sendsomeone123

sendsomeone123

Jan 2012

649 Views

Have We Moved On?

I have been contemplating my fairly new single status recently. I have come to the realization that I still spend a significant amount of time thinking about my ex. I am and always have been a very independent self sufficiant woman. By that I mean I am successful in my career, I can pay my own way, and I do not think of myself as being the needy clingy type. Why then do I continue to replay the last few weeks of that relationship over and over in my head? We are here on this CS site for various reasons. Some to make friends and communicate on the blogs, but I think originally we all started out hoping to meet someone here we could perhaps have a relationship with. Am I correct? If this is the case, then why do I feel I am still stuck in that old relationship? I have actually made a significant effort to be out socializing and doing things, but it all come back to the evenings when i am alone with my thoughts (pretty dangerous huh)that this haunts me. Help me out here. Am I having a pity party or can you relate?

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Comments (25)

Ed1941●Bullhead City,, Arizona USA

Jan 22, 2012●151 Blogs●4,758 Comments

Naw! I think it's normal. I have been divorced for 35 years now and I still think of my ex occasionally. I think of her beauty, I think of her inability to grasp life and understand the pitfalls and become so paranoid by them she would refuse to do certain things, I think about her dwelling on her lack of self confidence, but I also remember her for being a caring mother and strong willed when she would believe in something.

I would never ever go back to her especially now. But I still think about her without love or hate.

sendsomeone123OP●Hagerstown, Maryland USA

Jan 22, 2012●2 Blogs●43 Comments

Thanks Ed. You sound like you got it together. I just hope it does'nt take me 35 years.

sleepin_bird●Vilvoorde, Flemish Brabant Belgium

Jan 22, 2012●294 Comments

I think it's very human to feel that way and many people can relate to it, including myself. You only just gotten single... after a break up you need time to grieve, since you did loose someone you loved. Also giving the relationship and break up a place in your memory and putting it to rest take time.
Nothing wrong with keeping yourself busy and socializing, but you can't force your feelings to go away; you'll know when you'll be ready to come to terms and to be open to a new relationship.
Best of luck to you and don't worry too much about it, the healing comes naturally.

robrt787●Somewhere, California USA

Jan 22, 2012●2,572 Comments

Hi Sendsomeone, Perfectly normal what you are going through. For those of us that are single, it happens all the time. We think of those in our past... since we have no one special right now to fill that void in our hearts and minds.
A friend of mine, was a musician.. and he and his longtime gf ended their relationship.. he felt really bad, always talked about her and even dare I say, he thought about ending his life over it.. so he said.. then one day, he met a new woman... they fell in love.. then they were real happy.. and then all he talked about was his new gf. aahh, she was the best, so pretty.. so nice... the love of his life. Then I told him "I thought you said that about your last gf".... and I continued, " you see, life works in mysterious ways, if the last one had not left you or you left her... then you would not have met this new one, who you now say is your heart's content".

sendsomeone123OP●Hagerstown, Maryland USA

Jan 22, 2012●2 Blogs●43 Comments

Ahhhhh...What you are saying is "this too shall pass". Thanks for the words of encouragement you guys. And women..

robrt787●Somewhere, California USA

Jan 22, 2012●2,572 Comments

Also..... sendsomeone, since I am blocked from emailing you on here, maybe due to area or age or something you restricted.... I will tell you now.. I have included YOU in my latest Secret Agent story.. I posted it in the blogs here yesterday..

Stony●Port Elizabeth, Eastern Cape South Africa

Jan 22, 2012●23 Blogs●607 Comments

I think I can relate. When you parted it was a chunk of your body and soul leaving. Some bodies take a lil longer to heal.

Thats how I felt.

Frankinstien●San Juan, Puerto Rico

Jan 22, 2012●1,830 Comments

Dear Sendsome, I don't realy know you or your situation but if you where married ( or in any kind of relation ) for an extended lengh of time it is hard to get over it . We just can't " move on " like nothing ever happened . It is also perfectly normal to have regrets or doubts as to the wisdome of our actions . You will in time become more and more acustomed to your new status . I know it seems to take forever to get over it but you do have less bad and more good moments now and they will continue to increase as time moves . Dwelling on the past will also become a less frequient activity . You may not belive it now but soon you will be more than glad you did this and will only look back as a chapter in your life . You will smile at pleasent moments you will recall but that is all . No love or hate will dominate your feelings, just a wisdome to not repeat past mistakes . Don't take it to heart or be such a victim . We all have been through this and came out better people for it . Well most of us did anyway .

sendsomeone123OP●Hagerstown, Maryland USA

Jan 22, 2012●2 Blogs●43 Comments

Yeah... it's amazing how after a breakup we seem to focus on only the good times. I need to remember the not so great things to keep me on track.

