A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. ~Herm Albright, quoted in Reader's Digest, June 1995
Attitudes are contagious. Are yours worth catching? ~Dennis and Wendy Mannering
Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine. ~Anthony J. D'Angelo, The College Blue Book
If you don't get everything you want, think of the things you don't get that you don't want. ~Oscar Wilde
Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats. ~Voltaire
I had the blues because I had no shoes until upon the street, I met a man who had no feet. ~Ancient Persian Saying
It's so hard when I have to, and so easy when I want to. ~Annie Gottlier
Oh, my friend, it's not what they take away from you that counts. It's what you do with what you have left. ~Hubert Humphrey
Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference. ~Winston Churchill
Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day. ~Author Unknown
One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweat-shirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me,'What setting do I use on the washing machine?' 'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?' He yelled back, ' University of Oklahoma '
And they say blondes are dumb...
A couple is lying in bed. The man says,'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.' The woman replies, 'I'll miss you...'
It's just too hot to wear clothes today,'Jack says as he stepped out of the shower.'Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?' 'Probably that I married you for your money,'she replied.
Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man? A: A rumor
Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death. AMEN
Q: Why do little boys whine? A: They are practicing to be men.
Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail? A: Rename the mail folder 'Instruction Manual.'
Send this to five bright, funny women you know and make their day!
And send this to five bright men who have enough sense of humor to take it!
Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face and laughter in your heart...Then you are just an old sour puss !
'I'll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way they are, it's going to be impossible to buy a week's groceries for $20.00.'
'Have you seen the new cars coming out next year? It won't be long before $2, 000.00 will only buy a used one.'
'If cigarettes keep going up in price, I'm going to quit. A quarter a pack is ridiculous.
'Did you hear the post office is thinking about charging a dime just to mail a letter?'
'If they raise the minimum wage to $1.00, nobody will be able to hire outside help at the store.'
'When I first started driving, who would have thought gas would someday cost 29 cents a gallon. Guess we'd be better off leaving the car in the garage.'
'Kids today are impossible. Those duck tail hair cuts make it impossible to stay groomed. Next thing you know, boys will be wearing their hair as long as the girls.'
'I'm afraid to send my kids to the movies any mo re. Ever since they let Clark Gable get by with saying DAMN in GONE WITH THE WIND, it seems every new movie has either HELL of DAMN in it.'
'I read the other day where some scientist thinks it's possible to put a man on the moon by the end of the century. They even have some fellows they call astronauts preparing for it down in Texas .'
'Did you see where some baseball player just signed a contract for $75,000 a year just to play ball? It wouldn't surprise me if someday they'll be making more than the President.'
'I never thought I'd see the day all our kitchen appliances would be electric. They are even making electric typewriters now.'
'It's too bad things are so tough nowadays. I see where a few married women are having to work to make ends meet.'
'It won't be long before young couples are going to have to hire someone to watch their kids so they can both work.'
'Marriage doesn't mean a thing any more, those Hollywood stars seem to be getting divorced at the drop of a hat.'
'I'm afraid the Volkswagen car is going to open the door to a whole lot of foreign business.'
'Thank goodness I won't live to see the day when the Government takes half our income in taxes. I sometimes wonder if we are electing the best people to c ongress.'
'The drive-in restaurant is convenient in nice weather, but I seriously doubt they will ever catch on.'
'There is no sense going to Lincoln or Omaha anymore for a weekend, it costs nearly $15.00 a night to stay in a hotel.'
'No one can afford to be sick anymore, at $35.00 a day in the hospital it's too rich for my blood.'
'If they think I'll pay 50 cents for a hair cut, forget it.'
Know any friends who would get a kick out of these, pass this on! Be sure and send it to your kids and grandkids too!
Scottishlass Forum Posts (3,324)
I'm there!!!!!
you've come to the right place for friends and conversation 
RE: I was in the neighbourhood....
Welcome back!!!!