I Wonder What I’m Looking For
The last few years of my marriage were bad, the last couple were horrendous. Would things have turned out differently if I’d been a better partner? Probably, but I’ll never know for sure. Much of what went wrong was my fault, but how much of it that wasn’t is impossible to say.I wasn’t meant to share a life with anyone, I think that much is fair to say. Now, living alone, there is certainly something about that that feels right; it seems to be in keeping with what, or who, I am. But there is also something about it that really doesn’t feel right, and, despite much self analysis, I can’t put my finger on what it is. Obviously, it has a lot to do with people, most probably of the opposite sex, but that’s about as much as I can say.
I don’t want to live with someone as half of a couple again; I do know that much, or at least I think I know it. The idea of being part of a couple on a more casual basis, not living together, and maintaining a separate life, wouldn’t seem like a bad option were it not for the fact that I can well see how it might be the thin end of a wedge with a rather dangerous thick end.
I doubt if finding a friend with benefits would be a much less risky option, and, anyway, I don’t think I could be that casual; besides, why take the risk when the benefits aren’t as compelling as they used to be? So, a friend, or friends, without problematic benefits could be the answer, although even getting the dynamics of that right is proving more complicated than I would have imagined.
Comments (110)
I'd guess you're no the only one unsure of exactly what you're looking for.
Some here aren't looking.
They're mostly either in relationships, or have given up but come back for the social contact.
When people first come here though, they're looking to hook up in some fashion or other, almost without exception.
Molly
Of course he'll get the bag
No woman no cry.
One thing for sure, this old bag won’t make his life easy!
Many a time he’d look up and say, “Lord, why?? Why me?!?!?”
And he loves it
I got something of his..wrapped around my little fingers.......
What were you thinking, Molly?!?
Tsk.....tsk....tsk...
He has just finished restoring an Oriental armoire for MiMi which she ordered online when she saw a set of vintage nightstand.....
“Leave me alone!!!” he said to MiMi
MiMi has hijacked his blog once again....
Sorry, Harbal
Sometimes it's hard to remember that alright
changeshake it , Baby."I don’t want to live with someone as half of a couple again; I do know that much, or at least I think I know it."
"Molly, I know a lot of what I don't want, but, as with most areas of my life, I don't know what I do want. Woe is me."
"I'm not looking, Lindsy, I'm just wondering if I should be."
Harbal
In one of my blogs, I mentioned that I view you as a very straightforward person.
I wish to repeat that and to add that I admire your straightforwardness and self-honesty.
Perhaps, I should add "Que Sera, Sera".
All the best to you for 2019.
You ROCK
Your blog made me look up long-term marriages and why, when grey divorce is one of the fastest-growing divorce statistics, some people aren't divorcing after 30 or more years together but are still even enjoying each other's company - what were their priorities, what do individuals really want of each other for the long haul. Fascinating reading. I have torn up most of my wish list and am working on an achievable one instead
Unless of course I can find my fictional community, then I am sorted anyway.