sendsomeone123OP●Hagerstown, Maryland USA

Jan 22, 2012●2 Blogs●43 Comments

Robrt
I just noticed that you said you were blocked from e-mailing me. Can't figure out why unless it's the age thing. I'm too old for you...Wahhhh

lostinmn50●White Bear Lake, Minnesota USA

Jan 22, 2012●281 Comments

many of us have been where you are at now. it does take time for this difficult time in our lives to come to pass,but it will happen ! i really do not know if you could call it a pity party or rather just rerunning what happened and the emotions that come with it. frank and mysst gave some very good comments. i wish you well, and do not let time become your enemy.

sendsomeone123OP●Hagerstown, Maryland USA

Jan 22, 2012●2 Blogs●43 Comments

Thank you all so much for sharing with me. I will continue on and hope for the best.

rowdyrufus1●Milton-Freewater,, Oregon USA

Jan 22, 2012●44 Blogs●241 Comments

send, what helped me move on, after a failed 28 year marriage, was setting down and writing my "What do I want to do now" list. Where I am now, five years later, is almost uncanny... It hasn't been without those "sad moments", but I wouldn't go back for anything!
Finding someone takes time, and letting go of the past is not easy, it was very difficult for me. But every day it gets a little better. Ride wild and ride free girl, and don't waste time looking back...

rowdyrufus

sendsomeone123OP●Hagerstown, Maryland USA

Jan 22, 2012●2 Blogs●43 Comments

Thanks Rowdy. I know we all look back on things that at the time seem like an absolute tragedy. Years later we think about it and more often than not realize we are in a much better place. In my head I know that to be true. I have already made great strides for the future. Making plans for a better happier life. But as the old saying goes "you can always make plans, but you can't plan the outcome".

Sur_de_Quito●Guayaquíl, Guayas Ecuador

Jan 22, 2012●10 Blogs●633 Comments

It's only a feeling... it'll go away!

gleneagle●New York City, New York USA

Jan 22, 2012●5 Blogs●58 Comments

The opposite of love is not hate but indifference. When you can think and talk about that other person without emotion, then you know you have truly moved on. However my brother told me once that the best way to get over a woman was to get another one under me, so the opposite might work for you.

sendsomeone123OP●Hagerstown, Maryland USA

Jan 22, 2012●2 Blogs●43 Comments

Well I am making some changes in my life. Check out my new pics. Anyway I do enjoy a good laugh.

adamisk●raleigh, Mississippi USA

Jan 22, 2012●1,442 Comments

change is difficult

Jana28●Sofia, Sofia Province Bulgaria

Jan 22, 2012●1,803 Comments

Hi Send! BTW your last pic looks even more amazing that the previous one! I can't believe your age... And you look really happy so it seems to me you have moved on, less or more

When I left my ex I had already moved on in many ways, just waited for the right moment to do it physically too. So I didn't have that problem.

There are roughly two cures in your case: time and/or another man. It depends on your personality which one you will choose. Some prefer some short-term ones, others go for another long-term one. Personally I am not for the rebounds and hate to be used in them too...
Good luck!

sendsomeone123OP●Hagerstown, Maryland USA

Jan 22, 2012●2 Blogs●43 Comments

Thanks Sophia....
I mean Jana, but that picture was taken while traveling with my ex.
Its 1 of the few pictures I have that he's not in it with me.

Mysst●Springfield, Missouri USA

Jan 22, 2012●2 Blogs●232 Comments

PICK ME PICK ME

sendsomeone123OP●Hagerstown, Maryland USA

Jan 22, 2012●2 Blogs●43 Comments

Ok Mysst. I can see you were paying attention. Seriouly, I am a grown woman with alot of life experiences under her belt. I think I can make those kind of decisions without feeling like a promiscuous ho.

Mysst●Springfield, Missouri USA

Jan 22, 2012●2 Blogs●232 Comments

Then quite scratching ur head and get on with it

rider4u●Dunchurch, Ontario Canada

Jan 25, 2012●1 Blogs●49 Comments

When the weather breaks and warms up get out on your bike and ride until it becomes a distant memory. There isn't many problems that a full tank of gas can't cure. You have a great smile there and I'm sure many great rides have helped put it there. When you are ready for the next one (whether it is short or long term) he will appear. Just go with the flow

Jana28●Sofia, Sofia Province Bulgaria

Jan 25, 2012●1,803 Comments

Send, it doesn't sound terribly or selfish, that was what I did too! And I hadn't planned it, it just happened like that and later I realized that was what I needed!

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by sendsomeone123

created Jan 2012

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Last Viewed: Apr 28

Last Commented: Jan 2012

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