What would you do????
You met someone and have gone out a few times. You enjoy seeing this person and have fun when you go out, however, that person is 12 years younger than you and they have a 6 year old kid. Your kids are grown and well, your youngest is in high school and you don't really want to go down that road again. Do you...A. keep seeing the person because you have a good time when your with them and don't worry about the future at this point.
B. End it before you start to develop feelings, because you know there is no way you want to deal with kids again.
C. Keep dating and see if you change your mind about the kid, even though you know the chances of that are slim to none.
D. Other....
Comments (73)
a relationship is about 2 people. Either you can stay, either you can't.
Kids can come and go.
It isn't fair on all 3 of you if you are not interested in the kid.
The child's happiness has to come first.
The age difference would mean nothing to me.
If you're having a good time then enjoy it while you can but I wouldn't get involved emotionally as sooner or later it will come to an end.
As for the kid...I wouldn't get involved with him either as he might start getting attached to you.
In other words. .just have a fling and lots of fun!
Does he like horses? Maybe you could go riding together?
MH, I prefer older men too. I was set up by a friend and only agreed because I gave my word that I would go on the date. Then we hit it off, so I went out again and then again. So it's been 3 times and I find myself wanting to part company. Not sure if I'm using the "kid" as an excuse and I'm not really ready to be in a relationship...more food for thought, I guess.
I'm the kind of woman who gets easily attached and enjoy children.
I don't know what a guy 12 years younger then me would have anything in common.
The 6 year old would feel to me like a Grandson or Great Grandson.
I wouldn't even think about wasting the guys time.I would be totally upfront with him and tell him that it wouldn't work out between us.
You can be honest from the start that you don't want a committed relationship and don't want to meet the kid either.
You could just be friends with benefits with no strings attached?
Now...getting emotionally involved is the problem that I would have too.
Which case I would prefer to break it off now and adios!
No I'm not a FWB type of person. Once you give yourself away like that, too many feelings develop.
In my case...I would have said adios the first time as I do get attached to people and kids..and animals. Also...I don't have flings nor friends with benefits.
But I'm not Luv with so many options.
I am older, all children are grown and am retired and I only live about 100 miles or so from you! What do you think?
I am older, all children are grown and am retired and I only live about 100 miles or so from you! What do you think?
at that point with visitation on weekends. Sure was a party.
Scotty. Love you too!
Not every relationship has to be angled towards that long walk hand and hand into the sunset, and you enjoy each other's company. If you had made friends with a woman 15 years younger would you be as worried? Of course not - the age difference doesn't affect core values, and you look at things in interestingly different ways.
If he wants you to get serious then no, back off.
If he just wants an affair with an older woman he finds attractive - well, that's up to you. But it's unlikely to turn you into being a stepmom, and it's unlikely to last very long.
If you only want serious relationships, then again, back off.
It's nice being older, though. Wait another 10 years, that sort of question is suddenly a lot easier to answer, because you realize relatively few people ARE fun, nothing DOES last forever, and opportunity doesn't knock that often
Oh, and we're still good buddies. I met someone I did want to get serious with and he was fine. One or other of you will meet always someone else, in a situation like that, they are always interim. JMO
Mine didn't work out, he's met someone his own age and it is working out, and I genuinely wish him happiness. No regrets.
For me, you have to see first if you and him can make it, if what you have is strong enough then that's the time to involve the child, then consider what's good for the child also.
if this is something that's not going to work out between the two of you, there's no point in involving the child into this in the first place.
My BF met my son when we started, my son did get attached to him, he went through problems then I started to put distance between him and my son who's about 6 years old that time, for few years, our relationship was difficult, I left my son out of it...only in recent years that I finally decided to let them two meet again. My son's already 10 when they finally meet again, they hit it off, they talk even if I'm not talking to him. My son complains to him when I'm being crazy. When we have arguments, he always tell me to be careful not to let my son know about it, and to assure him that everything is OK. He's very considerate of my son and always include him in the equation. My son will turn 12 in March, have a good relationship with my BF and supportive of our relationship.
Good.
Oh you can ask me...but I don't want to hijack this blog...
Oh yeah, we had a big fight.. my son made it worse , he sided with him and betrayed my confidence
Let the relationship go and allow him to meet someone who will accept him and his child....pretty hard decision but nothing beats doing the right thing...
Just my opinion
but you shouldn't panic or make the hard decisions.
you shouldn't think so much about these things. it ruins all
He wears shades
she has to read...
this is the first time i notice you are interested in my eyes ;-)
I always check the eyes first
especially online
You are most welcome..