I have to do fairly intensive physicals before I can go abroad for work and had one this week. The doctor was new, and fairly young, and frowned a bit over the results.
'Am I okay?" I asked. She nodded and I asked jokingly 'will I live to see 80?'
She asked, 'Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer, wine or hard liquor?'
'Strictest moderation. And no recreational drugs at all, before you ask.'
'Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?'
'Not much' I said, 'my last doctor said to cut right down.'
'Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, boating, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?'
'No, I don't,' I said.
She asked, 'Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?'
'No,' I said a little wistfully
She looked at me sternly. 'Then why do you even give a shit?'
When you’re a kid, love is a fire bomb. It shakes the world. She was 16, a giggler with long blonde hair and the kind of figure that suddenly emerges from puppy fat and turns every boy in the area into a cartoon character. Boyooong!
When you marry it’s serious, grown-up, family-building love. Forever stuff. It burns like a steady fire, with occasional flares, but sometimes – the fire goes out. No-one’s fault but you both want flames.
The next time round, chances are she has kids already. The fire burns for the two joined families, but the kids get the seat nearest the fire. Sometimes you have to give up your seat to them.
Central heating looks good. No firebombs, open flames,upheavals, uncertainties, quarrels, there’s warmth instead of fire. You like being together, like each other’s friends, want the same things for the future.
Settling, yes, settling down. My fire-building days are over.
CS has an opinion on everything, but probably not on this.
I just tried to post to Biff's blog about nice guys and it vanished
So what if men are happy with good company and want to extend that long term, is it bad? Do women want to be messed around?
I've been in long relationships and I've been single, and I prefer together. I'm not a fussy bloke. I'm tidy, I don't snore too loudly, I notice when she looks good and I couldn't be less bothered if she looks like the Bride of Dracula in the morning. I look a bit of a werewolf myself until the old razor has been wielded. Take me as you find me, and as long as we want roughly the same, we're good.
Single is different. I get invited out to dinner with friends, I don't need to say 'I'll check with the government if we can make it.' I want to work late into the night, my choice. I want to climb a mountain, that's between me and my knees.
Distance relationships combine the two worlds. You have the phone calls, the emails, sending texts whenever you want to share something, but you are still living on your own. I made a long-term decision two days ago because the price was right, the place was right, and the chance too good to miss. It hasn't gone down too well with the government.
Made me wonder. Made any decisions lately, big or small, which pleased you, but might have been completely different if you had to take someone else into account?
I noticed one ward at my hospital in Scotland had people who looked completely healthy. "Psst," I said to the first guy, "why are you here?"
"Fair fa your honest sonsie face, Great chieftain o the puddin race,
Aboon them a ye take yer place, Painch, tripe or thairm, As langs my
airm."
Well, I understood him, just like you did, but what? I looked at the next guy
and he shook his head and said
"Wee sleekit, cowerin, timrous beasty, O the panic in thy breasty,
Thou needna start awa sae hastie, wi bickering brattle."
That explained it. The serious Burns unit.
Maybe not all of you understood all of the Burns quotes. Local words and local accents can change English almost into another language. Try me on a sentence in your local version.
I'm well primed. I have lots of coffee.
Anyone give up anything for Lent? I used to as a kid, haven't done for years. Last time I did, I gave up eating spinach for 40 days. It was tough.
Now I've been challenged to give up beer for a week. A week? Hell I could give it up for a month. A year. No need to prove anything. My cynical friend said bet you couldn't. Oh aye, I said, I'll do it, if you give up CS for a week.
From tomorrow, no beer for a week. Easy.
Cheers.
Here's to a week of interesting blogs, new people and challenging comments.
Easy to shut down conversations with CS people who aren’t what you thought they were. Tell them nicely, or stop writing, or block the ones who turned out to be subhuman.
How do you end things that have gone a bit further, when they won’t give up, and you don’t want to even be friends?
Lead them into temptation – persuade them to sign up on another website, or get someone else to flirt with them, then sadly shake your head and say you can’t trust them anymore
Start a very public and very intense flirt with someone else on CS.
Pretend to be dead. Don’t appear on your usual media, ignore every effort they make to communicate, for at least a week. If that doesn’t do it, when you reappear, publicly ignore them, or get insulting.
What others have I missed?
Not because I need to know. My own status remains unchanged and much valued.
Off to Cape Town for 10 days tomorrow
Not a holiday, I’ll be stuck in the office most of the time. Normally I’d spend free time with the team on the spot but this time I’m going in to find out who had their hand in the cookie jar.
I know Natal and Gauteng well but haven’t spent much time in the Cape. Suggestions? Anyone know how to get hold of Cat?
If you can't say something nice, say nothing at all.
I grew up with that one. I grew up before the internet. If I had nothing to say, nice or not, I said nothing and watched mammoths and sabre-tooths roaming past the cave mouth. We nodded politely at each other. It was peaceful.
Then came computers, emails, texts, Facebook, skype, iphones and CS blogs. Saying something became the most important thing in the world.
I've got nothing to say. But I'm doing my bit, I'm saying it.
Thought you should know.
Oh aye I like
you, for looking good, or making me laugh, or groan at your comebacks, or think. But
you? Nope.
Only mentioning it because
you need to get over yourself. Someone had to say it.
Oh, and I am running for most popular person on CS. Don't forget to cast your vote.
Woke up this morning with the hangover from hell and a vague memory of kissing a camel who turned into the ugliest woman I'd ever seen. Bit of a relief to realize that was my last blog and trick photography. Boxing Day isn't even a blur, I might have slept through it.
That's is. No more drinking is my New Year resolution. The minute I've got Hogmanay over and done with.
In the meantime -
Mistletoe only works up to midnight 25th December and I have some unused berries here about to expire
but if there are any ladies here who wouldn't mind a bristly kiss, I'd be happy to use the berries up. I've kissed a few of you already today and you were so delicious I'd be happy to do it again.
Come one come all especially if it is a kiss and make up.
Gents get your own mistletoe, or take over in an hour. This is a one hour offer.
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