Most Liked Self-Improvement Blogs (526)

The bulkhead yielded

Anyone else remember that passage?

How about the great desert acrpss the stars around us. Where every star system had been visited and sterilized in a long ago fear driven attempt to eradicate us a species. But they missed one.

Who else read that tale?

No other known Hominid or primate species that ever walked the Earth had a foot arch. We are unique. There are other puzzles about us the more we study.

Life is hard until you make it easy.....

How do we define self sabotaging behavior as there are many definitions and many ways
we often sabotage our efforts to form healthy relationships with people.
We often say and do things that we know will bring harm upon us an unconscious level that we
don't recognize until its too late.

The patterns are subtle but quite damaging. A few examples is one may be chatting with a potential
friend or lover online they get up to a point of quality communication you tell your love interest many
adoring things that make them melt in your hands then because of something you don't know about
why your love interest stopped corresponding and you don't know what you said or you don't know
their reasons why they chose not to chat or you offer them a break to think about things and then become angry why they have not responded. This is a sign of what I call the "Controlling Saboteur" who whines for attention and then when he/she does not get the quality or quantity of attention they cut the communication off.

They tell their love interest that they may not be interested and make all kinds of assumptions not knowing the truth of why their love interest is not communicating. They seek exclusive attention and become a bit obsessive.
They recognize or they may tell their love interest they have a life outside of the online love arena but resent
that they do hence, they don't focus on their own life but the life of their love interest.


Another saboteur is what I call the "On top of the World" type. He or she has everything going for them a good job, friends, family, home, car the works but throws it all away getting in trouble such as going on a killing spree
or drinks themselves to death watching their lives slowly fall apart as they lose their job family home etc.

Then there is the "Loner by Choice saboteur" who has no faith or hope in finding anyone to love them so they resign to accepting their hermitage life and nobody is worthy to ever enter in their life. Outwardly they tell everyone they are just peachy and don't want anyone. They have their TV, their movies, their dog, and their junk food and their two cents of thought to post on a blog yet deep inside there is a silent scream within, that nobody hears from the loner that they really want someone but, fear they will be misunderstood hence, they choose to be in their "loner" comfort zone and they don't have to answer to anyone but themselves.

The problem with self sabotage is many who do so, feel so horrible about themselves their self esteem is non existent that they may have to look it up in the dictionary to understand what that means.
Many may sabotage themselves to fail because that is all they know and have fears of success.
The problem of fears of success is the fear of responsibility that comes with that success and the work to maintain that success. A scary thought indeed. When you are already down nobody expects much from you.

In conclusion I feel in many areas of my life I have self sabotage down to a science though its nothing to boast about or be proud about but, who among us is without sin? Who among us will not admit they sabotage their efforts of happiness at any level because they can justify themselves of their plight.
To the world they will paint a pic they are on top of their game behind the computer screen they may reveal a much different person.

These walls are built of stone, packed with clay, plastered, painted - and with time, the cracks show. Paint flakes off, plaster crumbles, cracks become missing chunks, and when you pry away a rotten patch, sand cascades down.

Clear away the damaged bits, treat the thirsty wall, fill the damaged bits, plaster over them. Repeat. Year by year by year.

The well-maintained old wall will never look new. It's tempting to spruce it briefly with a quick coat of paint, but take time, get to the root of the problem and treat it properly, and the wall stands proud and firm again.

















We’re all walls.

From time to time here, where almost all posts are largely in good taste, if pointed, one does see the rare quite inappropriate blog. Profanity, too direct s*xual references, and so on. If I were a betting man, I'd bet on the drink. Sad, sad, sad. I should know. Aa.

Its been quite some times I has absent from create a blog. Not because lake of sources,
but as a matter of fact, I was too busy felt sorry for my self and situation after got work termination.

For those who have ever suffered a same situation like me might felt as same as mind.
Confused..,
Desperately..,
Angry..,
Speechless.,
Blank of any idea...etc..

But.., God is Mighty and always know what we needed most than what we wanted most.
He turn me up from an ordinary employee into a business woman.
He does not matter how old I am, how weak I am, how unfaithful (sometimes) I am to Him.
He keeps caring, loves, and teach me that be able to contribute hobby and expertise in culinary
to happy people who enjoy it, is a blessing

Its been a month I am doing this online culinary business at home. The branded is " CRISPY BITES".
Starting from 2 tastes of Chicken Rice Bowls and 4 variant of Banana Crispy Nuggets, now it has become
6 tastes of Chicken Rice Bowls, 8 variant Banana Crispy Nuggets and 3 variant of soft drinks.

The funny things is those inspiration of new dish always come to me when I wake up in the morning.
Ideas always comes in the right time and place.

So bloggers, never give up on your life, go get your dream, cherish every minutes that you have by
making yourself useful to people around you. Dont make ages become a barrier. Be always proud of your self.

Happy weekend to all bloggers..

