Some Funnies

Clever Signages*!!

*A sign in a shoe repair store*:
"We will heel you,
We will save your sole,
We will even dye for you!"

Sign over a *Gynaecologist’s Office* :
"Dr. George, at your cervix";

At an *Eye Clinic* :
"If you don't see what you're looking for,
You've come to the right place.”;

On a *Plumber's truck* :
"We repair what your husband fixed”;
(Plummer you're not nice) LOL
On an *Electrician's truck* :
"Let us remove your shorts”;

In a *Non-smoking Area* :
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and will take appropriate action”;

On a *Maternity Room door* :
"Push. Push. Push.”;

At a *Car Dealership* :
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.”;

At the *Electric Company* :
"We would be delighted if you send in your payment on time.
However, if you don't, YOU will be de-lighted.”;

In a *Restaurant window* :
"Don't stand there and be hungry;
come on in and get fed up.”;

In the front yard of a *Funeral Home* :
"Drive carefully.
We'll wait.”;

Last but not least and I LOVE THIS..........

Sign on the back of *Septic Tank Truck* :

*"Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises"*
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This is Old, But it Describes True Love

The elderly man in his eighties, hurried to his doctor appointment at 8am. He wanted to finish quickly because he must be somewhere by nine. The doctor asked what the next appointment was. He proudly said that at 9am every morning he is at the hospital to eat breakfast with his wife. The doctor asked in what condition his wife was in. The man said that his wife had Alzheimers disease, and for the past 5 years she hasn't known who he is. The doctor was surprised and asked the man why he continues to go faithfully if she has no idea who he is....the old man replied, " because I still know who she is. "

? this my friends, is real love..... ?

?¨`*•?.•Pass it on!! Give someone else a reason to smile. ? ..•* ?
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My Question Is........

My daughter is a far left liberal, and she claims Republicans want to do away with Social Security, Medicare, and Medicaid. I can't find any evidence of this.

I can't believe Republicans would destroy the party by doing this. And especially to talk about it right before the election.

What say you?
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Can Someone Please Tell Me

Someone on tv was saying something about the Democrats advancing their agenda. Can someone please tell me what their agenda is? What are they running on?
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Hope This Joke Isn't Too Old

Senior Sex

The husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you."

Yes, she says, "I remember it well."

OK, he says, "How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?"

"Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!"

A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having
sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them.

The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.

The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know.

After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is.

So, as the couple passes, he says to them, "Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?"

Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply,

"Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence."


Feel free to Follow me, I am always posting fun and funny stuff!!!
?¨`*•?.•Pass it on!! Give someone else a reason to smile. ? ..•* ?
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I miss...


Well, minus you know who. The one probably responsible for its demise.

Does anyone else?
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So We Cause Global Warming, Huh?

Ok, I didn't want this posted in just the Texas forums.
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Trump and the Democrats

Trump has a long list of accomplishments. You can Google them.

What I'm wondering is, what are the Democrats running on? Can any of you libs tell me?
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Another Accuser?

Oh, please!! How obvious can their motives be?? These desperate libs know the 1st one isn't gonna fly, so they come up with another at the VERY last minute. Anything to delay this, no matter how rediculous and desparate and obvious they make themselves look. They're determined to bring him down at ANY cost.

Watch, they're gonna keep coming up with "victims" til the midterms. I hear there is already a third. And no evidence on any of them.

Of course, there are new cases coming up before the Supreme Court.

I hear Kavanaugh called "rapist" and other vile names. How so? There is NO evidence, even from so called "witnesses". They all deny it. Thats why they had to come up with another "victim"

Even libetal Geraldo Rivera doubts her!! I just watched him
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Omg, this is Too Funny!! ?? ?? ??

In a Chicago hospital, a gentleman had made several attempts to get into the men's restroom, but it had always been occupied. A nurse noticed his predicament.
Sir, she said "You may use the ladies room if you promise not to touch any of the buttons on the wall."
He did what he needed to, and as he sat there he noticed the buttons he had promised not to touch.
Each button was identified by letters: WW, WA, PP, and a red one labeled ATR.
Who would know if he touched them?
He couldn't resist.. He pushed WW. warm water was sprayed gently upon his bottom.
What a nice feeling, he thought. Men restrooms don't have nice things like this.
Anticipating greater pleasure, he pushed the WA button. Warm air replaced the warm water, gently drying his underside.
When this stopped, he pushed the PP button. A large powder puff caressed his bottom adding a fragile scent of spring flower to this unbelievable pleasure.. The ladies restroom was more than a restroom, it is tender loving pleasure.
When the powder puff completed its pleasure, he couldn't wait to push the ATR button which he knew would be supreme ecstasy.
Next thing he knew he opened his eyes, he was in a hospital bed, and a nurse was staring down at him.
"What happened?" he exclaimed. The last thing I remember was pushing the ATR button.
"The button ATR is an Automatic Tampon Remover. Your p*nis is under your pillow."

Hahaha! ??
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Some people believe that when we die, that's it. No afterlife. But if that's the case, what's the point?

On the other hand, what point would there be to life if not for an afterlife?

And, how did we get here to even have a life? The big bang theory is the most rediculous idea I've ever heard, because where did the first matter come from to explode?

The theory of creation makes the most sense to me, because of the complexity and intricacy of things, from the simple to the most complex -- the human brain. And mans ability to think, reason, feel emotion.



I get messages from scammers all the time. Usually I ignore and delete them. But lately I've been telling them off. I tell them point blank that they are a scammer and that I can spot scammers in a heartbeat. They don't like that.

What do you do?

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