have things planned.
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Feb 5, 2008 10:22 AM CST If & when your parents get too old to take care of themselves what will you do?
trublu
trublutrubluRialto, USA16 Threads 1 Polls 399 Posts
I just stopped in to see how the results of this poll were coming out. Must say, sure did like what I saw, and hope nobody is fibbing. Always makes my heart hurt to see those seniors who have no one, and what happens to some. Last Christmas we went to the senior centers close by and did a little show all dressed up and passed out presents. Kinda tried to make it for them like it is for kids, full of smiles and magic. Yes, we check with the nutritionist for special diets before we planned the menu. Will definitely be doing it again next year.
And please, if you know of a senior who has no one, maybe you could be that someone, even once in a while. It really does make a difference in their lives.
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Feb 5, 2008 1:36 PM CST If & when your parents get too old to take care of themselves what will you do?
prettywoman01
prettywoman01prettywoman01sharon grove, Kentucky USA21 Threads 8 Polls 515 Posts
I have one sister who won't help me do anything. The only reason she even comes around is the hope that my parents will give her everything. I just want to make sure my parents and myself are taken care of. I don't care about my sister anymore because of how she has done and how she has treated us. All she wants is the money, the house, the land, that is all she cares about. I am afraid that my parents will make her executor and not me because I am younger and my sister is the older one. If she does get it all, I will literally have nothing. All I have is my car that I own and nothing else. My parents help me out with living arrangements and such. That's what family is supposed to do. When it comes down to it, I want to be executor to make sure my parents and myslef is taken care of. Plus, (sadly) my sister will get her share. They are her parents too, so she has to get something. But right now, it's all up in the air and I am at a loss of what to do because I don't own my own house to let my parents move in with me and I don't have that kind of moeny to take care of them like they need to be. I belive that they do have a pretty good savings and I could take care of them good with that, but I am not excutor over their estate. So, if something happens to them right now, I don't know what I would do. If you have any suggestions, let me know. Especially concerning on how to deal with my sister. [email protected]
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