Jack Ma, funny yet very inspirational

At birth we boarded the train of life and met our parents,
and we believe they will always travel on our side.


However, at some station
our parents will step down from the train,
leaving us on this journey alone.


As time goes by,
other people will board the train;
and they will be significant
i.e. our siblings, friends, children,
and even the love of your life.


Many will step down
and leave a permanent vacuum.


Others will go so unnoticed
that we don't realize
they vacated their seats.


This train ride will be full of joy,
sorrow, fantasy, expectations, ( mostly unrealistic)
hellos, goodbyes, and farewells.


Success of the ride consists of having a good relationship
with all passengers requiring that we give the best of ourselves.


The mystery to everyone is:
We do not know at which station
we ourselves will step down.


So, we must live in the best way,
to love, forgive, and offer the best of who we are.


It is important to do
this because when the time comes for us to step down
and leave our seat empty
we should leave behind beautiful memories
for those who will continue to travel on the train of life.

Unfortunately, carrying around the caboose of regrets, emotional baggage
and anger only just makes the journey that much more difficult


I wish you a joyful journey on the train of life.
Reap success and give lots of love.
More importantly, thank God for the journey.


Lastly, I thank whoever
for being one of the passengers on my train.


(By the way, I am not planning to get off the train anytime soon
but when and if I do, just remember I am glad for those of you who were part of my journey.)

It matters not how many passengers who board or disembark as much as the quality of passengers
who made a difference in our lives.

something always buffles me as in how do people start
praising other countries and forget their own..

I do always move from countries to countries for certain reasons but
never do I at any time forget where I come from.
and its funny some chinese look alike faces calling her self an american or african as if the origin country is a curse to mention about...

I think confidence pride is all I call self love
I mean having your culture to praise is health other than praising a foreign
one just simply you want to fit in society and maybe you went to those
other countries for studies or marriage or born there and you now forgot
your origins....

I can't hurt myself to this I am seeing here or in the name of survival for fitness...
@selflove is everything because it comes naturally at no costs.

Ever get tired of the same old bullshit from people who could care less about you
and perhaps have no incentive to change or constantly depressed or sick of their
life and the choices they made?

Ever get tired of offering suggestions to help people who seem to embrace their misery?

Ever get tired of beating yourself up seeking approval from those you approve of
yet they just don't reciprocate?

Ever get tired of the drama of others?

Ever get tired of stupid mundane sometimes pointless forums or blogs seeing that most people
just have nothing else on their plate to offer?

Are we not tired of being surrounded and very much alone?

Tired of being tired? Thinking that sleeping it off will make it go away
only to find the pain is still there?

Its really sad indeed because no matter how polite we may act or the noble intentions to
offer some solace there is this void of apathy and it drains the energy from us.

People who are constantly depressed drain the energy of those who seemingly are doing fine.
Depression kills and destroys all that is good in anyone. Where does it come from why are people so miserable.
Why do we tend to attract the very thing we despise in others. Perhaps because those who are equally miserable
who do not want to face their issues attract others who do not want to face theirs. Hence they have something in common.

What is sad is having mental illness and depression or physical ailments and seeking others with similar
issues is not an ideal match.
If two are in darkness how can they see themselves to the light?
People in general have their good points and pitiful points and trying to focus on their good points and their potential of greatness is the best we can offer one another but if people only focus on how miserable they are
it actually repels the healing they seek.

I know I am not the sharpest pencil in the box or the brightest bulb but, its so disheartening to see the same old story of people we may care about watching them on a path of self destruction.
When it comes to the 3 kinds of people out there Perpetrators Victims and Rescuers its time to consider the real perpetrators people have such as fear, doubt, lack of confidence, emotional or physical illnesses, anger, hopelessness. These things in my opinion are the worse enemies we have and often sabotage our ambition to find friends and healthy relationships. As far as being a victim many have choices to be one to the perpetrators that rob us of life. Ah then the rescuer which claims they have overcome the perpetrator and profess they are no longer a victim.

How I hate despise this because those who claim they have overcome the role of victim of self made monsters their testimony is a reminder of we have the power to change. Yet how often do you give away that power to the victim and perpetrator?

So, in knowing who our friends really are it those three which are constant reminders of our perceive guilt because we can't measure up to one another.

A woman will always think the grass is greener elsewhere and will always consider their options.
A man may do the same but with a twist because deep down inside no matter how much people
profess they don't need anyone nor want anyone maybe they just gave up on everyone.

Yet they find their comfort zone in their sickness they won't tell you about. They won't tell you how alone they feel or how unhappy they are.
The mask we wear defines only how well we are able to hide our pain.
One day we will have to take off the mask and face our real selves our pain our regrets and declare our passions that we want to live and love and play to be happy and to be needed and wanted and be fruitful
and be human as God intended us to be.
Overall we will have to decide who are friends are and who we wish to let go or hold onto for the new year.