Surviving the "let-downs" from On-Line Dating

A dear friend of mine has spent a great deal of today on the phone with me attempting to work through the symptoms of "Post On-Line Dating Disorder" or POLD-D as we shall now call it. This dear soul had spent a great investment of time on a certain gentleman (and I use this term quite loosely) who she thought truly cared about her only to find out that he was not only emailing her but numerous others as well. Oh gosh.... can you believe that anyone would use a dating site to take advantage of others in such a hurtful way?! Well, unfortunately it is a daily occurrence and is not necessarily specific to one gender or the other. So what can you do to protect yourself from POLD-D making your evening, day, week or month a complete nightmare?

1. Move slowly in developing relationships. Rome wasn't built in a day and neither will be a sound and solid relationship.
2. Read the written word carefully and look for consistencies and inconsistencies.
3. If someone claims to have fallen in complete love with you in 10 to 15 seconds, then you can assume that what you are receiving is a line of you know what.
4. Smooth talkers are just that; they focus on telling you exactly what you want to hear. If there is nothing but smooth sailing in your interaction you can be certain that rough seas lie just ahead.
5. Once you are feeling safe enough in the relationship, hit them with something that they are not expecting. Do this not to be mean or vengeful but simply to see what their reaction is and how they handle this situation.
6. Arrange a first meeting where each of you arrives and departs separately at a location that is not near either's home. Initial face-to-face contact should take place in a safe, commuity environment and conversation should be cordial without going in to too much specific detail. Remember to focus well on non-verbal behaviors for they will untimately tell you as much or even more than verbal behaviors.
7. Arrange for multiple "safe meetings" before taking the plunge to the next level. Safe dating practices create opportunities for building a foundationship that will last a lifetime.

Well here it is; take it or leave it. I hope that many of you are experiencing less pain than my friend is tonight. She is deserving of much more than what she received!