I Wonder What I’m Looking For
The last few years of my marriage were bad, the last couple were horrendous. Would things have turned out differently if I’d been a better partner? Probably, but I’ll never know for sure. Much of what went wrong was my fault, but how much of it that wasn’t is impossible to say.I wasn’t meant to share a life with anyone, I think that much is fair to say. Now, living alone, there is certainly something about that that feels right; it seems to be in keeping with what, or who, I am. But there is also something about it that really doesn’t feel right, and, despite much self analysis, I can’t put my finger on what it is. Obviously, it has a lot to do with people, most probably of the opposite sex, but that’s about as much as I can say.
I don’t want to live with someone as half of a couple again; I do know that much, or at least I think I know it. The idea of being part of a couple on a more casual basis, not living together, and maintaining a separate life, wouldn’t seem like a bad option were it not for the fact that I can well see how it might be the thin end of a wedge with a rather dangerous thick end.
I doubt if finding a friend with benefits would be a much less risky option, and, anyway, I don’t think I could be that casual; besides, why take the risk when the benefits aren’t as compelling as they used to be? So, a friend, or friends, without problematic benefits could be the answer, although even getting the dynamics of that right is proving more complicated than I would have imagined.
Comments (110)
I think knowing what you don't want, and knowing what probably won't work for both concerned is nearly as important as knowing exactly what you want.
I can nearly guarantee you that many others here are exactly in the same position as you are.
I do not give advice to people I know very well on these types of matters, so here I sit.
Don't we constantly amaze ourselves at our own inabilities?
Relationships rarely work out the way we plan, good or bad.
They consist of 2 people, and life. All 3 can change no matter what the original plans were.
See what I mean.Only I would find a link to an Einstein quote that is longer than his equations, to then look twice to make sure it was him and not Mark Twain.
It was something, yada yada ...big brainy.
A happy man is too satisfied with the present to dwell too much on the future. ~ Albert Einstein
Worrying about future is a symptom of a miserable present, in which we cannot find peace or fulfillment. A happy person lives in the moment, free from the ties of the past or those of the future.
Read more:
Just go with the flow until the flow stops flowing.
( I will say nothing, poignant or otherwise.God help me.)
Whilst I am dipping my toe in the shallow end to test the temperature, she has already dived in the deep end.
K I S S I N G