It's three times worse than you thought......
First off, thanks to Bungallow for this blog topic. He posted a Roosevelt quote the other day, My Future is in the Past, that whetted my appetite for some existential thought.Please forgive my writing about myself in the third person. I do realise that I'm not 'The Rock'.
Patrick had to work pretty early today. He started at 8 o'clock, which meant getting up at some ungodly hour to catch a bus. Given that none of the Patricks are exactly morning people, they always tend to get up at the last possible moment. It would, therefore, have been extremely helpful if Past Patrick had at least ironed a shirt for him. No such luck!
Present Patrick, frustrated in his pre-coffee funk, had nothing but distain for his former self. Basically, that moron, Past Patrick, made Present Patrick late. Present Patrick didn't even tell his boss the truth. Embarrassed, he covered for Past Patrick with some hastily put together untruth about a traffic jam.
You see, Present Patrick is basically a good guy. Naive, perhaps, but good. He tries his best, he wings it, he blags it, he finds a way.
But he's constantly getting screwed over by Past Patrick. They're like chalk and cheese. Past Patrick is relaxed to the point of out-and-out laziness. He's a poor planner, and his reputation for self restraint is even worse!
Take last night for example: going to bed at 2am when he knew Future Patrick had work in the morning. I think he even knew he hadn't ironed that shirt, the malicious rotter.
When's Past Patrick going to stop screwing Present Patrick over and think of Future Patrick for a change?
Comments (45)
I'm trying to work it out myself. I could feel my brain melting as I was trying to write. The pronouns were a nightmare.
So to answer your question; there could be any number of them at this point.
I just read that all out loud really fast, lots of plosives in there.
I'm afraid I have to insist on a chaise longue before this goes any further!
Plosives. Plosives.
Plosives plosives plosives.
Just trying out the new word.
Good old humour, as self defence mechanism for anything that sounds like it might have a grain of truth in it.
It's great, isn't it? A word that was meant to be.
Now it's time for Present Patrick to fulfil his promise to himself. He promised he wouldn't be a bum like Past Patrick and go to bed at 2am.
It's 2am. Haha.
Well, I'm not working in the morning, but it's bed time. Nice to see you. :)
That's cool, I like Past Patrick.
Nos da.
Nos vemos!
Sorry... a guy's got to sleep sometime and the gloves have to come off before bed!
Haha.... don't take me too seriously, by the way guys....
I'm seeing a pattern where Present Patrick is maybe sabotaging as much as Past Patrick.
None of the Patricks have to be perfect, they need to be just good enough.
Y'kow, I'm okay, you're okay.
I think this blog stopped making sense a long time ago! Perhaps at some point during the writing process.
I quite like that sniffing each other idea... although maybe not here at the moment.... it's a bit too humid for that, I think.
It was Past Calypso who smoked the other nine.
Thanks, Jac! It's a rather large can of worms. Glad I could oil the mental cogs. Much as I'd love to philosophise further, and I really would, future Patrick has start work shortly. Have a great day.... and try not to disappear completely into existential thought - I might need some more of that sense you were talking later!
It was Past Calypso who wasn't smoking for the Past 45 Minutes. Maybe Past Calypso deserves some credit for that.
All I want to know: which Patrick is going to come and teach me cricket? I´m not quite sure which one I was talking to last time?
I just finished teaching, Jac. It's officially the weekend! Consider yourself very lucky to get this explanation:
They are words we use instead of nouns. 'He/him' instead of 'Patrick' or 'one' instead of 'a beer'.
That'll be €10 please.
People keep telling me this, but I swear I've never met him! I think I'd remember, he's quite.... distintive looking, apparently.
Keep the change!
Yay, I'm not the only lightweight.