Can't sleep & crying.

Its after 3am & I still can't sleep. I woke up today feeling blah & crankyish. Its just one of those days where you just wanna cry for no reason. A good cry is good once in awhile. It cleanes out unexpressed vnted up emotions that build up. It gets to a point where you can't holdit in any longer.

Well I worked today. I tried not crying on the way to work....I take train & bus. Well I did cry. But as I got to work I had to suck it up & put a smile on my face. Wasn't easy at some points while at work. It was crazy busy. To make matters worse a couple of staff were rude & petty & one particular resident was being a total pain.

At one point I had 3 people talking to me...try answering 3 people at once lol. And one of them screaming at me for no reason. And another coworker accusing me of doing nothing....while yelling at me in the dining room in front of all the residents & staff...p.lus family members. And turns around & gets me into trouble, just for the fun of it.

Work day goes on....get yelled at again by a resident....according to her I can't do anything right & requesting 10 things at once. I only have 2 hands. And she wants it asap. Arrgghh.

And amonst it all the chaos at work...a resident is dying. I will definately miss her when she's passes on. I really like her & is a sweet lady. Even amongst her confused moments, she's pleasnt & her mind is sometimes elsewhere....she brings a smile to my face. She's on the pathways of life....comfort care. Its hard to see her this way.

Come break time all I could do was cry. On the way home I tried really hard not to cry on the bus. I did weel just a few small tears. Soon as I got home I had a good cry.

I got to vent with someone special. After I finished venting the other person went to bed. And I'm still up. But I did enjoy a glass of red wine & ate some chocolate. The best part was coming across things that put a smile on my face & also made me laugh. I felt better after that. But now I can't sleep.

The thing that's keeping me up is thinking too much. Lol. Especially about me day. I could use a hug & or a good laugh. But most of all....bore me so it makes me sleepy & I fall asleep. But no worries I have a 4 day wknd, so I can sleep in tomorrow lol.

PS....have a good wknd everyone!