Yesterday's Test Part two
If you google lumbar puncture the responses discuss needle size, headaches, the position taken, and there are neat pictures of the interlocking pieces of the spine bent forward, parting to allow access to the precious cord within. All they have to do, is stick a needle through the space, invade the spinal cord, withdraw fluid and retreat, They even give you a local anesthetic first!Of course I know horror stories. Headaches that last for weeks, punctures that continue to leak, bad aim...why does no one tell you of the perfect, simple spinal taps that go without a hitch?
What no one mentioned, anywhere, is that the procedure hurts. That it is noisy. That it creates sensations in the body that are eerie and so far outside normal feeling response that your mind starts screaming 'somethings wrong' because, by definition, anything that cannot be identified is a threat.
Apart from a pinching sensation, there is very little pain where the needle is going in. (Well I gather they insert a cannula or sleeve and thread the needle through that so I only have one hole in my skin despite all the probing!) Anesthetic, remember? The first shock of pain was well within my usual tolerance level for discomfort. made shocking and unbearable by surprise and the fact that it felt as though my left hip joint was being hollowed out with a sudden dizzying shift to the feeling of something hot and heavy crawling through the spaces in my spine. I breathed deeply and suggested waiting for the anesthetic to kick in.
There were buzzing crunching noises echoing up through the bones into my head and the pain went on.
The strange thing was the internal dichotomy, I knew I could take the pain, it was not that intense and yet it was unbearable. My eyes filled and overflowed, I sobbed and sighed in shaky relief when he said relax. I said 'are we done?' he said, "we haven't found the space yet'.
It took a long time. Both subjectively and actually. Eventually I had to abandon the foetal position requested at the beginning, and sit, folded over to stretch the spaces into the spine as wide as possible. Ex-dancer, arthritis, small spaces.
At one point I said please stop. I was ignored. It was interesting to see that none of the really rude words floating in my head made it out into the air! Years of believing rude and ugly words do not improve difficult situations? Maybe just sheer common sense, if someone has a sharp object imbedded in your spine you do not want to piss him off!
The end result of all my pain was half a vial of crystalline fluid more transparent than air.
As I had neither headache nor dizziness, just a very sore back, I was allowed to leave at 5:30. A vast improvement on 6 -12 hours flat on your back post tap.
I will not have another lumbar puncture. if you ever need to have one, know that my experience was complicated by the arthritis years of dancing laid down in my spine, but also, go in knowing that it hurts and causes odd sensations as though the marrow is being sucked out of your bones. And the crunchy buzzy noise is quite unpleasant.
The pain is at times excruciating but those stabs are short lived, and not everyone reacts the same to every test.
I was able to sleep last night although turning was a challenge givem the increasing lack of response on my left side and a high level of pain across my lower back.
This morning I am tired, and debating whether or not to go to work. It will be easier to do the editing for Monday If I am there to direct the recording.I will have breakfast and if the vaguely unsettled feeling in my stomach continues I will stay home. I had a rough day yesterday