I Wonder What I’m Looking For
The last few years of my marriage were bad, the last couple were horrendous. Would things have turned out differently if I’d been a better partner? Probably, but I’ll never know for sure. Much of what went wrong was my fault, but how much of it that wasn’t is impossible to say.I wasn’t meant to share a life with anyone, I think that much is fair to say. Now, living alone, there is certainly something about that that feels right; it seems to be in keeping with what, or who, I am. But there is also something about it that really doesn’t feel right, and, despite much self analysis, I can’t put my finger on what it is. Obviously, it has a lot to do with people, most probably of the opposite sex, but that’s about as much as I can say.
I don’t want to live with someone as half of a couple again; I do know that much, or at least I think I know it. The idea of being part of a couple on a more casual basis, not living together, and maintaining a separate life, wouldn’t seem like a bad option were it not for the fact that I can well see how it might be the thin end of a wedge with a rather dangerous thick end.
I doubt if finding a friend with benefits would be a much less risky option, and, anyway, I don’t think I could be that casual; besides, why take the risk when the benefits aren’t as compelling as they used to be? So, a friend, or friends, without problematic benefits could be the answer, although even getting the dynamics of that right is proving more complicated than I would have imagined.
Comments (110)
My sis broke up with her other half at Christmas after 14 years. (They'd actually been living apart since August, but only told people at Christmas ( they live abroad so it was easier to contain the news).
I thought if any coupling could go the distance it'd be theirs.
They're both great people and barely had exchanged a cross word.
Not to mention they were financially comfortable, young, healthy and they're both gorgeous (though there was no straying by either party.)
They just feel out of love.
I haven't a clue what it takes.
We can both join our music skills?
And of course other activities ?
What goes on behind closed doors and all that.
My friend and her husband had been together 34 years. He had basically been her first love. From the outside they were a good looking, happy, successful couple as well.
But they weren't.
Maybe the whole institution of marriage is BS, except in rare cases.
We ve both had some problems in past relationships and seem to have learnt from them, and can sit and discuss them. I ve always maintained the most important part of a friendship is communication. It took awhile but we ve seem to have learnt from our mistakes.
Same takeaway though. Marriage is a commitment to self delusion.
But one thing I am sure about is that I would like to meet someone who sees the world and life the way I see it...and make a happy family together...
What I have noticed looking at some photos of friend's gatherings lately is that the happiest couples not just share similarities in character but also visually, it is crazy but yes, they even look like each other...
There is someone for each of us out there...the hard part is to find them...
Single life...no, thanks...
Plus, when people live together, they generally share the same diet, and diet shows visually on the body and face so I guess that is another reason.
It was really shocking, when I saw the photo and if I didn't know the people I'd say they are siblings...
But they have been together for many years and still going strong and happy...
I want the same, well, the longevity might be restricted (due to age) but whatever time we have...