If talking outloud to yourself is crazy, isn't talking to yourself in your head just trying to hide your own crazyness? Either from yourself or from everybody else within earshot. Of course that's why I have the dog here to talk to. That's not crazy... is it? What's crazy are some of his responses!
" I used to count lovers like railroad cars, I counted them on my side. Lately I don't count on nothin', I just let things slide." Joni Mitchell
You can buy already made hot sauce or just boil a hot pepper or 2 in a pint of water.
When you spray the unplugged cords lay an opened newspaper down under them to catch overspray, or do it over the sink or tub/shower. I'd let them dry on the paper, or whereever you spray them. If you get the spray on the floor the dog will get it on its feet and eventually its eyes. NO FUN!
Best of luck and wishes for many, many years of loving companionship.
The next " whatcha earin' "
Life's A Gas - T-Rex