Can Someone Please Tell Me

Someone on tv was saying something about the Democrats advancing their agenda. Can someone please tell me what their agenda is? What are they running on?
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Hope This Joke Isn't Too Old

Senior Sex

The husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you."

Yes, she says, "I remember it well."

OK, he says, "How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?"

"Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!"

A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having
sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them.

The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.

The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know.

After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is.

So, as the couple passes, he says to them, "Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?"

Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply,

"Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence."

SHARE WITH YOUR FRIENDS, ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Feel free to Follow me, I am always posting fun and funny stuff!!!http://www.facebook.com/Cindy.mccune
?¨`*•?.•Pass it on!! Give someone else a reason to smile. ? ..•* ?
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I miss...

Matchdoctor!

Well, minus you know who. The one probably responsible for its demise.

Does anyone else?
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So We Cause Global Warming, Huh?


Ok, I didn't want this posted in just the Texas forums.
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Trump and the Democrats

Trump has a long list of accomplishments. You can Google them.

What I'm wondering is, what are the Democrats running on? Can any of you libs tell me?
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Another Accuser?

Oh, please!! How obvious can their motives be?? These desperate libs know the 1st one isn't gonna fly, so they come up with another at the VERY last minute. Anything to delay this, no matter how rediculous and desparate and obvious they make themselves look. They're determined to bring him down at ANY cost.

Watch, they're gonna keep coming up with "victims" til the midterms. I hear there is already a third. And no evidence on any of them.

Of course, there are new cases coming up before the Supreme Court.

I hear Kavanaugh called "rapist" and other vile names. How so? There is NO evidence, even from so called "witnesses". They all deny it. Thats why they had to come up with another "victim"

Even libetal Geraldo Rivera doubts her!! I just watched him
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Joke

Omg, this is Too Funny!! ?? ?? ??

In a Chicago hospital, a gentleman had made several attempts to get into the men's restroom, but it had always been occupied. A nurse noticed his predicament.
Sir, she said "You may use the ladies room if you promise not to touch any of the buttons on the wall."
He did what he needed to, and as he sat there he noticed the buttons he had promised not to touch.
Each button was identified by letters: WW, WA, PP, and a red one labeled ATR.
Who would know if he touched them?
He couldn't resist.. He pushed WW. warm water was sprayed gently upon his bottom.
What a nice feeling, he thought. Men restrooms don't have nice things like this.
Anticipating greater pleasure, he pushed the WA button. Warm air replaced the warm water, gently drying his underside.
When this stopped, he pushed the PP button. A large powder puff caressed his bottom adding a fragile scent of spring flower to this unbelievable pleasure.. The ladies restroom was more than a restroom, it is tender loving pleasure.
When the powder puff completed its pleasure, he couldn't wait to push the ATR button which he knew would be supreme ecstasy.
Next thing he knew he opened his eyes, he was in a hospital bed, and a nurse was staring down at him.
"What happened?" he exclaimed. The last thing I remember was pushing the ATR button.
"The button ATR is an Automatic Tampon Remover. Your p*nis is under your pillow."
"MEN NEVER LISTEN"

Hahaha! ??
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Questions

Some people believe that when we die, that's it. No afterlife. But if that's the case, what's the point?

On the other hand, what point would there be to life if not for an afterlife?

And, how did we get here to even have a life? The big bang theory is the most rediculous idea I've ever heard, because where did the first matter come from to explode?

The theory of creation makes the most sense to me, because of the complexity and intricacy of things, from the simple to the most complex -- the human brain. And mans ability to think, reason, feel emotion.

Discuss.

Scammers

I get messages from scammers all the time. Usually I ignore and delete them. But lately I've been telling them off. I tell them point blank that they are a scammer and that I can spot scammers in a heartbeat. They don't like that.

What do you do?

Who is Here From Matchdoctor?

I thought it was pretty sneaky of them to pretend they were wanting to improve the site, then suddenly disappear. scold
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Husband Down

Haha!! This is a Good one!!

A husband and wife are shopping in their local Wal-Mart. The husband picks up a case of Miller Lite and puts it in their cart.

'What do you think you're doing?' asks the wife. 'They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans', he replies. 'Put them back, it's a waste of money', demands the wife, and so he does and they carry on shopping.

A few aisles further on along, the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket.

What do you think you're doing?' asks the husband... "It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful, replies the wife.

Her husband retorts: 'So does 24 cans of Miller Lite and it's half the price....'

HUSBAND DOWN, AISLE 7 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hahaha! ??????
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Ok, Now I've Heard it All

I have no idea if this is true or not.

You'll NEVER believe what women are putting in their va*ina now. Believe it or not, some women are rubbing crushed wasp nests on, in, and around their delicate little female flowers.

Wasps are pretty gnarly creatures. They can and often do fly quickly. They make large nests out of seemingly anything directly on the outside of homes. The buggers live in swarms - and they often attack perceived enemies in swarms.

You've probably been stung by a wasp at least once, right? If not, lucky you! Oh yeah, and their stings hurt, too. Unlike bees, they don't die after they sting; wasps continue to expand their nests and find other people and animals to sting again.

For some unknown reason, women have just recently started to stick wasp nests into their va*ina. Yes, you read that correctly - the latest trend of stupidity involves placing crushed wasp nests into one's own va*ina.

If you're among the one-half of the world who has a va*ina, would you consider putting wasp nests in your pink pocket? Where the sun doesn't shine?

If you're a guy, on the other hand, would you let your girlfriend get wasp nests - doesn't that sound crazy? - near her favorite body part of yours?

This trend isn't hearsay either.

The countless claims of alleged adult-rated use of oak galls seem to be true. By the way, oak galls are round balls on oak trees that come from a species of wasp called the gall wasp. They inject their larva - this is sounding nastier by the sentence - into leaf buds, the larva secretes chemicals that cause the balls to puff up, then they eat the not-so-tasty oak puffy balls - or whatever they're called.

The Daily Mail shared this nasty news with the world just days ago. Those wasp nests are able to make va*ina sting wherever their powder is applied and even dry out the vaginal canal. However, vaginal oak gall application is said to act as a douche of sorts, heal scars and even active wounds from episiotomies, and build back the uterus after the miracle of birth reaps havoc on mothers' bodies.

Popular Science notes that this quasi-treatment won't make vaginal canals tighter as rumor may have it.

OK - I'm not trying this oak gall stuff anytime soon, that's for sure. Would you consider applying crushed wasp nest in and around your no-no square?

We want to hear what YOU would do. Are the potential benefits worth it? I wonder what your friends would say!

APOST.com
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